Schoolward Bound. Fifth Grade, Here He Comes!!

This past week we are about to leave, and the one that is coming upon us has been and will be fairly busy. It's back to school time. And I think that ALL of us are ready. For the most part, anyways.

This week was filled with filling out paperwork, taking in paperwork to be filled out by Medical Professionals, a doctor appointment and school supply shopping.

Geez! Just thinking of what I just listed, I'm tired all over again! *hehe* (=

This coming week, it's REGISTRATION time! And this means now, TWO different schools for three different kids. My oldest is moving on to Middle School.

B is in fifth grade this year. And thankfully, I was able to place him in with my oldest's former homeroom teacher, who is the ONLY one of the three in their grade to be Special Education certified.

It also helps that she taught my HUSBAND when he was a kid at another school, for the third grade. And she started LAST school year to acclimate him by saying good morning to him, giving him his "morning hug" (their classrooms were next to one another at the time between the two grades). And she already has gotten an idea of what his needs will be with classroom placement and what will possibly work best to get the best ability out of his potential.

She runs a pretty tight ship. You do as expected, she is your BFF. You decide to make her life hell and not do as instructed, then your ass is grass. And he needs that kind of firm structure. And she is already on to his manipulations. BONUS!

Do I worry? Yep! But not as much as I have with the teachers of the past in regards to B. This lady is one of the best in her field. And one of the most patient and kind. But also one of the most strict and not able to be bamboozled, too.

I'll more so worry NEXT year, then I will THIS year. Because there is a VERY good chance that B and his older sister will NOT be in the same Middle School, being she was accepted in to a school across town that takes those that are highly advanced/gifted. If she is able to remain there next school year (2012-2013), then he will be in our Zone School for Middle School all on his own.

Yes, he too is advanced in most areas of study. But he doesn't have the work ethic and focus for a Gifted Program. Thanks to his emotional instability, lack of maturity, and his severe ADHD it takes him out of the running for advancement such as what his sister is in. And it hurts me. But at the same time, I can safely say that a setting such as that is clearly not for him.

Should I compare? No. But it is extremely hard to NOT see the difference versus the similarities.

You sometimes, I feel, HAVE TO compare the "odd one out" to the others because it forces you to see just how different the one with the problems truly is from most of society. It makes you step back and think a little more and be more compassionate, understanding and willing to have more patience. Not just with YOUR child with Silent Disabilities, but other children (and adults) with the same afflictions as well.

So, here is to (hopefully) smooth sailing for this school year. In just over a week, and then all three are off on another school-year adventure of learning and fun. But this year, it will be minus their big sister. And I think they will do just fine.

I have decided to take a Blogging Hiatus for the Summer.

Due to different factors, including, but not limited to the fact that my readership is apparently down, and the time I take to piece some of these together (mainly on one of my other blogs), I think this is the best option for me at this time.

There's chance that I will post once in a while while on this hiatus. But I am looking for this to be once in a blue moon, of sorts. I have a lot on my plate. And I feel that I must remove some of my "activities", with Blogging being one of them. And quite possibly, using Twitter, as well.

I'm hopeful that you all will understand. But it's time to put my family, Summer activities (if any) and above all things, MYSELF first, above the Blogosphere.

Thanks for understanding. And I'll see ya around, my friends.

P.S. ~ I plan on posting this in all four of my pages.

PYHO Wednesday With Shell.

It is time again for another harrowing episode of...Oh wait! This isn't a Daytime Drama. Then again, it IS "my" drama". Oh hell! Just know I am about to Pour My Heart Out with Shell over at Things I Can't Say.



*REMEMBER FOLKS!*

This Meme/Blog Carnival for many of us is an outlet. Especially for those of us that need a "safe haven" to vent in, away from those that would more wish to hurt us more, than to lend understanding and support. So, if you CANNOT say anything constructively if you DISAGREE, then I suggest you move on. Because believe you me, if Angel over at A Tall Drink Of Sweet Tea catches that you have been bad on the PYHO posts, it is HER that you will be answering to, via her "Flaming Redhead" Vlog.

Now onward...

Bryce had been "pre-authorized" via his insurance to be "Partially Hospitalized" for attending the Day Treatment Summer program this year. So, after playing the game "I wonder if she is EVER going to call" with the Case Manager (CM), I called HER and got the lovely line about how she was GOING TO call me "today". In other words she got caught with her pants down for dropping the proverbial ball.

We decided that I go over to the office to sign the paperwork on Thursday of last week. Now mind you, I had to be outside in the heat a majority of that day at school for their Field Day activities. Plus my husband worked an odd schedule from the norm, by working that day as well. So yes, to go in to the nice, air conditioned office across town later that day completely slipped my mind..All the way through until Sunday.

Today is Wednesday. And I guess that I will be (once again) the one to call HER about coming in TOMORROW for certain (on my husband's actual day off each week) to sign the papers as to officially let Bryce start on Monday at the camp.

You would think that seeing as the lady who is new to her profession of being a CM. would CALL and ensure that all is okay because we had missed an appointment to sign paperwork. Yes, I should have probably called her on Tuesday (being Monday was a holiday). But the last I heard, she gets PAID to do her job of MAKING CALLS to her various clients to check on them (at least) once a month.

What do you want to bet that when I call in about an hour, that she will use the line (again) about her planning on calling me later today. Whatever, lady!

I hate how my kid and the other kids under the care of these Case Managers get bounced around like a ball from one CM to another. They get used to a certain person. Some of them take a good while to get anywhere close to the person who has become the norm in their lives. Suddenly and most of the time, without warning, that CM is "taken away and replaced" with a new CM that the poor kid has to adjust to.

Personally, I find it sadly mishandled in that area. These kids THRIVE on stability, routine and closeness with those that they deem "fit" to be a part of their world.

I can understand getting promoted (as his last CM did). But to switch them as to "rotate" them with the clients of the agency? C'mon!

Oh, and I have YET to even hear a peep from the dumb woman in regards to trying to get Bryce back in to In-Home Therapy, which then YES, would switch him to a QUALIFIED in-home therapist and behavior specialist. I strongly feel it's time again. Needless to say, I bet you two to one, the bitch never "staffed" it with her boss, yet. Wouldn't surprise me in the least at this point.

Spring Break...And Teacher Not Returning. Blog Hop LINK-UP, too!

Bryce told me on the way home from getting his sister from her track meet yesterday that after today, his Homeroom Teacher will not be returning.

She is nine months pregnant. Her first baby. And she is due on Bryce's old due date (how cool is that??). He's a bit bummed by it, but understands. Although I'm worried for the Substitute Teacher about to fill in after we get back from Spring Break, which is all of next week.

There's not much we can do next week, but maybe take them to Putt-Putt Mini Golf and maybe a picnic lunch at the school playground once or twice. And of course, on the beautiful days, it's going to be VERY little DS playing, and MUCH more OUTSIDE playing for all three brats.

Do you have a Spring Break coming up, had it, or don't get one?

And be sure to link your blog up (BELOW) and have a GREAT Friday! I will..I'll be with the wee ones in Kindergarten having fun egg hunting and having a "Spring Party" (gotta be PC, ya know!).

He "Graduated"!! (Of Sorts)

Yesterday, Bryce had another medicine check appointment. But with his NEW (again) Case Manager tagging along.

We went through the usual jargon. How do I feel the levels are, how's he doing at home and at school. And how are the mood swings and yadda yadda.

After everything was hashed out like about the Accommodations problems with the school and about more Behavior Modifications at home and at school, and about upcoming Day Treatment Camp for the Summer, it was time to leave.

After I had picked up all THREE months worth of prescriptions (which to me felt funny), I said "so when are we coming back?". Well, my jaw hit the floor and I went bug eyed when I heard...

"Not for another three MONTHS (unless an emergency arises)".

This will be the longest length EVER for Bryce to be in between appointments. And this is a GOOD thing, seeing as it shows significant progress in his behaviors, struggles with his ODD, ADHD and his Mood Disorder. And it's a good sign that means the levels of dosages for his medications are right where they need to be.

So all in all, it was a pretty good appointment. I honestly could not ask for a better Psychiatrist for my son or other patients under his (the doctor's, of course) care. That man GENUINELY cares about the welfare of his pediatric patients AND their family unit (from siblings to the parents). And he NEVER disses an idea you give or gets huffy for saying "no" to a treatment or dosage change. He knows YOU are the parent and that indeed YOU as the parent, know YOUR child best.

Lesson Learned

You would think that after this already happening LAST Monday, that we would have learned from the mistake..WRONG!

Seems that *I* have now, as of this morning. And thankfully, I was able to squash the problem BEFORE it became a REALLY BIG problem (like last Monday).

Just as we had last Sunday, we took the kids out to breakfast and of course, took Bryce's Vyvanse (ADHD med) with us to give to him after he ate some food. It CAN be taken with or without food. But I like to have him eat before taking the pill.

And now, just like last weekend, it seems that Scott and I left it where it will do no good. Last week, it was in the van's glove compartment. This week? In Scott's jacket pocket.

OOPSIES!!!

But, unlike LAST Monday, this Monday (today) Bryce can get his pill from the School Nurse.

And now, I have thought to myself after realizing the faux pas for the second straight Monday in a row, that from NOW, ON... Bryce will have to just take his Vyvanse without food BEFORE we leave the house to take them anywhere, if it is in the morning hours.

Lesson learned. And hopefully problem avoided in the future.

Children Like Mine Grieve Differently

My son isn't completely your "average, ordinary" kid. Sure, he does what most kids do in regards to playing outside, playing video games, watching goofy TV shows and other "normal" kid things.

But much of that is on a lower age level then those of his peers. Though he is finally out of the stage of still wanting to watch Playhouse Disney and the Srpout Channel (which he did up until the age of 8 years old).

Three years ago, two of my kids (Bryce and his older sister) got their first "taste" of real life, and the fact that we don't live forever and that those that we love will die one day.

Back then, I only took Hayley (the oldest) with us to the Funeral services. It was her first time seeing a person who passed away laying in state. For the most part, under the circumstances, she did quite well.

Now, tomorrow she will witness the burial of her Great-Grandfather, whom she was quite fond of. And so was Bryce. He will be now attending his first Funeral service.

With him, we have been preparing him for WEEKS of the impending death of their "Big Papa". Yes, there were lots of questions. My husband and I answered best as we could.

Sunday night is when Scott's grandfather passed. And while the two older ones were shook up and in a state of denile and shock, they took it better than I thought that they would.

The next morning though, is when all of that changed. And overnight, my son had changed. I guess from all the pent up grief from the night before.

While most children his age would just fall apart, crying and either go off to be alone or wish to be held as they began their grieving process, Bryce was "showing himself" in a way I had not seen in a very long time.

You see, one of his problems is a processing disorder. His brain doesn't take emotional overload very well, or sensory messages that are too great or too many to deal with at once. And this is apparently what had happened.

And the end result was a nine-year-old boy throwing, hitting, screaming, yelling and crying all at once. It was a classic Manic Episode in full form. Only this time unlike most others, I knew where this one was stemming from. Normally they just "hit" without real warning or cause. While indeed, it was without warning, I was able to figure out the cause pretty fast.

I'd chalked it up to the grief of what we told him the night before just all spilling out at once. But then, it happened on the next morning as well. While I still figured it was the grieving coming out, seeing as they had been too busy otherwise to "really think about it all", I'd had enough. I too have been at the end of my emotional rope.

After day two of this volatile display of emotion, I flat out told Bryce that if this is how he was going to be, then there was NO way he was going to be allowed to attend the Funeral. I said that this was NOT the way that we display our hurt. Especially not there.

And like I flipped a switch within him somehow, he stopped. Yes, he was still crying, but it was more of an "age appropriate" crying and being upset.

Kids with processing and sensory disorders deal with things so much differently than neurotypical children. What may not mean the end of the world to us, and seem quite trivial is equivalent to the world crashing down around them and that the sky is falling.

So when something such as the death of a close friend or family member occurs, their already shaky emotional and mental stability can indeed worsen. And a myriad of emotion can spill out all at once, and along with it come some not-so desired behaviors.

**Also as a side note, I would like to thank our cousin Tara. She was the ONLY one out of all the family that know of Bryce's problems to ask how Bryce was doing and handling HIS loss.

Now I can see indeed why I picked her as the God Parent of my kids. She truly is concerned for their welfare and never forgets to ask about them. Especially my son. Thank you Tara!**

Nevada..Maybe My State Next For Budget Cuts (Mental Health)

Mental Health Services. It is my son's lifeline. And mine. And my family's. Without them, God only knows what would have become of my child, our family, and my marriage. Because before they stepped in and began helping us almost five years ago, it was a sure thing that my marriage would have ended, my son would have indeed have been placed in a group home (or Psychiatric Ward for an indefinite period) and my family would NEVER have been the same.

I'd done most of my growing up as a child in California. But a few years after my mom's death and my dad remarrying, we all moved to the Carson City area of Nevada. To me, that is "back home" now. And it's where my heart is when I speak of "home".

But now, my "home" wants to damage those that still reside there. And that have mental health issues. Governor Brian Sandoval is proposing Budget cuts. And one area that would be GREATLY impacted is the Mental Health Services within the state's medical community.

Like for myself and my family, THOUSANDS in the state of Nevada depend on the funds to be there within the Mental Health area of medical care to be able to receive quality care, maintain their mental status, or greatly improve their mental state. Especially those suffering from Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia and other mentally incapacitating conditions, including ADHD/ADD and OCD.

Please, I urge you all who are reading this, to be sure to read one man's fight to not let Mental Health Aide get thrown to the proverbial wolves. He is a (former) Prison Guard in Nevada who suffers from Bipolar Disorder. And having access to Mental Heath doctors and (much) needed medications thanks to the funding being available to help those that were "down on their luck" and even living on the streets literally SAVED THIS MAN'S LIFE!

Nevada Mental Health Advocates Fear Budget Cuts

What is so very scary for me is that my state that I now reside in (Virginia) may very well be on the chopping block where Mental Health is concerned. And yes, I have in recent months indeed read that there have been "considerations" as to slash funding to those in need of Psychiatric help.

As a mother of a child who has been receiving services through Child and Family Services of Virginia for now almost five years, I cannot sit here and idly and quietly watch this possibility become a reality. My son is legally disabled thanks to all of the problems he has (genetically) acquired mentally. Thanks to his Case Manager, his Psychiatrist, various In-Home Therapists over the years, Summer Programs for kids like him and other services that are tailored to the needs of the mentally ill, my child, and thousands others in our state, as well as MILLIONS within the United States CAN and in fact DO have as close to a "normal" life as a neurotypical (one without mental disabilities) child has.

So much for "cutting back" or "phasing out". (sad and disappointed)

The other day, I'd written a post about CUTTING BACK on my son's Seroquel to see if there was an ability to actually take him all the way off of it.

For the last few nights, I had him taking only 25 mg of the medication, instead of the 50, which he'd been dropped to for the last three weeks, from his top dose of 100 mg.

Sadly, those hopes of completely pulling Bryce off of the Seroquel have been dashed as of this morning.

There have been noticeable changes in his moods and behaviors. And this morning, it became extremely clear that the 25 mg was just not enough to stabilize him.

He has become belligerent, has been spewing "verbal venom" towards me and his sisters, and has gotten physically combative.

These are telltale signs that the 25 mg is just not enough to help him with his ability to have a calm discussion and not want to resort to violent tendencies.

I knew deep down that I shouldn't have gotten my hopes so high and so positive, it's like rainbows were shooting out my ass towards the thought and BELIEF that finally my child could be FREE of even just ONE drug flowing through his system as to help his brain have better control of its self, and Bryce of himself.

But then again, as a mother, how can I *not* at least TRY to be positive in the HOPES that something (for once) goes right for my child in the world of Mental Illness? Is it really too much to ask for some kind of peace for his ever-going mind?

Cutting Back

Once again, we are scaling back one of B.'s medications. One I'm in high hopes of phasing out altogether. To me, less is more, if at all possible. And I'm hoping in doing so, it helps curb the Tardive Dyskinesia (Tic Disorder that is usually medication-induced with Psychiatric Drug Therapy) as well.

So far, we've gone from 150 of Seroquel (mood controller and sleep aid), down to 100 mg dose. Then over the last several weeks, went down to a 50 mg dose. As of a couple of nights ago, we have now brought the amount down to 25 mg per night.

His other medications (Vyvanse and Intuniv) will remain the same, though. During the Summer Vacation time, we might try to next scale back the Vyvanse to see what happens.

Some people would say that it's "about time" that I stop "doping" my kid up for MY gain and ease of parenting. But I say to them... You don't live our life as a family, or as I as his parent, so YOU have NO room to judge or condemn me or parents like me with kids in the same situations.

True, most of these drugs that treat mental disorders can have some pretty harsh side effects. No doubt about it. But SOMETIMES, you must take the chance of the side effects as to "balance out" what is imbalanced in their minds and give these kids the BEST possible shot at a "normal" life as they can potentially have.

These medications have been known to SAVE the lives of these kids, and save the lives of those around them. Especially in times of being in severe volatile states of emotion and action. I personally in the past have had my son come at me with scissors, knives and hammers. He would tell me in explicit detail of how he was going to kill me.

Then, just like that, the rage was over and he honestly could not remember (most times) what he had said and done. What kind of life is that for a CHILD? This is why he has been on SOME KIND of medication or other since the age of six years old.

So while I have high hopes for completely getting my child off AT LEAST one (if not maybe even two) medications, I will always have it in the back of my mind that there is a very distinct possibility that again, he will HAVE TO go back on them. For his sake, my sake, and the family's sake. And for all of our safety.

Psychological Effects From A Robbery

On Saturday, February 12th, my home was broken in to. Thankfully, none of us were home at the time of the robbery. I don't care about the money that was taken. And even if more than money was stolen, I wouldn't care about that either. What I DO care about is the psychological effects that it has had on my three children. Especially my son.

Both of the girls are handling things okay. For the most part. They get a little more antsy and jumpy if Dad has to work a late shift. But my son is worried, jumpy and scared of WHEN IT DOES, not IF it happens again.

Now any and every little bump or creak, primarily at night has him practically jumping out of bed (and his skin), begging for the answer to "what was THAT?!?".

In his little mind, which was already in a CONSTANT speed of thought before the robbery took place is now constantly thinking of WHEN IT DOES happen again and has been hatching different "plans of action" for if it happens if we happen to be home, and without Dad around.

It's bad enough he has an Anxiety Disorder. But this makes it a bit worse with his already-constant worrying.

It's no secret in my home that I have young children. Not with books, toys and pictures strewn all over the place on shelves, table tops and in boxes.

Instead of the person thinking about the FACT of there being SMALL children in the victim's home, they ONLY thought of themselves, the money, and the DRUGS that they were wanting to score.

The perp(s) not only rifled through MY bedroom, the living room, and even my laundry room, but also through my daughter's purse (thankfully she had her money on her that night) and both of the kid's bedrooms looking for money.

They did NOT just violate me, my psyche and my things. They violated my children! Now all three of them are worried of there being a next time. Though the girls are dealing with it much better. Sure Bryce could be A LOT worse with his anxiety level being even higher than normal. But it's worse enough.

They took away my children's innocence, security, safety and psychological ease when they took the money.

And now, the Walgreen's up the street the other night was robbed. ONLY OF MONEY. Strange. My husband and I strongly wonder if by chance the guy that was arrested for that was OUR robber as well. Being that in BOTH places, he only wanted cash. And in BOTH places, there are some "good" prescription drugs that he COULD HAVE taken to get high with, but did NOT. Only wanted the cash both at the Drug Store and here in my house. And he is built like a man that could have kicked my kitchen door in, that was BOLT locked, only to tear one side of the door frame clean off.

Do the math. If it DOES happen to be him, heck yes, I'm pressing charges. And not JUST for robbery.

So far, so good..

It's now been a week since we have decided to cut Bryce back on his Seroquel. But only night five last night of doing so, seeing as my pill cutter went missing.

The Seroquel is for helping with mood stabilization and to help him fall as well as stay asleep. But we also strongly believe that this is the medication that is causing the Tardive Dyskinesia also.

So, for the next three weeks, we are only giving him 50 mg. instead of 100..Before then it was 150. If all goes well, then I will again knock it down, but to 25 mg. at night.

The only real problem that I am seeing with the weaning-off process is that Bryce is having a harder time FALLING asleep. But once he is out, it's for the entire night. That alone is a feat in it's own right.

I've also noted though on the other hand a difference between him taking and NOT taking his Vyvanse for the ADHD..When he does have a done, at some point during the day once the medicine has kicked in, his oral movements (tics) become prominent. So, instead of calming the tics, it seems that the Vyvanse is actually "showing off" the tics more. And the doctor said that it may well be the case.

But when I do skip a dose of the Vyvanse, then Bryce's tics, while there, are not nearly as visible. If anything, unless you have a "trained eye" to look for them and take note, then they are to the point of subtlety that they are practically invisible to the naked eye.

I guess all in all, things are looking up. I'm trying to get him off at least one medication. But if need be, later on, depending on any possible violent tendencies or severe mood swings, we may have to place him back on a third medication. It just won't be the Seroquel.

Gotta love the "Medication Merry-Go-Round"!