Last night's trip to the mall was an embarrassment. Even Dad had a hard time with B. My oldest wanted to go to a few shops with her Christmas money. So we made it a (supposed to be) nice family outing. Dinner at Golden Corral and then the River Ridge Mall.
Even the restaurant thing kinda went downhill. But the mall trip was worse.
At the restaurant, he would barely sit in his seat, was boisterous and loud. He while in a happy mood at the time (which I AM thankful for) notably bothered certain surrounding customers with his "antics". It was almost like the viewing of things to come. And that was the MILD part of the evening.
Like I said, the mall was FAR worse.
He was running around, trying to get (way) too far ahead of us, walking BACKWARDS or spinning as we walked in the semi-crowded areas of the mall.
As we were ending our night in Sears, where we had initially parked, anyways, it was BAD. Constantly handling things, running in to and hiding in racks, running off and "escaping" down in to other areas of the general area that I was at.
It got so bad in Sears, that at one point, I grabbed him by his shirt collar and held on for dear life. Of course then I was "choking" him and he was almost yelling for me to let go. I am SOOO thankful that barely a customer was in that area.
He also tried to go out the "merchandise pick up" door just off from the girls/baby section. And of course, I stayed there with him and the older one, who was still shopping as Dad took the younger one to use the toilet.
I honest cannot say what got in to him to be so freaking high strung. But good Lord, I was sure that someone was gonna call CPS on me for "man handling" my kid as a means to corral him.
Oh! And he almost knocked over a couple of displays or hit people as he walked backwards AND spinning. Both in Sears and in the mall area its self.
It was just a washout of an evening. All thanks to one kid and his actions. What was meant to be a NICE family outing, turned in to a chaotic nightmare for all (as in the two sisters and myself and Dad).
*Vent over*
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Showing posts with label self control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self control. Show all posts
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Spring Break I can see will be breaking me.
I can only afford to do so much with the kids. It's not like I'm rich or something, ya know.
And having a child that can't seem to sit still or NOT not be doing something can pose quite the challenge for a mom who has her kids home for a week on Spring Break. And if you think I'm going to be nuts by the end of this week, just you all wait for Summer Vacation.
So far, I have planned to take the kids up to the school at least twice, once at the end of the week to meet up with some of my mommy-friends from my daughter's Kindergarten class. Of course siblings will be there, too, for a picnic/play date.
And being that we have a $1.50 theater, where movies about to go to Blu-Ray and DVD are viewed one last time in the theater. Of course, with cheap admission, comes overly priced popcorn, drinks and candy goodies. But it's worth it. We want to see "Gnomeo And Juliet".
Also, thanks to having a local Minor League Baseball Team, the Lynchburg Hillcats, I would like to try and take the kids for one or two home games. We love going to see the team play. And you never know when the team mascot, Southpaw will come over and give the kids a high-five or a hug. Or dance.
Add in that Bryce (and his sisters accordingly) love to play out in the back yard and ride their bikes, they will have something to always do, as long as the weather holds, of course.
But still, keeping an ADHD child busy can be serious business sometimes. This week isn't for sitting on my laurels and relaxing. It's housework, keeping kids in line and busy in one way or another, and having some serious fun.
Now, off to do the dishes, start laundry and clean our Bearded Dragon's cage.
And having a child that can't seem to sit still or NOT not be doing something can pose quite the challenge for a mom who has her kids home for a week on Spring Break. And if you think I'm going to be nuts by the end of this week, just you all wait for Summer Vacation.
So far, I have planned to take the kids up to the school at least twice, once at the end of the week to meet up with some of my mommy-friends from my daughter's Kindergarten class. Of course siblings will be there, too, for a picnic/play date.
And being that we have a $1.50 theater, where movies about to go to Blu-Ray and DVD are viewed one last time in the theater. Of course, with cheap admission, comes overly priced popcorn, drinks and candy goodies. But it's worth it. We want to see "Gnomeo And Juliet".
Also, thanks to having a local Minor League Baseball Team, the Lynchburg Hillcats, I would like to try and take the kids for one or two home games. We love going to see the team play. And you never know when the team mascot, Southpaw will come over and give the kids a high-five or a hug. Or dance.
Add in that Bryce (and his sisters accordingly) love to play out in the back yard and ride their bikes, they will have something to always do, as long as the weather holds, of course.
But still, keeping an ADHD child busy can be serious business sometimes. This week isn't for sitting on my laurels and relaxing. It's housework, keeping kids in line and busy in one way or another, and having some serious fun.
Now, off to do the dishes, start laundry and clean our Bearded Dragon's cage.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Children Like Mine Grieve Differently
My son isn't completely your "average, ordinary" kid. Sure, he does what most kids do in regards to playing outside, playing video games, watching goofy TV shows and other "normal" kid things.
But much of that is on a lower age level then those of his peers. Though he is finally out of the stage of still wanting to watch Playhouse Disney and the Srpout Channel (which he did up until the age of 8 years old).
Three years ago, two of my kids (Bryce and his older sister) got their first "taste" of real life, and the fact that we don't live forever and that those that we love will die one day.
Back then, I only took Hayley (the oldest) with us to the Funeral services. It was her first time seeing a person who passed away laying in state. For the most part, under the circumstances, she did quite well.
Now, tomorrow she will witness the burial of her Great-Grandfather, whom she was quite fond of. And so was Bryce. He will be now attending his first Funeral service.
With him, we have been preparing him for WEEKS of the impending death of their "Big Papa". Yes, there were lots of questions. My husband and I answered best as we could.
Sunday night is when Scott's grandfather passed. And while the two older ones were shook up and in a state of denile and shock, they took it better than I thought that they would.
The next morning though, is when all of that changed. And overnight, my son had changed. I guess from all the pent up grief from the night before.
While most children his age would just fall apart, crying and either go off to be alone or wish to be held as they began their grieving process, Bryce was "showing himself" in a way I had not seen in a very long time.
You see, one of his problems is a processing disorder. His brain doesn't take emotional overload very well, or sensory messages that are too great or too many to deal with at once. And this is apparently what had happened.
And the end result was a nine-year-old boy throwing, hitting, screaming, yelling and crying all at once. It was a classic Manic Episode in full form. Only this time unlike most others, I knew where this one was stemming from. Normally they just "hit" without real warning or cause. While indeed, it was without warning, I was able to figure out the cause pretty fast.
I'd chalked it up to the grief of what we told him the night before just all spilling out at once. But then, it happened on the next morning as well. While I still figured it was the grieving coming out, seeing as they had been too busy otherwise to "really think about it all", I'd had enough. I too have been at the end of my emotional rope.
After day two of this volatile display of emotion, I flat out told Bryce that if this is how he was going to be, then there was NO way he was going to be allowed to attend the Funeral. I said that this was NOT the way that we display our hurt. Especially not there.
And like I flipped a switch within him somehow, he stopped. Yes, he was still crying, but it was more of an "age appropriate" crying and being upset.
Kids with processing and sensory disorders deal with things so much differently than neurotypical children. What may not mean the end of the world to us, and seem quite trivial is equivalent to the world crashing down around them and that the sky is falling.
So when something such as the death of a close friend or family member occurs, their already shaky emotional and mental stability can indeed worsen. And a myriad of emotion can spill out all at once, and along with it come some not-so desired behaviors.
**Also as a side note, I would like to thank our cousin Tara. She was the ONLY one out of all the family that know of Bryce's problems to ask how Bryce was doing and handling HIS loss.
Now I can see indeed why I picked her as the God Parent of my kids. She truly is concerned for their welfare and never forgets to ask about them. Especially my son. Thank you Tara!**
But much of that is on a lower age level then those of his peers. Though he is finally out of the stage of still wanting to watch Playhouse Disney and the Srpout Channel (which he did up until the age of 8 years old).
Three years ago, two of my kids (Bryce and his older sister) got their first "taste" of real life, and the fact that we don't live forever and that those that we love will die one day.
Back then, I only took Hayley (the oldest) with us to the Funeral services. It was her first time seeing a person who passed away laying in state. For the most part, under the circumstances, she did quite well.
Now, tomorrow she will witness the burial of her Great-Grandfather, whom she was quite fond of. And so was Bryce. He will be now attending his first Funeral service.
With him, we have been preparing him for WEEKS of the impending death of their "Big Papa". Yes, there were lots of questions. My husband and I answered best as we could.
Sunday night is when Scott's grandfather passed. And while the two older ones were shook up and in a state of denile and shock, they took it better than I thought that they would.
The next morning though, is when all of that changed. And overnight, my son had changed. I guess from all the pent up grief from the night before.
While most children his age would just fall apart, crying and either go off to be alone or wish to be held as they began their grieving process, Bryce was "showing himself" in a way I had not seen in a very long time.
You see, one of his problems is a processing disorder. His brain doesn't take emotional overload very well, or sensory messages that are too great or too many to deal with at once. And this is apparently what had happened.
And the end result was a nine-year-old boy throwing, hitting, screaming, yelling and crying all at once. It was a classic Manic Episode in full form. Only this time unlike most others, I knew where this one was stemming from. Normally they just "hit" without real warning or cause. While indeed, it was without warning, I was able to figure out the cause pretty fast.
I'd chalked it up to the grief of what we told him the night before just all spilling out at once. But then, it happened on the next morning as well. While I still figured it was the grieving coming out, seeing as they had been too busy otherwise to "really think about it all", I'd had enough. I too have been at the end of my emotional rope.
After day two of this volatile display of emotion, I flat out told Bryce that if this is how he was going to be, then there was NO way he was going to be allowed to attend the Funeral. I said that this was NOT the way that we display our hurt. Especially not there.
And like I flipped a switch within him somehow, he stopped. Yes, he was still crying, but it was more of an "age appropriate" crying and being upset.
Kids with processing and sensory disorders deal with things so much differently than neurotypical children. What may not mean the end of the world to us, and seem quite trivial is equivalent to the world crashing down around them and that the sky is falling.
So when something such as the death of a close friend or family member occurs, their already shaky emotional and mental stability can indeed worsen. And a myriad of emotion can spill out all at once, and along with it come some not-so desired behaviors.
**Also as a side note, I would like to thank our cousin Tara. She was the ONLY one out of all the family that know of Bryce's problems to ask how Bryce was doing and handling HIS loss.
Now I can see indeed why I picked her as the God Parent of my kids. She truly is concerned for their welfare and never forgets to ask about them. Especially my son. Thank you Tara!**
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Monday, Monday..
Well, I can say it hasn't happened for a while. But when it does, it can be pretty bad. And yesterday was no exception to the rule.
There are days where Bryce just all out snaps. Like a proverbial twig. And it can happen at ANY moment, over even the most seemingly of mundane of things.
This happened to be over something his older sister had said and the fact he wasn't "first" for the computer. From there, it was all out war.
After he said what he did, which in turn made her cry as she hid in the bathroom (she is my first from a previous marriage), I said he owed her an apology, and that there would be no computer.
Then, finally he DID apologize but EXPECTED to still get computer time. Nope! So this again sent him over the edge. He started stomping, screaming at the top of his lungs, lashing out (literally) at his sisters (even though the youngest did NOTHING to him).
Finally his physically violent temper tantrum came to a head as he screamed bloody murder. That's when I had to use a technique that I haven't used in quite a while.
A bear hug. And believe me, for being so tiny looking, he is hell on wheels to hold when his mental state goes in to high gear like this.
It took me all I had to hold him from behind, as he struggled to break free of me as he squirmed, banged the back of his head at me and was kicking to get free.
As he kept on, I told him I REFUSED to let go until he stopped the screaming, crying, hitting and kicking. I have to be VERY specific of what I want from him in these times of "frustration".
After about three minutes of the hold (at least I think it was only three minutes, but who's counting?) Bryce had calmed down enough to let him go. But before I did, I again had to reiterate that he indeed was NOT getting computer time, and if he went in to a tangent again, that I again would INDEED place him in another bear hug.
Later on in the day, he said (being I was giving him a Vyvanse break for the day, but it does NOT control his mood and volatile side, just the problems with the ADHD like attention and focus) that being he did not have his medicine, that he lost his "control".
This has been an on-going battle/issue with us. Bryce has brought himself to believe that ONLY with his medication, can he "be a good boy", that it's NOT in HIS control to do so, but his medicines' control.
This scares me. A lot. And all of the time. I sound like a broken record at this point, when I tell him that it is NOT the medicines that make him have self control, but BRYCE (as in HIMSELF) that has the self control capability.
But his mind has been self-taught to BELIEVE that without the medicines, he is not in control of his own self, or is responsible for his negative actions, behaviors, thoughts or words.
So, now I'm at a crossroad. Which way do I turn? I highly suspect at this point, he is ADDICTED to at least one of his medicines. He can't seem to "live" without them now. And at nine years old, that is NOT a good sign to me.
We are to see his Psychiatrist on Friday. And I indeed plan on broaching this problem. I'm very tempted to start taking away the medications. At least temporarily. Even if it means committing him to do so, as to keep all involved safe, so that they can see what exact drug of the three is the root of the problem.
While the medications DO work and ARE helping (to a great extent), Bryce HAS TO realize that it is NOT the drugs' job to make him "be a good kid", but himself.
Sometimes, I wonder why him... And this is certainly one of those time.
There are days where Bryce just all out snaps. Like a proverbial twig. And it can happen at ANY moment, over even the most seemingly of mundane of things.
This happened to be over something his older sister had said and the fact he wasn't "first" for the computer. From there, it was all out war.
After he said what he did, which in turn made her cry as she hid in the bathroom (she is my first from a previous marriage), I said he owed her an apology, and that there would be no computer.
Then, finally he DID apologize but EXPECTED to still get computer time. Nope! So this again sent him over the edge. He started stomping, screaming at the top of his lungs, lashing out (literally) at his sisters (even though the youngest did NOTHING to him).
Finally his physically violent temper tantrum came to a head as he screamed bloody murder. That's when I had to use a technique that I haven't used in quite a while.
A bear hug. And believe me, for being so tiny looking, he is hell on wheels to hold when his mental state goes in to high gear like this.
It took me all I had to hold him from behind, as he struggled to break free of me as he squirmed, banged the back of his head at me and was kicking to get free.
As he kept on, I told him I REFUSED to let go until he stopped the screaming, crying, hitting and kicking. I have to be VERY specific of what I want from him in these times of "frustration".
After about three minutes of the hold (at least I think it was only three minutes, but who's counting?) Bryce had calmed down enough to let him go. But before I did, I again had to reiterate that he indeed was NOT getting computer time, and if he went in to a tangent again, that I again would INDEED place him in another bear hug.
Later on in the day, he said (being I was giving him a Vyvanse break for the day, but it does NOT control his mood and volatile side, just the problems with the ADHD like attention and focus) that being he did not have his medicine, that he lost his "control".
This has been an on-going battle/issue with us. Bryce has brought himself to believe that ONLY with his medication, can he "be a good boy", that it's NOT in HIS control to do so, but his medicines' control.
This scares me. A lot. And all of the time. I sound like a broken record at this point, when I tell him that it is NOT the medicines that make him have self control, but BRYCE (as in HIMSELF) that has the self control capability.
But his mind has been self-taught to BELIEVE that without the medicines, he is not in control of his own self, or is responsible for his negative actions, behaviors, thoughts or words.
So, now I'm at a crossroad. Which way do I turn? I highly suspect at this point, he is ADDICTED to at least one of his medicines. He can't seem to "live" without them now. And at nine years old, that is NOT a good sign to me.
We are to see his Psychiatrist on Friday. And I indeed plan on broaching this problem. I'm very tempted to start taking away the medications. At least temporarily. Even if it means committing him to do so, as to keep all involved safe, so that they can see what exact drug of the three is the root of the problem.
While the medications DO work and ARE helping (to a great extent), Bryce HAS TO realize that it is NOT the drugs' job to make him "be a good kid", but himself.
Sometimes, I wonder why him... And this is certainly one of those time.
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