I am a mother.
I am a mother to three children.
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems".
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems", but that I love all equally.
You say that there is NO way you could do what I do, put up with what I put up with, and defend what I have to defend.
You say we are a strong, but rare breed. But there are more parents like me than you most likely even know. Because we don't look to be recognized or placed on a pedestal.
We do what we have to do, when we have to do it, as to ensure that our "special" kids are getting everything in life that they deserve.
That includes being as close to "normal" as we can get them. And to obtain the specialized services, that though are supposed to be rendered by Federally mandated Laws, are not always put in to place.
We rejoice at what most people take for granted. Especially when they are "late bloomers". We cry from the frustration. Not just our own, but the frustrations that our children display.
We want what ALL (okay, MOST) parents want for their kids. A better and fulfilling life.
You and I aren't THAT different in the world of Parenting. We, like our children, just do things a little bit different from the rest of you. And we see things (like first words, first steps and the other norms of growing up) a tad bit differently as well.
Other than that, I'm not much different from you. And yes, you CAN do what I do on a daily basis. Because when push comes to shove, when it comes to your child, you would do most ANYTHING and move every mountain and boulder to help your child achieve their very best potential.
Do I want to just throw my hands up and quit? YES! Sometimes, the fight to help your child achieve can really tire you emotionally and mentally. As can their daily struggles and fights of will. But in the end, no matter how much you want to just turn around and walk away, you CAN'T. You know for a fact that you have invested WAY too much time, energy, and most important, love in to helping your children succeed to the best of their ability.
So, the next time you think to yourself that you could "never do my job as a parent", or think I must be a lot stronger than you, take a step back and think, and know that when it all comes down to that fine line in the sand, there is really no line at all.
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Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Changes
On Tuesday, I had to work the Volunteer table at registration. After getting there, I registered the two kids that still will be attending (third is going to Middle School).
The School Nurse was seated in the Library and I was in the cafeteria. But this nurse was NOT the same nurse as from the previous school years. And knowing how busy she is, sometimes (due to health) she needs a sub nurse. Which is what I had thought of as I had seen the lady sitting at the desk.
Come to find out, that this woman IS the School Nurse, and is replacing the one that I have come to value as a friend, and whom my son was EXTREMELY attached to.
As I am sitting in my spot at Registration, another friend comes up, who's child is going to Second grade, and is a Title 1 Reading Aide to say hi. We haven't talked all summer. Well, then SHE to drops a bombshell. She is leaving at the end of the month to work in a Dentist's office, in the same building as her twin sister.
Needless to say, telling B was no picnic. And he wasn't all too happy. But also, where the School Nurse is concerned, I can ALREADY see it coming. That is, unless his Homeroom Teacher (and my oldest's former teacher, and she also taught my husband in third grade, many moons ago) catches on to the tricks first and thwarts his idea.
B can be highly manipulative. And if you don't know his subtle ways, his mannerisms and his voice changes, he can EASILY pull a fast one on you. And it usually happens when he doesn't want to do something, trying to get out of classwork or a test or is in an environment he doesn't care to be in at the moment.
The former school's nurse knew ALL of his tricks. She knew when she needed to call me. She knew when she just needed to shoo him off back to class. She even knew when he HONESTLY did not get his Vyvanse that particular morning, and instead of calling, knowing B NEVER, EVER lies about it, just would give him his pill and then send him on his merry little way.
This year, I can see A LOT of phone calls from the nurse in my future. Then again, knowing the teacher, she will be able to catch him in his little cat/mouse game and thwart his ruse. Because she is just that covered and smothered in Awesome Sauce!.. I at least hope.
The School Nurse was seated in the Library and I was in the cafeteria. But this nurse was NOT the same nurse as from the previous school years. And knowing how busy she is, sometimes (due to health) she needs a sub nurse. Which is what I had thought of as I had seen the lady sitting at the desk.
Come to find out, that this woman IS the School Nurse, and is replacing the one that I have come to value as a friend, and whom my son was EXTREMELY attached to.
As I am sitting in my spot at Registration, another friend comes up, who's child is going to Second grade, and is a Title 1 Reading Aide to say hi. We haven't talked all summer. Well, then SHE to drops a bombshell. She is leaving at the end of the month to work in a Dentist's office, in the same building as her twin sister.
Needless to say, telling B was no picnic. And he wasn't all too happy. But also, where the School Nurse is concerned, I can ALREADY see it coming. That is, unless his Homeroom Teacher (and my oldest's former teacher, and she also taught my husband in third grade, many moons ago) catches on to the tricks first and thwarts his idea.
B can be highly manipulative. And if you don't know his subtle ways, his mannerisms and his voice changes, he can EASILY pull a fast one on you. And it usually happens when he doesn't want to do something, trying to get out of classwork or a test or is in an environment he doesn't care to be in at the moment.
The former school's nurse knew ALL of his tricks. She knew when she needed to call me. She knew when she just needed to shoo him off back to class. She even knew when he HONESTLY did not get his Vyvanse that particular morning, and instead of calling, knowing B NEVER, EVER lies about it, just would give him his pill and then send him on his merry little way.
This year, I can see A LOT of phone calls from the nurse in my future. Then again, knowing the teacher, she will be able to catch him in his little cat/mouse game and thwart his ruse. Because she is just that covered and smothered in Awesome Sauce!.. I at least hope.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Schoolward Bound. Fifth Grade, Here He Comes!!
This past week we are about to leave, and the one that is coming upon us has been and will be fairly busy. It's back to school time. And I think that ALL of us are ready. For the most part, anyways.
This week was filled with filling out paperwork, taking in paperwork to be filled out by Medical Professionals, a doctor appointment and school supply shopping.
Geez! Just thinking of what I just listed, I'm tired all over again! *hehe* (=
This coming week, it's REGISTRATION time! And this means now, TWO different schools for three different kids. My oldest is moving on to Middle School.
B is in fifth grade this year. And thankfully, I was able to place him in with my oldest's former homeroom teacher, who is the ONLY one of the three in their grade to be Special Education certified.
It also helps that she taught my HUSBAND when he was a kid at another school, for the third grade. And she started LAST school year to acclimate him by saying good morning to him, giving him his "morning hug" (their classrooms were next to one another at the time between the two grades). And she already has gotten an idea of what his needs will be with classroom placement and what will possibly work best to get the best ability out of his potential.
She runs a pretty tight ship. You do as expected, she is your BFF. You decide to make her life hell and not do as instructed, then your ass is grass. And he needs that kind of firm structure. And she is already on to his manipulations. BONUS!
Do I worry? Yep! But not as much as I have with the teachers of the past in regards to B. This lady is one of the best in her field. And one of the most patient and kind. But also one of the most strict and not able to be bamboozled, too.
I'll more so worry NEXT year, then I will THIS year. Because there is a VERY good chance that B and his older sister will NOT be in the same Middle School, being she was accepted in to a school across town that takes those that are highly advanced/gifted. If she is able to remain there next school year (2012-2013), then he will be in our Zone School for Middle School all on his own.
Yes, he too is advanced in most areas of study. But he doesn't have the work ethic and focus for a Gifted Program. Thanks to his emotional instability, lack of maturity, and his severe ADHD it takes him out of the running for advancement such as what his sister is in. And it hurts me. But at the same time, I can safely say that a setting such as that is clearly not for him.
Should I compare? No. But it is extremely hard to NOT see the difference versus the similarities.
You sometimes, I feel, HAVE TO compare the "odd one out" to the others because it forces you to see just how different the one with the problems truly is from most of society. It makes you step back and think a little more and be more compassionate, understanding and willing to have more patience. Not just with YOUR child with Silent Disabilities, but other children (and adults) with the same afflictions as well.
So, here is to (hopefully) smooth sailing for this school year. In just over a week, and then all three are off on another school-year adventure of learning and fun. But this year, it will be minus their big sister. And I think they will do just fine.
This week was filled with filling out paperwork, taking in paperwork to be filled out by Medical Professionals, a doctor appointment and school supply shopping.
Geez! Just thinking of what I just listed, I'm tired all over again! *hehe* (=
This coming week, it's REGISTRATION time! And this means now, TWO different schools for three different kids. My oldest is moving on to Middle School.
B is in fifth grade this year. And thankfully, I was able to place him in with my oldest's former homeroom teacher, who is the ONLY one of the three in their grade to be Special Education certified.
It also helps that she taught my HUSBAND when he was a kid at another school, for the third grade. And she started LAST school year to acclimate him by saying good morning to him, giving him his "morning hug" (their classrooms were next to one another at the time between the two grades). And she already has gotten an idea of what his needs will be with classroom placement and what will possibly work best to get the best ability out of his potential.
She runs a pretty tight ship. You do as expected, she is your BFF. You decide to make her life hell and not do as instructed, then your ass is grass. And he needs that kind of firm structure. And she is already on to his manipulations. BONUS!
Do I worry? Yep! But not as much as I have with the teachers of the past in regards to B. This lady is one of the best in her field. And one of the most patient and kind. But also one of the most strict and not able to be bamboozled, too.
I'll more so worry NEXT year, then I will THIS year. Because there is a VERY good chance that B and his older sister will NOT be in the same Middle School, being she was accepted in to a school across town that takes those that are highly advanced/gifted. If she is able to remain there next school year (2012-2013), then he will be in our Zone School for Middle School all on his own.
Yes, he too is advanced in most areas of study. But he doesn't have the work ethic and focus for a Gifted Program. Thanks to his emotional instability, lack of maturity, and his severe ADHD it takes him out of the running for advancement such as what his sister is in. And it hurts me. But at the same time, I can safely say that a setting such as that is clearly not for him.
Should I compare? No. But it is extremely hard to NOT see the difference versus the similarities.
You sometimes, I feel, HAVE TO compare the "odd one out" to the others because it forces you to see just how different the one with the problems truly is from most of society. It makes you step back and think a little more and be more compassionate, understanding and willing to have more patience. Not just with YOUR child with Silent Disabilities, but other children (and adults) with the same afflictions as well.
So, here is to (hopefully) smooth sailing for this school year. In just over a week, and then all three are off on another school-year adventure of learning and fun. But this year, it will be minus their big sister. And I think they will do just fine.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Case Manager Mismanagement
Yesterday, I had to drag my family out in to the unseasonably hot Summer heat to take B to his yearly check up. All went well, though he cried like Hoover Dam when he got two shots in his bony arm.
Then, it was off to brunch at a Biscutville in the area where the doctor is (next town over from us)being that only one of us five ate any breakfast. No, it wasn't the boy, the mom, the dad or even the big sister. You got it. Littlest one was smart enough to eat BEFORE we were to leave.
Then, it was off to Child and Family Services, where B has his Case Management and his Psychiatric appointments. I stopped in to drop off the Medication Dispersal sheet for school, being he has to have backup of Vyvanse there, just in case. And while there, I was able to meet up with the CM to sign the needed papers for the next six months to a year (depending on the information).
At one point, she got to talking to B about his not eating and how even skinnier he looks from the last time she had seen him (about a month ago).
This is where the trouble began. And where my "Mama Bear" came out, claws ready.
At one point of the "eating" conversation, I"stepped in" and noted that now, I am seeing troubling signs of his (non)eating habits starting to spill over to his LITTLE sister. She is EXTREMELY picky, just like him. She "bird pecks" most of her meals, just like him. And she is not willing to try foods, just like him.
Needless to say, I got the "you shouldn't compare B to S, and you need to concentrate on B. And I am ONLY going to concentrate on B"...Excuse me? PART OF YOUR JOB is to oversee the needs of the FAMILY, not JUST the client him/herself. And I have LEGITIMATE concerns that ultimately affect my ENTIRE family.
Mind you, I was signing papers that she was LATE getting to the proper areas, but was "hunting" me down to get them signed. Some were back from APRIL. The others were CURRENT paperwork. I even back-dated the older ones (to save her from getting in to trouble).
If what she said about one of my kids being more important over the other was said BEFORE I started placing my "John Hancock", I would have dated the OLD forms for YESTERDAYS date, just to be a bitch.
And I have seriously considered contacting B's former CM who is now HER boss and ask if what she said was correct and/or acceptable. I addressed concerns for BOTH "her client" and for HIS little sister. It wasn't until I said anything, that HE finally got it and is now seeing how HIS habits are affecting others in the home.
Then, it was off to brunch at a Biscutville in the area where the doctor is (next town over from us)being that only one of us five ate any breakfast. No, it wasn't the boy, the mom, the dad or even the big sister. You got it. Littlest one was smart enough to eat BEFORE we were to leave.
Then, it was off to Child and Family Services, where B has his Case Management and his Psychiatric appointments. I stopped in to drop off the Medication Dispersal sheet for school, being he has to have backup of Vyvanse there, just in case. And while there, I was able to meet up with the CM to sign the needed papers for the next six months to a year (depending on the information).
At one point, she got to talking to B about his not eating and how even skinnier he looks from the last time she had seen him (about a month ago).
This is where the trouble began. And where my "Mama Bear" came out, claws ready.
At one point of the "eating" conversation, I"stepped in" and noted that now, I am seeing troubling signs of his (non)eating habits starting to spill over to his LITTLE sister. She is EXTREMELY picky, just like him. She "bird pecks" most of her meals, just like him. And she is not willing to try foods, just like him.
Needless to say, I got the "you shouldn't compare B to S, and you need to concentrate on B. And I am ONLY going to concentrate on B"...Excuse me? PART OF YOUR JOB is to oversee the needs of the FAMILY, not JUST the client him/herself. And I have LEGITIMATE concerns that ultimately affect my ENTIRE family.
Mind you, I was signing papers that she was LATE getting to the proper areas, but was "hunting" me down to get them signed. Some were back from APRIL. The others were CURRENT paperwork. I even back-dated the older ones (to save her from getting in to trouble).
If what she said about one of my kids being more important over the other was said BEFORE I started placing my "John Hancock", I would have dated the OLD forms for YESTERDAYS date, just to be a bitch.
And I have seriously considered contacting B's former CM who is now HER boss and ask if what she said was correct and/or acceptable. I addressed concerns for BOTH "her client" and for HIS little sister. It wasn't until I said anything, that HE finally got it and is now seeing how HIS habits are affecting others in the home.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Kids and Adults. See the Difference.
Yesterday, my son had a Psychiatric appointment. While in the waiting room, a girl not too much younger than him came in. I knew RIGHT OFF THE BAT she has a moderate/severe form of Autism. She mainly played "alone" away from the group of kids at the table (including my 3 kids). But in the end, two of mine went and played with her, as did another little boy.
In that moment, I had seen firsthand how CHILDREN are more accepting and less afraid of communication and interaction with another person, despite being profoundly disabled, in contrast to the *adults* who are TOO SCARED (as in may say or do something "wrong" within the interaction process) to interact with them.
These kids all had something in common in that room. THAT is what drawn them to one another. The fact that they ALL are disabled, mentally in one way or another, you *can't* see OUTSIDE (for the most part) what their handicaps are. But they all understand one another and eachother's "quirks".
If only more people, primarily adults could be like those kids. To see PAST an individual's "quirks" (disabilities) and interact with them on a more personal level of "normalcy" and compassion. To do so would make this world a MUCH better place to live.
Just like my son and his older sister. They can fight and scrap like cats thrown in to a tub of water and getting a bath. But when push comes to shove, my oldest (the girl) says that NO ONE had better DARE call her little brother names (like retard) or pick on him in any other way. She said if they do and she finds out, the bully will be dealing with HER...Same with my son about BOTH of his sisters.
My daughters SEE and also have experienced firsthand what their brother's differences are and can be like, from other "normal" kids (and boys his age). But they are accepting of him for who he is, and what his "quirks" are.
They know when to run and hide, when to stand up to him and when to defend him. In the end, he is their brother. Period. Not disabled, weird, different or "nuts in the head".
Just a kid that is a bit off, but is still lovable just the same and is treated no differently.
In that moment, I had seen firsthand how CHILDREN are more accepting and less afraid of communication and interaction with another person, despite being profoundly disabled, in contrast to the *adults* who are TOO SCARED (as in may say or do something "wrong" within the interaction process) to interact with them.
These kids all had something in common in that room. THAT is what drawn them to one another. The fact that they ALL are disabled, mentally in one way or another, you *can't* see OUTSIDE (for the most part) what their handicaps are. But they all understand one another and eachother's "quirks".
If only more people, primarily adults could be like those kids. To see PAST an individual's "quirks" (disabilities) and interact with them on a more personal level of "normalcy" and compassion. To do so would make this world a MUCH better place to live.
Just like my son and his older sister. They can fight and scrap like cats thrown in to a tub of water and getting a bath. But when push comes to shove, my oldest (the girl) says that NO ONE had better DARE call her little brother names (like retard) or pick on him in any other way. She said if they do and she finds out, the bully will be dealing with HER...Same with my son about BOTH of his sisters.
My daughters SEE and also have experienced firsthand what their brother's differences are and can be like, from other "normal" kids (and boys his age). But they are accepting of him for who he is, and what his "quirks" are.
They know when to run and hide, when to stand up to him and when to defend him. In the end, he is their brother. Period. Not disabled, weird, different or "nuts in the head".
Just a kid that is a bit off, but is still lovable just the same and is treated no differently.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
PYHO Wednesday With Shell.
It is time again for another harrowing episode of...Oh wait! This isn't a Daytime Drama. Then again, it IS "my" drama". Oh hell! Just know I am about to Pour My Heart Out with Shell over at Things I Can't Say.
*REMEMBER FOLKS!*
This Meme/Blog Carnival for many of us is an outlet. Especially for those of us that need a "safe haven" to vent in, away from those that would more wish to hurt us more, than to lend understanding and support. So, if you CANNOT say anything constructively if you DISAGREE, then I suggest you move on. Because believe you me, if Angel over at A Tall Drink Of Sweet Tea catches that you have been bad on the PYHO posts, it is HER that you will be answering to, via her "Flaming Redhead" Vlog.
Now onward...
Bryce had been "pre-authorized" via his insurance to be "Partially Hospitalized" for attending the Day Treatment Summer program this year. So, after playing the game "I wonder if she is EVER going to call" with the Case Manager (CM), I called HER and got the lovely line about how she was GOING TO call me "today". In other words she got caught with her pants down for dropping the proverbial ball.
We decided that I go over to the office to sign the paperwork on Thursday of last week. Now mind you, I had to be outside in the heat a majority of that day at school for their Field Day activities. Plus my husband worked an odd schedule from the norm, by working that day as well. So yes, to go in to the nice, air conditioned office across town later that day completely slipped my mind..All the way through until Sunday.
Today is Wednesday. And I guess that I will be (once again) the one to call HER about coming in TOMORROW for certain (on my husband's actual day off each week) to sign the papers as to officially let Bryce start on Monday at the camp.
You would think that seeing as the lady who is new to her profession of being a CM. would CALL and ensure that all is okay because we had missed an appointment to sign paperwork. Yes, I should have probably called her on Tuesday (being Monday was a holiday). But the last I heard, she gets PAID to do her job of MAKING CALLS to her various clients to check on them (at least) once a month.
What do you want to bet that when I call in about an hour, that she will use the line (again) about her planning on calling me later today. Whatever, lady!
I hate how my kid and the other kids under the care of these Case Managers get bounced around like a ball from one CM to another. They get used to a certain person. Some of them take a good while to get anywhere close to the person who has become the norm in their lives. Suddenly and most of the time, without warning, that CM is "taken away and replaced" with a new CM that the poor kid has to adjust to.
Personally, I find it sadly mishandled in that area. These kids THRIVE on stability, routine and closeness with those that they deem "fit" to be a part of their world.
I can understand getting promoted (as his last CM did). But to switch them as to "rotate" them with the clients of the agency? C'mon!
Oh, and I have YET to even hear a peep from the dumb woman in regards to trying to get Bryce back in to In-Home Therapy, which then YES, would switch him to a QUALIFIED in-home therapist and behavior specialist. I strongly feel it's time again. Needless to say, I bet you two to one, the bitch never "staffed" it with her boss, yet. Wouldn't surprise me in the least at this point.
*REMEMBER FOLKS!*
This Meme/Blog Carnival for many of us is an outlet. Especially for those of us that need a "safe haven" to vent in, away from those that would more wish to hurt us more, than to lend understanding and support. So, if you CANNOT say anything constructively if you DISAGREE, then I suggest you move on. Because believe you me, if Angel over at A Tall Drink Of Sweet Tea catches that you have been bad on the PYHO posts, it is HER that you will be answering to, via her "Flaming Redhead" Vlog.
Now onward...
Bryce had been "pre-authorized" via his insurance to be "Partially Hospitalized" for attending the Day Treatment Summer program this year. So, after playing the game "I wonder if she is EVER going to call" with the Case Manager (CM), I called HER and got the lovely line about how she was GOING TO call me "today". In other words she got caught with her pants down for dropping the proverbial ball.
We decided that I go over to the office to sign the paperwork on Thursday of last week. Now mind you, I had to be outside in the heat a majority of that day at school for their Field Day activities. Plus my husband worked an odd schedule from the norm, by working that day as well. So yes, to go in to the nice, air conditioned office across town later that day completely slipped my mind..All the way through until Sunday.
Today is Wednesday. And I guess that I will be (once again) the one to call HER about coming in TOMORROW for certain (on my husband's actual day off each week) to sign the papers as to officially let Bryce start on Monday at the camp.
You would think that seeing as the lady who is new to her profession of being a CM. would CALL and ensure that all is okay because we had missed an appointment to sign paperwork. Yes, I should have probably called her on Tuesday (being Monday was a holiday). But the last I heard, she gets PAID to do her job of MAKING CALLS to her various clients to check on them (at least) once a month.
What do you want to bet that when I call in about an hour, that she will use the line (again) about her planning on calling me later today. Whatever, lady!
I hate how my kid and the other kids under the care of these Case Managers get bounced around like a ball from one CM to another. They get used to a certain person. Some of them take a good while to get anywhere close to the person who has become the norm in their lives. Suddenly and most of the time, without warning, that CM is "taken away and replaced" with a new CM that the poor kid has to adjust to.
Personally, I find it sadly mishandled in that area. These kids THRIVE on stability, routine and closeness with those that they deem "fit" to be a part of their world.
I can understand getting promoted (as his last CM did). But to switch them as to "rotate" them with the clients of the agency? C'mon!
Oh, and I have YET to even hear a peep from the dumb woman in regards to trying to get Bryce back in to In-Home Therapy, which then YES, would switch him to a QUALIFIED in-home therapist and behavior specialist. I strongly feel it's time again. Needless to say, I bet you two to one, the bitch never "staffed" it with her boss, yet. Wouldn't surprise me in the least at this point.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Inclusion...As it should be.
My child has mental health issues. They do NOT have him, though. He may have his quirks and his ways of viewing the world around him. But when you get down to the brass tacks of it all, he is just your average, ordinary, everyday kid who loves, loves to be loved, plays hard and loves to play with others (most of the time).
Also, we got his SOL (Standards of Learning) scores back from taking them for Reading and Math. He placed Advanced in both. One of them (Reading) was a 2 hour to 2 1/2 hour test. He was able to go to another area to take his test and have as much time as he needed. He felt less stressed and anxiety-ridden, and felt more at ease at knowing that he could just take HIS time and not feel any pressure.
We are now officially out of school for the Summer. But we are getting B in to the Day Treatment Camp. And I already have his new Homeroom teacher lined up for next year. She is the ONLY one of the three in the 5th Grade Unit Special Ed. certified and is already acclimating him to be with her. In fact she started it MONTHS ago, seeing as they are only three doors down from one another. I love H's (now former) teacher!
(My niece who is going to be a Senior in HS and B at the family reunion)
(Five...yes, F-I-V-E generations of my husband's late Grandfather's side of the family. 7 kids, 16 grands and 32 great-grands, and 1 great-great grand. NOT all pictured here, but includes spouses/significant others, with my son in very front in red shirt and blue shorts.)
(B in the school's Field Day race this past Thursday.)
Also, we got his SOL (Standards of Learning) scores back from taking them for Reading and Math. He placed Advanced in both. One of them (Reading) was a 2 hour to 2 1/2 hour test. He was able to go to another area to take his test and have as much time as he needed. He felt less stressed and anxiety-ridden, and felt more at ease at knowing that he could just take HIS time and not feel any pressure.
We are now officially out of school for the Summer. But we are getting B in to the Day Treatment Camp. And I already have his new Homeroom teacher lined up for next year. She is the ONLY one of the three in the 5th Grade Unit Special Ed. certified and is already acclimating him to be with her. In fact she started it MONTHS ago, seeing as they are only three doors down from one another. I love H's (now former) teacher!
Monday, May 23, 2011
And so he got approved...Sorta.
Finally. I had received the "Pre-Authorization" notice for Bryce to go to Day Treatment Day Camp for the summer. I had practically crawled up his Case Manager's hind end as to know when I was to get the paper work. After several weeks asking about this paperwork to fill out, she FINALLY tells me that Medicaid is "doing things different this year and pre-authing" the clients". Nice! Thanks for telling me after WEEKS of speculation.
So, I get my copy in the mail last week. He got approved alright! For "Mental Health Partial Hospitalization" due to it being "Medically Necessary And Approved as Requested".
Stupid insurance formalities! I am NOT placing my kid in a Psych Ward. He is going to be in a Summer Camp with other kids with problems and disabilities as he too has.
In the Day Treatment Day Camp setting, they not only do fun things like crafts and go to various places. They learn the tools (or are re-taught, if they have "forgotten") to help them have better social and behavioral skills. And they even receive therapy on-site at least once a week. And they learn how to better form and interact in friendships.
Most of these kids don't have any real friends. Why? Because of their "quirks", like being so short tempered, their ability to ramble on about one certain thing, not letting others speak or they get cut off because our kids have yet to master the social cues of when to "talk and when to shut up". Or they have visible tics that scare other kids from interacting with the one affected.
At least at the Day Treatment Day Camp, EVERYONE is equal. There is no shunning. They feel safe and comfortable. And if their "quirks" decide to shine, that's okay. Even the negative ones. But they will get assistance in trying to "deal" with the more negative aspects of the times where being good is just a little bit more hard than most days for them.
But one little hitch is still in the plan. Where in the world is my paperwork to OFFICIALLY place him in to the Summer Camp? I guess I will get to make the lovely call (again!) to ask his (new..as in new to being one) Case Manager once more about getting the papers to fill out and give permission to be in the Day Treatment setting.
It's only about two weeks away. So they best give me my papers to sign. Or else, if she cannot do her job properly, I will have to report her to Bryce's old CM, who is now in charge of the CM staffing.
And I REALLY hate "tattling" on people, only to get them in to trouble. But by golly! They need to do their job and do it in a TIMELY manner. Yes, there are other kids besides mine that they help and I duly understand this. But I appreciate equal time and concern for my kid as well, along with the other patients.
So, I get my copy in the mail last week. He got approved alright! For "Mental Health Partial Hospitalization" due to it being "Medically Necessary And Approved as Requested".
Stupid insurance formalities! I am NOT placing my kid in a Psych Ward. He is going to be in a Summer Camp with other kids with problems and disabilities as he too has.
In the Day Treatment Day Camp setting, they not only do fun things like crafts and go to various places. They learn the tools (or are re-taught, if they have "forgotten") to help them have better social and behavioral skills. And they even receive therapy on-site at least once a week. And they learn how to better form and interact in friendships.
Most of these kids don't have any real friends. Why? Because of their "quirks", like being so short tempered, their ability to ramble on about one certain thing, not letting others speak or they get cut off because our kids have yet to master the social cues of when to "talk and when to shut up". Or they have visible tics that scare other kids from interacting with the one affected.
At least at the Day Treatment Day Camp, EVERYONE is equal. There is no shunning. They feel safe and comfortable. And if their "quirks" decide to shine, that's okay. Even the negative ones. But they will get assistance in trying to "deal" with the more negative aspects of the times where being good is just a little bit more hard than most days for them.
But one little hitch is still in the plan. Where in the world is my paperwork to OFFICIALLY place him in to the Summer Camp? I guess I will get to make the lovely call (again!) to ask his (new..as in new to being one) Case Manager once more about getting the papers to fill out and give permission to be in the Day Treatment setting.
It's only about two weeks away. So they best give me my papers to sign. Or else, if she cannot do her job properly, I will have to report her to Bryce's old CM, who is now in charge of the CM staffing.
And I REALLY hate "tattling" on people, only to get them in to trouble. But by golly! They need to do their job and do it in a TIMELY manner. Yes, there are other kids besides mine that they help and I duly understand this. But I appreciate equal time and concern for my kid as well, along with the other patients.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
ADA and it's historical Significance
ADA, also commonly known as Americans with Disabilities Act, which is now integrating more and more Disabilities over the last couple of decades is an often misunderstood Federal Law. There seem to be more assumptions made, than having facts spoken of.
To get a better view about the ADA, please watch this video that is just a few minutes long.
Sadly, for those individulas who like my son, have what are called "invisible" or "silent" disabilities, getting the ADA to work for them is a chore, to say the least.
The less a person LOOKS disabled, the less likely that the ADA will benefit them. At least this is MY personal experience in regards to trying to have the ADA work in Bryce's favor. I'm still fighting to get simple accommodations at school. Not to mention, he is LEGALLY obliged to receive the 504 Plan. But again, the school is fighting me on that with mundane excuses.
Here's some facts about Invisible/Silent Disabilities.
We as individuals with invisible/silent disabilities and/or those as their caregivers need to get louder than we have been. We need to start shouting from the rooftops. Especially where CHILDREN are concerned. They are the most overlooked individuals.
Why? The simple answer is that because they are KIDS. Kids are stereotyped as being too young and should be able to have things "bounce off them" as if they were rubber balls. Basically, they are too young to be so inactive. Or too young to have "such things" (such as diabetes, which in its self can be QUITE debilitating).
Some children (and adults) don't "look" sick on the outside, but are debilitated on the inside. They may keep medical equipment within their vehicles, out of plan sight (which was the case with me as a small child), in case of an emergent situation.
For twenty years, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) has fought long and hard for those that are VISUALLY (as in seen as they are physically disabled) disabled. Just within the past decade, that I MYSELF know of, have the silently disabled been justified with being included in the fight for Federal Law to also encompass their needs of inclusion and legal fairness to be seen and heard as having REAL disabilities and to be afforded the same rights and Due Processes as their visibly impaired counterparts.
I hope that this post has served it's purpose as being a learning tool, a historical piece, and a means to get more people involved in the movement to bring to light that those with silent/invisible disabilities can and ARE productive individuals within their communities and that they should be able to obtain the same rights and inclusions as those that are blind, deaf, physically and/or mentally challenged.
To get a better view about the ADA, please watch this video that is just a few minutes long.
Sadly, for those individulas who like my son, have what are called "invisible" or "silent" disabilities, getting the ADA to work for them is a chore, to say the least.
The less a person LOOKS disabled, the less likely that the ADA will benefit them. At least this is MY personal experience in regards to trying to have the ADA work in Bryce's favor. I'm still fighting to get simple accommodations at school. Not to mention, he is LEGALLY obliged to receive the 504 Plan. But again, the school is fighting me on that with mundane excuses.
Here's some facts about Invisible/Silent Disabilities.
We as individuals with invisible/silent disabilities and/or those as their caregivers need to get louder than we have been. We need to start shouting from the rooftops. Especially where CHILDREN are concerned. They are the most overlooked individuals.
Why? The simple answer is that because they are KIDS. Kids are stereotyped as being too young and should be able to have things "bounce off them" as if they were rubber balls. Basically, they are too young to be so inactive. Or too young to have "such things" (such as diabetes, which in its self can be QUITE debilitating).
Some children (and adults) don't "look" sick on the outside, but are debilitated on the inside. They may keep medical equipment within their vehicles, out of plan sight (which was the case with me as a small child), in case of an emergent situation.
For twenty years, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) has fought long and hard for those that are VISUALLY (as in seen as they are physically disabled) disabled. Just within the past decade, that I MYSELF know of, have the silently disabled been justified with being included in the fight for Federal Law to also encompass their needs of inclusion and legal fairness to be seen and heard as having REAL disabilities and to be afforded the same rights and Due Processes as their visibly impaired counterparts.
I hope that this post has served it's purpose as being a learning tool, a historical piece, and a means to get more people involved in the movement to bring to light that those with silent/invisible disabilities can and ARE productive individuals within their communities and that they should be able to obtain the same rights and inclusions as those that are blind, deaf, physically and/or mentally challenged.
Monday, April 25, 2011
SSI/SSDI...What Are They?
My son gets SSI for children. He basically draws off of myself and/or my husband's collected Social Security benefits that I did at one time pay in to, and that my husband, through his employer, IS CURRENTLY paying in to.
Most people have a misconceived notion that my child draws off of ALL tax payers. Not true. It's off of myself and/or my husband, only.
Please watch the two following videos, especially the second one in regards to information pertaining to SSI/SSDI and what Mental Disorders/Illnesses MAY qualify to collect, and it's application processes.
*DISCLAIMER*... I do not endorse either of these gentlemen. I have not ever made contact with either, nor am I receiving any monetary gain for featuring these men and their companies.
Most people have a misconceived notion that my child draws off of ALL tax payers. Not true. It's off of myself and/or my husband, only.
Please watch the two following videos, especially the second one in regards to information pertaining to SSI/SSDI and what Mental Disorders/Illnesses MAY qualify to collect, and it's application processes.
*DISCLAIMER*... I do not endorse either of these gentlemen. I have not ever made contact with either, nor am I receiving any monetary gain for featuring these men and their companies.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Doing Things Different This Time.
I'd gotten a call out of the blue from Bryce's Case Manager over at Child And Family Services (where he gets his therapies as needed, and sees his Psychiatrist).
Before leaving from his appointment earlier in the month, I once more mentioned to be sure to let me know about Day Treatment Day Camp. I skipped last year as to give Bryce a "break". This year, that mistake will NOT happen again.
Plus, Bryce enjoys going! Hr goes to different places. And it's all-expense paid by the funds received by Day Treatment.
Medicaid picks up the tab for my child to go. Federal Grants and community donations help fund the various activities.
Not only does my son get to do fun things Monday through Friday, but he receives the help of a trained staff in behavioral issues, and talks with a registered Psychiatrist or Psychologist once a week.
But apparently (according to the Case Manager), things are going to be a tad bit different. In a GOOD way!
Those that pick which students are in need of Day Treatment services during the school year will be there to watch the kids that are NOT being served within the school setting (including MY kid) and observing them to see if indeed they can qualify for help and to get the ball rolling.
Two years now, two teachers agreed that Bryce needed extra help in the classroom. Behavior management, primarily. He's been disruptive of others, non-compliant at times, not staying on task or being well organized. And I can only do so much from home. And the teacher herself can only do so much individually with him, seeing as there is a minimum of 18 kids in her class that ALL demand attention at some point.
Even if he can get assistance via the Day Treatment Therapist for an hour a day, or every couple of days, I think, and truly believe that it would make a tremendous amount of difference.
And my hope is that when all is said and done with the summer's Day Treatment Camp and the observances made, that Bryce will be one of the ones that will be selected for the extra help.
Though, I must admit, it's a bit hard at times to stay positive or optimistic about things such as this. After being shot down, ran over, screwed over and flat-out denied so many times, it can sometimes be difficult to stay in that positive frame of mind. Especially since I have yet to be able to fill out the papers to place Bryce in DTC.
Before leaving from his appointment earlier in the month, I once more mentioned to be sure to let me know about Day Treatment Day Camp. I skipped last year as to give Bryce a "break". This year, that mistake will NOT happen again.
Plus, Bryce enjoys going! Hr goes to different places. And it's all-expense paid by the funds received by Day Treatment.
Medicaid picks up the tab for my child to go. Federal Grants and community donations help fund the various activities.
Not only does my son get to do fun things Monday through Friday, but he receives the help of a trained staff in behavioral issues, and talks with a registered Psychiatrist or Psychologist once a week.
But apparently (according to the Case Manager), things are going to be a tad bit different. In a GOOD way!
Those that pick which students are in need of Day Treatment services during the school year will be there to watch the kids that are NOT being served within the school setting (including MY kid) and observing them to see if indeed they can qualify for help and to get the ball rolling.
Two years now, two teachers agreed that Bryce needed extra help in the classroom. Behavior management, primarily. He's been disruptive of others, non-compliant at times, not staying on task or being well organized. And I can only do so much from home. And the teacher herself can only do so much individually with him, seeing as there is a minimum of 18 kids in her class that ALL demand attention at some point.
Even if he can get assistance via the Day Treatment Therapist for an hour a day, or every couple of days, I think, and truly believe that it would make a tremendous amount of difference.
And my hope is that when all is said and done with the summer's Day Treatment Camp and the observances made, that Bryce will be one of the ones that will be selected for the extra help.
Though, I must admit, it's a bit hard at times to stay positive or optimistic about things such as this. After being shot down, ran over, screwed over and flat-out denied so many times, it can sometimes be difficult to stay in that positive frame of mind. Especially since I have yet to be able to fill out the papers to place Bryce in DTC.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Yes, Celebs To Can Have Mental Illnesses
Everyone is human that walks on two legs and speaks a language. This includes high profile politicos, those in the music business, athletes, and entertainers.
Entertainers such as Catherine Zeta-Jones included. She has Bipolar II Disorder.
Differences in Bipolar I and Bipolar II are...
Bipolar Type 1
The type 1 bipolar disorder is characterized based on the occurrence of at least one manic episode, with or without the occurrence of a major depressive episode. The mania in this diagnosis is full-blown. This abnormality would usually last for a week at the very least. But there are cases that the bipolar patient is required to be confined for more than a week if hospitalized.
Symptoms of this type include the following:
* Self-esteem is high and the patient possesses a great deal of confidence.
* Ambitious attitude is apparent in this state.
* There is the feeling of sleeplessness.
* The patient tends to talk excessively.
* The patient has a tendency to think more than the usual.
The danger of this type is that the patient may hallucinate, losing his grasp of reality. In some cases of bipolar type 1, the patient is diagnosed as psychotic. In some books about bipolar disorder, bipolar type 1 is also called the "raging" bipolar.
Bipolar Type 2
The bipolar type 2 disorder is characterized by the occurrence of at least one hypomania episode and one major depressive state. Sometimes, this type may even have occurrences of more depressive episodes.
In some cases, hypomania actually enables the individual to excel in their fields of expertise. The state of hypomania can be apparent in people that are top achievers in the work environment and at parties. The symptoms in hypomania are mostly positive and may run for about four days before it subsides.
Though its manifestation is obvious and can be observed clearly by other people, the "swinging" bipolar (as it is aptly called) doesn't cause any disruption in normal functional settings. It doesn't cause any hospitalization to a hyperactive person and doesn't have psychotic tendencies.
Article Source: Ezine Articles
And yes, as such is the case with Catherine Zeta-Jones, stress can play a factor in the Bipolar patient's stability and ability to control their disorder, and function at more normal levels.
To read the full article about CZJ and her treatment, CLICK HERE.
Entertainers such as Catherine Zeta-Jones included. She has Bipolar II Disorder.
Differences in Bipolar I and Bipolar II are...
Bipolar Type 1
The type 1 bipolar disorder is characterized based on the occurrence of at least one manic episode, with or without the occurrence of a major depressive episode. The mania in this diagnosis is full-blown. This abnormality would usually last for a week at the very least. But there are cases that the bipolar patient is required to be confined for more than a week if hospitalized.
Symptoms of this type include the following:
* Self-esteem is high and the patient possesses a great deal of confidence.
* Ambitious attitude is apparent in this state.
* There is the feeling of sleeplessness.
* The patient tends to talk excessively.
* The patient has a tendency to think more than the usual.
The danger of this type is that the patient may hallucinate, losing his grasp of reality. In some cases of bipolar type 1, the patient is diagnosed as psychotic. In some books about bipolar disorder, bipolar type 1 is also called the "raging" bipolar.
Bipolar Type 2
The bipolar type 2 disorder is characterized by the occurrence of at least one hypomania episode and one major depressive state. Sometimes, this type may even have occurrences of more depressive episodes.
In some cases, hypomania actually enables the individual to excel in their fields of expertise. The state of hypomania can be apparent in people that are top achievers in the work environment and at parties. The symptoms in hypomania are mostly positive and may run for about four days before it subsides.
Though its manifestation is obvious and can be observed clearly by other people, the "swinging" bipolar (as it is aptly called) doesn't cause any disruption in normal functional settings. It doesn't cause any hospitalization to a hyperactive person and doesn't have psychotic tendencies.
Article Source: Ezine Articles
And yes, as such is the case with Catherine Zeta-Jones, stress can play a factor in the Bipolar patient's stability and ability to control their disorder, and function at more normal levels.
To read the full article about CZJ and her treatment, CLICK HERE.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Blog Hop With the Weekend Wander Crew!
Happy Weekend to all! I hope your Saturday is quiet, stress free and full of fun.
It's that time again for Weekend Wander with the fab blogging community, For The Love Of Blogs.
Come and join in the fun! But first, be my guinea pig if you will and see if your link will post on my Inlinkz blog hop area. Just follow the directions (including about leaving a GENUINE comment on THIS post..As in NO copy/paste or a "I followed, now follow me" thing.
Have a great weekend everyone!
It's that time again for Weekend Wander with the fab blogging community, For The Love Of Blogs.
Come and join in the fun! But first, be my guinea pig if you will and see if your link will post on my Inlinkz blog hop area. Just follow the directions (including about leaving a GENUINE comment on THIS post..As in NO copy/paste or a "I followed, now follow me" thing.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Denial..Why "Our" Kids? (PYHO)
**Reminder..Those of us linking up with Shell at PYHO are literally writing from our hearts, what is on our minds. Good, bad and indifferent. It's a place to BUILD UP, not tear down those of us participating. So, if you have NOTHING NICE to say in your comment, please refrain from commenting at all.**
I've got a lovely, sweet, funny and kind new Bloggy and Twitter friend. Her pen name is The_Drama_Mama over at The Scoop On Poop. I have even added her blog to my Blog list of Special Needs Bloggers here in The "Mental"-ist Mom. Most of the time, she shows us what her life with a child with many mental disorders is like using humor and seeing the lighter side of life.
But she took on a more serious topic for MommyLeBron's "Bipolar Tuesdays" and has shown what progress her daughter has made who's got most of the same diagnosis as what Bryce has as well. To say we "relate" is a clear understatement.
After reading the last comment that Drama_Mama_ had made in regards to our "kind words", the last line struck a chord with me. One that I still at times wrestle with.
Denial.
At first, when my son was a toddler and even a baby, I "denied" that I saw some "strange" things. Like not wanting to be held or touched much. Not liking the textures of certain food types. Crying at loud sounds like a fire engine. Ordering things, and getting profusely upset if you even slightly changed the order or the way the objects sat.
Then came the nasty mood swings that I chalked up to the "Terrible Two's" and "Horrible Threes".
But how can you "deny" facts like your child beating his sisters almost senseless or pulling a knife or hammer on you at the ages of 4, 5 and 6 years old, knowing he NEVER is able to watch movies that "promote" violence such as that?
I tried to "deny" the obvious for so long. And even when I did let myself see the REAL picture and magnitude of my child's problems, his father still was in denial himself. Until he saw Bryce actually pull a pencil on his older sister and heard his son say that he was going to stab her in the heart and kill her...over a TOY.
Not to mention the attention, focusing and extreme hyperness that got him in to trouble with the classroom Kindergarten teacher.
It took us a good two years to get ANYONE to listen and to lead us in the right direction. I definitely suspected (highly) ADHD. But of course the "doctor" (Pediatrician) chalked it up to his just "being an overly active, typical boy". Even after I stated the volatile states and severe mood swings.
At that point, I wondered who indeed was the one "in denial". And I had a CREDIBLE person attend that appointment with me. My mother-in-law who (at the time) was a (still) practicing nurse!
After almost a year later of the same crap, I finally got him in to his current Psychiatrist. It took at least three visits before the doctor would confirm or deny ANY kind of diagnosis for Bryce. He wanted to see my son a few times, get reports from the school, his Primary doctor and what the Case Manager where we go monthly had observed.
When all the pieces were fit together of the intricate puzzle that was my child, at least one firm thing was confirmed. My son has *SEVERE* ADHD. As I sat there and heard the OFFICIAL Dx, I bawled. And not from anger or sadness. From relief. FINALLY. Someone heard me. They BELIEVED me. I no longer had to TRY and deny "something" was off or wrong. After two extremely hard and long years, we were getting somewhere.
Parents like myself, The_Drama_Mama, Angel over at A Drink Of Sweet Tea and a host of others in my Blog Buddy List have times of denial. It's our way of "escaping", if just for a moment. It helps us see the true reality of what our children have to deal with on a daily basis.
Sometimes, "denial" can be a blessing. The reality is ALWAYS with us. But to "pretend" once in a while that our children are like ANYONE ELSE'S, even just for a brief moment, or have the deep-seeded hope that one day our kids will "grow out of it" gives us a tiny bit of our sanity back.
Denial doesn't (always) hurt anyone, if you are in denial for the "right" reason, and not to the point where it can damage you, your child or your family further.
Hence the question... "Why OUR kids!?"
Because they were put here to teach us something about ourselves. Patience, kindness, looking past other's differences, and a host of other reasons.
They weren't our "punishment" for something done in our past. They just want what we all want. Love, acceptance, the chance to meet their full potential and to show the world that "being crazy" isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Monday, March 14, 2011
I Ripped In To The (Substitute) School Nurse.
I honestly didn't mean to. And it was out of anger more than anything, as well as being tired of the "same shit, different day" call.
Yes, it IS true that Bryce did NOT have his Vyvanse this morning. And no, the school has no more of his "back up" pills on stand by. Yes, his not getting his ADHD med this morning was/is MY fault (and his dad's) because we accidentally left it in the glove compartment after taking it with us on an outing yesterday morning.
After speaking both with the (sub) school nurse and with Bryce himself as to what was going on with his "screaming and yelling fit" (which he claims he was NOT acting out), I honestly cannot say at this point who is telling me the truth between him and his teacher.
Why yes I did say that his teacher MAY be *lying*. Because if my son has ANY type of fit (be it mild or otherwise), they call me and AUTOMATICALLY assume that Bryce didn't have his ADHD medicine and will proceed to ask if indeed he did have it or not. In which case, he IS medicated (at home) about 98% of the time.
Also note, that I have told them time and time again, like a damned broken ass record, that it is *NOT* the Vyvanse that controls his mood swings. The Seroquel is used for that issue. And even then, it will not 100% curb them.
Plus add in the fact (and yes it IS indeed listed on his paperwork in the school files, as are ALL of his mental health problems/issues) that he has Sensory Processing issues. And guess what? THAT may very well be the ACTUAL culprit at hand as to why he *supposedly* acted out and had a meltdown.
The Master Gardners Association is at the school this morning and apparently there is A LOT of people in the cafeteria for this, with A LOT of different noises, sights and voices all going at one time. That amounts to WAY TOO MUCH for Bryce to take in all at one time.
No medication will help that! NOTHING. That is a sensory issue with the brain that NO drug will "help". I'm sick of my kids' school thinking that ANY "mental health medication" will be the CURE ALL as to help the teachers and school staff to "handle" these kids. The damn pills are NOT the complete answer, nor is it the ONLY way to "help" these kids meet their FULLEST potential.
WORKING WITH THEM, be it one-on-one or in groups within the classrooms, ALONG WITH the "aid" of the medications is the "cure all" to helping children with various mentally incapacitating disorders/disabilities. Not just to "drug them up" as to SHUT THEM UP.
If I could I would at least pull Bryce out of the Public Schools system and either place him in a Private School setting or even better yet, Home School. But I refuse to Home School for various reasons. One is the patience factor and the point that at some point, I would not have the knowledge to keep going with teaching.
This school has known of ALL of his problems since day one. And legally he DOES meet the requirements for Specialized Services. But their excuses of not complying with the law is that his Academic scores, which meet or even exceed standards for his grade level do not "permit" him to have even simple Requests for Adjustments met. Like isolation for test-taking or even having the help of Day Treatment for times like what *supposedly* happened today.
Now, I am even closer to, if not actually ready to contact the offices of the Disability Rights Advocacy Group in Richmond, Virginia. My son and I have been bullied and passed up long enough.
Yes, it IS true that Bryce did NOT have his Vyvanse this morning. And no, the school has no more of his "back up" pills on stand by. Yes, his not getting his ADHD med this morning was/is MY fault (and his dad's) because we accidentally left it in the glove compartment after taking it with us on an outing yesterday morning.
After speaking both with the (sub) school nurse and with Bryce himself as to what was going on with his "screaming and yelling fit" (which he claims he was NOT acting out), I honestly cannot say at this point who is telling me the truth between him and his teacher.
Why yes I did say that his teacher MAY be *lying*. Because if my son has ANY type of fit (be it mild or otherwise), they call me and AUTOMATICALLY assume that Bryce didn't have his ADHD medicine and will proceed to ask if indeed he did have it or not. In which case, he IS medicated (at home) about 98% of the time.
Also note, that I have told them time and time again, like a damned broken ass record, that it is *NOT* the Vyvanse that controls his mood swings. The Seroquel is used for that issue. And even then, it will not 100% curb them.
Plus add in the fact (and yes it IS indeed listed on his paperwork in the school files, as are ALL of his mental health problems/issues) that he has Sensory Processing issues. And guess what? THAT may very well be the ACTUAL culprit at hand as to why he *supposedly* acted out and had a meltdown.
The Master Gardners Association is at the school this morning and apparently there is A LOT of people in the cafeteria for this, with A LOT of different noises, sights and voices all going at one time. That amounts to WAY TOO MUCH for Bryce to take in all at one time.
No medication will help that! NOTHING. That is a sensory issue with the brain that NO drug will "help". I'm sick of my kids' school thinking that ANY "mental health medication" will be the CURE ALL as to help the teachers and school staff to "handle" these kids. The damn pills are NOT the complete answer, nor is it the ONLY way to "help" these kids meet their FULLEST potential.
WORKING WITH THEM, be it one-on-one or in groups within the classrooms, ALONG WITH the "aid" of the medications is the "cure all" to helping children with various mentally incapacitating disorders/disabilities. Not just to "drug them up" as to SHUT THEM UP.
If I could I would at least pull Bryce out of the Public Schools system and either place him in a Private School setting or even better yet, Home School. But I refuse to Home School for various reasons. One is the patience factor and the point that at some point, I would not have the knowledge to keep going with teaching.
This school has known of ALL of his problems since day one. And legally he DOES meet the requirements for Specialized Services. But their excuses of not complying with the law is that his Academic scores, which meet or even exceed standards for his grade level do not "permit" him to have even simple Requests for Adjustments met. Like isolation for test-taking or even having the help of Day Treatment for times like what *supposedly* happened today.
Now, I am even closer to, if not actually ready to contact the offices of the Disability Rights Advocacy Group in Richmond, Virginia. My son and I have been bullied and passed up long enough.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Children Like Mine Grieve Differently
My son isn't completely your "average, ordinary" kid. Sure, he does what most kids do in regards to playing outside, playing video games, watching goofy TV shows and other "normal" kid things.
But much of that is on a lower age level then those of his peers. Though he is finally out of the stage of still wanting to watch Playhouse Disney and the Srpout Channel (which he did up until the age of 8 years old).
Three years ago, two of my kids (Bryce and his older sister) got their first "taste" of real life, and the fact that we don't live forever and that those that we love will die one day.
Back then, I only took Hayley (the oldest) with us to the Funeral services. It was her first time seeing a person who passed away laying in state. For the most part, under the circumstances, she did quite well.
Now, tomorrow she will witness the burial of her Great-Grandfather, whom she was quite fond of. And so was Bryce. He will be now attending his first Funeral service.
With him, we have been preparing him for WEEKS of the impending death of their "Big Papa". Yes, there were lots of questions. My husband and I answered best as we could.
Sunday night is when Scott's grandfather passed. And while the two older ones were shook up and in a state of denile and shock, they took it better than I thought that they would.
The next morning though, is when all of that changed. And overnight, my son had changed. I guess from all the pent up grief from the night before.
While most children his age would just fall apart, crying and either go off to be alone or wish to be held as they began their grieving process, Bryce was "showing himself" in a way I had not seen in a very long time.
You see, one of his problems is a processing disorder. His brain doesn't take emotional overload very well, or sensory messages that are too great or too many to deal with at once. And this is apparently what had happened.
And the end result was a nine-year-old boy throwing, hitting, screaming, yelling and crying all at once. It was a classic Manic Episode in full form. Only this time unlike most others, I knew where this one was stemming from. Normally they just "hit" without real warning or cause. While indeed, it was without warning, I was able to figure out the cause pretty fast.
I'd chalked it up to the grief of what we told him the night before just all spilling out at once. But then, it happened on the next morning as well. While I still figured it was the grieving coming out, seeing as they had been too busy otherwise to "really think about it all", I'd had enough. I too have been at the end of my emotional rope.
After day two of this volatile display of emotion, I flat out told Bryce that if this is how he was going to be, then there was NO way he was going to be allowed to attend the Funeral. I said that this was NOT the way that we display our hurt. Especially not there.
And like I flipped a switch within him somehow, he stopped. Yes, he was still crying, but it was more of an "age appropriate" crying and being upset.
Kids with processing and sensory disorders deal with things so much differently than neurotypical children. What may not mean the end of the world to us, and seem quite trivial is equivalent to the world crashing down around them and that the sky is falling.
So when something such as the death of a close friend or family member occurs, their already shaky emotional and mental stability can indeed worsen. And a myriad of emotion can spill out all at once, and along with it come some not-so desired behaviors.
**Also as a side note, I would like to thank our cousin Tara. She was the ONLY one out of all the family that know of Bryce's problems to ask how Bryce was doing and handling HIS loss.
Now I can see indeed why I picked her as the God Parent of my kids. She truly is concerned for their welfare and never forgets to ask about them. Especially my son. Thank you Tara!**
But much of that is on a lower age level then those of his peers. Though he is finally out of the stage of still wanting to watch Playhouse Disney and the Srpout Channel (which he did up until the age of 8 years old).
Three years ago, two of my kids (Bryce and his older sister) got their first "taste" of real life, and the fact that we don't live forever and that those that we love will die one day.
Back then, I only took Hayley (the oldest) with us to the Funeral services. It was her first time seeing a person who passed away laying in state. For the most part, under the circumstances, she did quite well.
Now, tomorrow she will witness the burial of her Great-Grandfather, whom she was quite fond of. And so was Bryce. He will be now attending his first Funeral service.
With him, we have been preparing him for WEEKS of the impending death of their "Big Papa". Yes, there were lots of questions. My husband and I answered best as we could.
Sunday night is when Scott's grandfather passed. And while the two older ones were shook up and in a state of denile and shock, they took it better than I thought that they would.
The next morning though, is when all of that changed. And overnight, my son had changed. I guess from all the pent up grief from the night before.
While most children his age would just fall apart, crying and either go off to be alone or wish to be held as they began their grieving process, Bryce was "showing himself" in a way I had not seen in a very long time.
You see, one of his problems is a processing disorder. His brain doesn't take emotional overload very well, or sensory messages that are too great or too many to deal with at once. And this is apparently what had happened.
And the end result was a nine-year-old boy throwing, hitting, screaming, yelling and crying all at once. It was a classic Manic Episode in full form. Only this time unlike most others, I knew where this one was stemming from. Normally they just "hit" without real warning or cause. While indeed, it was without warning, I was able to figure out the cause pretty fast.
I'd chalked it up to the grief of what we told him the night before just all spilling out at once. But then, it happened on the next morning as well. While I still figured it was the grieving coming out, seeing as they had been too busy otherwise to "really think about it all", I'd had enough. I too have been at the end of my emotional rope.
After day two of this volatile display of emotion, I flat out told Bryce that if this is how he was going to be, then there was NO way he was going to be allowed to attend the Funeral. I said that this was NOT the way that we display our hurt. Especially not there.
And like I flipped a switch within him somehow, he stopped. Yes, he was still crying, but it was more of an "age appropriate" crying and being upset.
Kids with processing and sensory disorders deal with things so much differently than neurotypical children. What may not mean the end of the world to us, and seem quite trivial is equivalent to the world crashing down around them and that the sky is falling.
So when something such as the death of a close friend or family member occurs, their already shaky emotional and mental stability can indeed worsen. And a myriad of emotion can spill out all at once, and along with it come some not-so desired behaviors.
**Also as a side note, I would like to thank our cousin Tara. She was the ONLY one out of all the family that know of Bryce's problems to ask how Bryce was doing and handling HIS loss.
Now I can see indeed why I picked her as the God Parent of my kids. She truly is concerned for their welfare and never forgets to ask about them. Especially my son. Thank you Tara!**
Friday, March 4, 2011
Nevada..Maybe My State Next For Budget Cuts (Mental Health)
Mental Health Services. It is my son's lifeline. And mine. And my family's. Without them, God only knows what would have become of my child, our family, and my marriage. Because before they stepped in and began helping us almost five years ago, it was a sure thing that my marriage would have ended, my son would have indeed have been placed in a group home (or Psychiatric Ward for an indefinite period) and my family would NEVER have been the same.
I'd done most of my growing up as a child in California. But a few years after my mom's death and my dad remarrying, we all moved to the Carson City area of Nevada. To me, that is "back home" now. And it's where my heart is when I speak of "home".
But now, my "home" wants to damage those that still reside there. And that have mental health issues. Governor Brian Sandoval is proposing Budget cuts. And one area that would be GREATLY impacted is the Mental Health Services within the state's medical community.
Like for myself and my family, THOUSANDS in the state of Nevada depend on the funds to be there within the Mental Health area of medical care to be able to receive quality care, maintain their mental status, or greatly improve their mental state. Especially those suffering from Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia and other mentally incapacitating conditions, including ADHD/ADD and OCD.
Please, I urge you all who are reading this, to be sure to read one man's fight to not let Mental Health Aide get thrown to the proverbial wolves. He is a (former) Prison Guard in Nevada who suffers from Bipolar Disorder. And having access to Mental Heath doctors and (much) needed medications thanks to the funding being available to help those that were "down on their luck" and even living on the streets literally SAVED THIS MAN'S LIFE!
Nevada Mental Health Advocates Fear Budget Cuts
What is so very scary for me is that my state that I now reside in (Virginia) may very well be on the chopping block where Mental Health is concerned. And yes, I have in recent months indeed read that there have been "considerations" as to slash funding to those in need of Psychiatric help.
As a mother of a child who has been receiving services through Child and Family Services of Virginia for now almost five years, I cannot sit here and idly and quietly watch this possibility become a reality. My son is legally disabled thanks to all of the problems he has (genetically) acquired mentally. Thanks to his Case Manager, his Psychiatrist, various In-Home Therapists over the years, Summer Programs for kids like him and other services that are tailored to the needs of the mentally ill, my child, and thousands others in our state, as well as MILLIONS within the United States CAN and in fact DO have as close to a "normal" life as a neurotypical (one without mental disabilities) child has.
I'd done most of my growing up as a child in California. But a few years after my mom's death and my dad remarrying, we all moved to the Carson City area of Nevada. To me, that is "back home" now. And it's where my heart is when I speak of "home".
But now, my "home" wants to damage those that still reside there. And that have mental health issues. Governor Brian Sandoval is proposing Budget cuts. And one area that would be GREATLY impacted is the Mental Health Services within the state's medical community.
Like for myself and my family, THOUSANDS in the state of Nevada depend on the funds to be there within the Mental Health area of medical care to be able to receive quality care, maintain their mental status, or greatly improve their mental state. Especially those suffering from Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia and other mentally incapacitating conditions, including ADHD/ADD and OCD.
Please, I urge you all who are reading this, to be sure to read one man's fight to not let Mental Health Aide get thrown to the proverbial wolves. He is a (former) Prison Guard in Nevada who suffers from Bipolar Disorder. And having access to Mental Heath doctors and (much) needed medications thanks to the funding being available to help those that were "down on their luck" and even living on the streets literally SAVED THIS MAN'S LIFE!
Nevada Mental Health Advocates Fear Budget Cuts
What is so very scary for me is that my state that I now reside in (Virginia) may very well be on the chopping block where Mental Health is concerned. And yes, I have in recent months indeed read that there have been "considerations" as to slash funding to those in need of Psychiatric help.
As a mother of a child who has been receiving services through Child and Family Services of Virginia for now almost five years, I cannot sit here and idly and quietly watch this possibility become a reality. My son is legally disabled thanks to all of the problems he has (genetically) acquired mentally. Thanks to his Case Manager, his Psychiatrist, various In-Home Therapists over the years, Summer Programs for kids like him and other services that are tailored to the needs of the mentally ill, my child, and thousands others in our state, as well as MILLIONS within the United States CAN and in fact DO have as close to a "normal" life as a neurotypical (one without mental disabilities) child has.
Monday, February 28, 2011
So much for "cutting back" or "phasing out". (sad and disappointed)
The other day, I'd written a post about CUTTING BACK on my son's Seroquel to see if there was an ability to actually take him all the way off of it.
For the last few nights, I had him taking only 25 mg of the medication, instead of the 50, which he'd been dropped to for the last three weeks, from his top dose of 100 mg.
Sadly, those hopes of completely pulling Bryce off of the Seroquel have been dashed as of this morning.
There have been noticeable changes in his moods and behaviors. And this morning, it became extremely clear that the 25 mg was just not enough to stabilize him.
He has become belligerent, has been spewing "verbal venom" towards me and his sisters, and has gotten physically combative.
These are telltale signs that the 25 mg is just not enough to help him with his ability to have a calm discussion and not want to resort to violent tendencies.
I knew deep down that I shouldn't have gotten my hopes so high and so positive, it's like rainbows were shooting out my ass towards the thought and BELIEF that finally my child could be FREE of even just ONE drug flowing through his system as to help his brain have better control of its self, and Bryce of himself.
But then again, as a mother, how can I *not* at least TRY to be positive in the HOPES that something (for once) goes right for my child in the world of Mental Illness? Is it really too much to ask for some kind of peace for his ever-going mind?
For the last few nights, I had him taking only 25 mg of the medication, instead of the 50, which he'd been dropped to for the last three weeks, from his top dose of 100 mg.
Sadly, those hopes of completely pulling Bryce off of the Seroquel have been dashed as of this morning.
There have been noticeable changes in his moods and behaviors. And this morning, it became extremely clear that the 25 mg was just not enough to stabilize him.
He has become belligerent, has been spewing "verbal venom" towards me and his sisters, and has gotten physically combative.
These are telltale signs that the 25 mg is just not enough to help him with his ability to have a calm discussion and not want to resort to violent tendencies.
I knew deep down that I shouldn't have gotten my hopes so high and so positive, it's like rainbows were shooting out my ass towards the thought and BELIEF that finally my child could be FREE of even just ONE drug flowing through his system as to help his brain have better control of its self, and Bryce of himself.
But then again, as a mother, how can I *not* at least TRY to be positive in the HOPES that something (for once) goes right for my child in the world of Mental Illness? Is it really too much to ask for some kind of peace for his ever-going mind?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tardive Dyskinesia & Finally Being Heard
Bryce suffers from a medication-induced "tic disorder" called Tardive Dyskinesia. Basically, he has involuntary muscle movements of the mouth region and of his hands and/or feet. It is in close relation to another well-known neuro-muscular disorder, Tourette's Syndrome.
The following is provided by the site, TD Center.
Tardive Dyskinesia Symptoms
Those with tardive dyskinesia engage in repetitive, involuntary movements without purpose. These may consist of any or all of the following:
* Movement of the lips and tongue (grimacing, smacking, pursing, sticking out the tongue)
* Rapid blinking
* Impaired finger movement or "fluttering"
* Rapid movements of the arms
* Toe tapping, moving the leg up and down
* Twisting and bending of the torso (in extreme cases)
There are also other similar, but unrelated movement disorders which are sometimes mistaken for tardive dyskinesia:
* Dystonia: Dystonia is characterized by sustained muscular contractions which can result in the entire body twisting into abnormal and sometimes painful positions. It is usually congenital, but can occur as a result of injury, a bacterial infection, lead poisoning or drug side-effects. However, while most types of dystonia may pass, the tardive variety is usually irreversible.
* Akathisia: This particular condition manifests itself as a compulsive need to move about, driven by inner feelings of anxiety or even terror. This is sometimes related to symptoms of Parkinson's disease, but is most often caused by drugs that block dopamine receptors (dopamine being the neurotransmitter that carries instructions from the brain over the nervous system). Unfortunately, this condition is often misdiagnosed as a psychological problem, leading to the prescription of yet more drugs, thus exacerbating the problem.
* Tourettism: This is similar to Tourette's Syndrome, a set of tic disorders that range from facial jerks and spasms to sudden uncontrollable exclamations. In most cases, the only way to determine if such symptoms are indeed true Tourette's syndrome or related to tardive dyskinesia is to obtain a thorough medical examination and review of psychiatric history.
************************************************************
Bryce displays many of these "signs". But primarily severe mouth/tongue movements, finger touching and even constant pulling on his clothes. He does NOT even realize he is doing it. Sometimes his feet and toes go "wild" as well. Plus now his speech is being affected.
I have said to his Psychiatrist COUNTLESS times that there is MORE to the story than what is on the surface. Now that the tics are seemingly more prominent, as is also now again, more volatile and emotional outbursts, I'm thinking that there is a "volatile combination" at work in my kid...
One being medication-induced TD (tic disorder). The other is an undiscovered brain injury from a severe impact with the sharp corner of a bedpost when he was two years old, where NO tests were ran that I remember, even though I said I had NO idea if he passed out, seeing as I wasn't in that room when it happened.
I thought both of the kids were sleeping at the time. That is until Bryce came to the hall of the trailer bloody and screaming and crying. Then I noticed I saw SKULL showing through his forehead.
Since then, he started to "change" in to a violent, emotionally charged 'hellion'. Before then, he was sweet, gentle and most of the time very happy and loving ALL of the time.
Not to mention a fall where he had a concussion a few months prior to this, where he misstepped going in to the house at about 18 months old. That time, he hit the side of his head pretty forcefully, due to the direction he fell after his foot slipped.
So, after talking with his Case Manager at Child And Family Services, where he also goes for his Psychiatric appointments, and catching him up to speed about last night's conversation and plans with his doctor, his CM (Case Manager) is going to help me with researching Bryce's records from when he fell, and look more in to the possibility of a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and the possibility that most of his mental disorders were triggered by an underlying brain trauma.
And if need be, he said he will try and "sweet talk" the Psychiatrist in to FINALLY doing tests like an MRI or a CAT scan (if not even both) to see if there is scarring or any evidence from a possible brain injury that was overlooked all those years ago.
At least now, FINALLY, I am being heard. I'm not being passed off, or told that it's not a possible scenario. I'm just sorry it is taking THIS long to get somewhere. But at least now the gears are starting to turn and something, ANYTHING is being done.
The following is provided by the site, TD Center.
Tardive Dyskinesia Symptoms
Those with tardive dyskinesia engage in repetitive, involuntary movements without purpose. These may consist of any or all of the following:
* Movement of the lips and tongue (grimacing, smacking, pursing, sticking out the tongue)
* Rapid blinking
* Impaired finger movement or "fluttering"
* Rapid movements of the arms
* Toe tapping, moving the leg up and down
* Twisting and bending of the torso (in extreme cases)
There are also other similar, but unrelated movement disorders which are sometimes mistaken for tardive dyskinesia:
* Dystonia: Dystonia is characterized by sustained muscular contractions which can result in the entire body twisting into abnormal and sometimes painful positions. It is usually congenital, but can occur as a result of injury, a bacterial infection, lead poisoning or drug side-effects. However, while most types of dystonia may pass, the tardive variety is usually irreversible.
* Akathisia: This particular condition manifests itself as a compulsive need to move about, driven by inner feelings of anxiety or even terror. This is sometimes related to symptoms of Parkinson's disease, but is most often caused by drugs that block dopamine receptors (dopamine being the neurotransmitter that carries instructions from the brain over the nervous system). Unfortunately, this condition is often misdiagnosed as a psychological problem, leading to the prescription of yet more drugs, thus exacerbating the problem.
* Tourettism: This is similar to Tourette's Syndrome, a set of tic disorders that range from facial jerks and spasms to sudden uncontrollable exclamations. In most cases, the only way to determine if such symptoms are indeed true Tourette's syndrome or related to tardive dyskinesia is to obtain a thorough medical examination and review of psychiatric history.
************************************************************
Bryce displays many of these "signs". But primarily severe mouth/tongue movements, finger touching and even constant pulling on his clothes. He does NOT even realize he is doing it. Sometimes his feet and toes go "wild" as well. Plus now his speech is being affected.
I have said to his Psychiatrist COUNTLESS times that there is MORE to the story than what is on the surface. Now that the tics are seemingly more prominent, as is also now again, more volatile and emotional outbursts, I'm thinking that there is a "volatile combination" at work in my kid...
One being medication-induced TD (tic disorder). The other is an undiscovered brain injury from a severe impact with the sharp corner of a bedpost when he was two years old, where NO tests were ran that I remember, even though I said I had NO idea if he passed out, seeing as I wasn't in that room when it happened.
I thought both of the kids were sleeping at the time. That is until Bryce came to the hall of the trailer bloody and screaming and crying. Then I noticed I saw SKULL showing through his forehead.
Since then, he started to "change" in to a violent, emotionally charged 'hellion'. Before then, he was sweet, gentle and most of the time very happy and loving ALL of the time.
Not to mention a fall where he had a concussion a few months prior to this, where he misstepped going in to the house at about 18 months old. That time, he hit the side of his head pretty forcefully, due to the direction he fell after his foot slipped.
So, after talking with his Case Manager at Child And Family Services, where he also goes for his Psychiatric appointments, and catching him up to speed about last night's conversation and plans with his doctor, his CM (Case Manager) is going to help me with researching Bryce's records from when he fell, and look more in to the possibility of a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and the possibility that most of his mental disorders were triggered by an underlying brain trauma.
And if need be, he said he will try and "sweet talk" the Psychiatrist in to FINALLY doing tests like an MRI or a CAT scan (if not even both) to see if there is scarring or any evidence from a possible brain injury that was overlooked all those years ago.
At least now, FINALLY, I am being heard. I'm not being passed off, or told that it's not a possible scenario. I'm just sorry it is taking THIS long to get somewhere. But at least now the gears are starting to turn and something, ANYTHING is being done.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Monday, Monday..
Well, I can say it hasn't happened for a while. But when it does, it can be pretty bad. And yesterday was no exception to the rule.
There are days where Bryce just all out snaps. Like a proverbial twig. And it can happen at ANY moment, over even the most seemingly of mundane of things.
This happened to be over something his older sister had said and the fact he wasn't "first" for the computer. From there, it was all out war.
After he said what he did, which in turn made her cry as she hid in the bathroom (she is my first from a previous marriage), I said he owed her an apology, and that there would be no computer.
Then, finally he DID apologize but EXPECTED to still get computer time. Nope! So this again sent him over the edge. He started stomping, screaming at the top of his lungs, lashing out (literally) at his sisters (even though the youngest did NOTHING to him).
Finally his physically violent temper tantrum came to a head as he screamed bloody murder. That's when I had to use a technique that I haven't used in quite a while.
A bear hug. And believe me, for being so tiny looking, he is hell on wheels to hold when his mental state goes in to high gear like this.
It took me all I had to hold him from behind, as he struggled to break free of me as he squirmed, banged the back of his head at me and was kicking to get free.
As he kept on, I told him I REFUSED to let go until he stopped the screaming, crying, hitting and kicking. I have to be VERY specific of what I want from him in these times of "frustration".
After about three minutes of the hold (at least I think it was only three minutes, but who's counting?) Bryce had calmed down enough to let him go. But before I did, I again had to reiterate that he indeed was NOT getting computer time, and if he went in to a tangent again, that I again would INDEED place him in another bear hug.
Later on in the day, he said (being I was giving him a Vyvanse break for the day, but it does NOT control his mood and volatile side, just the problems with the ADHD like attention and focus) that being he did not have his medicine, that he lost his "control".
This has been an on-going battle/issue with us. Bryce has brought himself to believe that ONLY with his medication, can he "be a good boy", that it's NOT in HIS control to do so, but his medicines' control.
This scares me. A lot. And all of the time. I sound like a broken record at this point, when I tell him that it is NOT the medicines that make him have self control, but BRYCE (as in HIMSELF) that has the self control capability.
But his mind has been self-taught to BELIEVE that without the medicines, he is not in control of his own self, or is responsible for his negative actions, behaviors, thoughts or words.
So, now I'm at a crossroad. Which way do I turn? I highly suspect at this point, he is ADDICTED to at least one of his medicines. He can't seem to "live" without them now. And at nine years old, that is NOT a good sign to me.
We are to see his Psychiatrist on Friday. And I indeed plan on broaching this problem. I'm very tempted to start taking away the medications. At least temporarily. Even if it means committing him to do so, as to keep all involved safe, so that they can see what exact drug of the three is the root of the problem.
While the medications DO work and ARE helping (to a great extent), Bryce HAS TO realize that it is NOT the drugs' job to make him "be a good kid", but himself.
Sometimes, I wonder why him... And this is certainly one of those time.
There are days where Bryce just all out snaps. Like a proverbial twig. And it can happen at ANY moment, over even the most seemingly of mundane of things.
This happened to be over something his older sister had said and the fact he wasn't "first" for the computer. From there, it was all out war.
After he said what he did, which in turn made her cry as she hid in the bathroom (she is my first from a previous marriage), I said he owed her an apology, and that there would be no computer.
Then, finally he DID apologize but EXPECTED to still get computer time. Nope! So this again sent him over the edge. He started stomping, screaming at the top of his lungs, lashing out (literally) at his sisters (even though the youngest did NOTHING to him).
Finally his physically violent temper tantrum came to a head as he screamed bloody murder. That's when I had to use a technique that I haven't used in quite a while.
A bear hug. And believe me, for being so tiny looking, he is hell on wheels to hold when his mental state goes in to high gear like this.
It took me all I had to hold him from behind, as he struggled to break free of me as he squirmed, banged the back of his head at me and was kicking to get free.
As he kept on, I told him I REFUSED to let go until he stopped the screaming, crying, hitting and kicking. I have to be VERY specific of what I want from him in these times of "frustration".
After about three minutes of the hold (at least I think it was only three minutes, but who's counting?) Bryce had calmed down enough to let him go. But before I did, I again had to reiterate that he indeed was NOT getting computer time, and if he went in to a tangent again, that I again would INDEED place him in another bear hug.
Later on in the day, he said (being I was giving him a Vyvanse break for the day, but it does NOT control his mood and volatile side, just the problems with the ADHD like attention and focus) that being he did not have his medicine, that he lost his "control".
This has been an on-going battle/issue with us. Bryce has brought himself to believe that ONLY with his medication, can he "be a good boy", that it's NOT in HIS control to do so, but his medicines' control.
This scares me. A lot. And all of the time. I sound like a broken record at this point, when I tell him that it is NOT the medicines that make him have self control, but BRYCE (as in HIMSELF) that has the self control capability.
But his mind has been self-taught to BELIEVE that without the medicines, he is not in control of his own self, or is responsible for his negative actions, behaviors, thoughts or words.
So, now I'm at a crossroad. Which way do I turn? I highly suspect at this point, he is ADDICTED to at least one of his medicines. He can't seem to "live" without them now. And at nine years old, that is NOT a good sign to me.
We are to see his Psychiatrist on Friday. And I indeed plan on broaching this problem. I'm very tempted to start taking away the medications. At least temporarily. Even if it means committing him to do so, as to keep all involved safe, so that they can see what exact drug of the three is the root of the problem.
While the medications DO work and ARE helping (to a great extent), Bryce HAS TO realize that it is NOT the drugs' job to make him "be a good kid", but himself.
Sometimes, I wonder why him... And this is certainly one of those time.
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