If You Are A Parent Who is Being *Abused* By Your Kids...

First of all, know you aren't alone with being physically ABUSED... yes, abused, by your child. I have been verbally, emotionally abused, assaulted and my life threatened. All by my child.

It had taken me a long time to accept the fact that I was being abused by my own child. When you are left with marks or scars because of your children's actions, or you have things pulled out on you (like knives, hammers and scissors), and have your very LIFE IT'S SELF *threatened* and/or in jeopardy, that is constituted by law as ABUSE. Even if it's by a minor child.

As for medications (no matter the reason for taking them), if you have stopped them, YES, you have to let the doctor know. Tell them exactly why you did it. They have to know for various reasons. That goes for ANY doctors that have taken charge of taking care of your child medically! They base what is being taken as to if they can use other meds for other reasons as to ensure that there isn't any deadly mixings/cross medicatings.

If your child is getting so out of hand, no matter if just at home, both there and at school, or both of them AND within community settings (restaurants, the store, etc.), that behavior modifications (like a reward system and punishment system) are not working, then it MAY BE time to start thinking about ADD/ADHD (if they have it, too) medications and even Mood Stabilizers (like the Seroquel that B is on).

As for DENIAL that something is truly wrong with our kids, and the fact that they need more help than we can give on our own, we ALL go through it. Especially us moms of children such as ours. But also, you have to look at it from THEIR perspective, too.

Our kids do NOT want to be "bad" kids who are different in that view of them. All in all, they ARE *good* kids, but have brains that are hardwired completely different from their peers and from most other people in general.

Medications for the mentally unstable, for KIDS, has gotten SO many bad "reports". Mainly from those that have NEVER even tried them, and are unwilling to try them for their children as a part of their overall therapy.

True, not every child NEEDS to be medicated. But, most of the time, the ones that NEED it, don't get it, and the ones that DON'T need it, are the ones being "doped up".

In the end, the ONLY ones that can determine for certain that your child needs medications that will help with their mental issues is you, the doctor in charge of your child's care (Psychiatrist) and the child (more so their overall mental state).

Yes, I know that dealing with the agencies and doctors, and therapists CAN be a pain in the butt, in the end, it makes life SO much easier, when what SHOULD HAVE ALREADY been done IS being done.

Easier for them and their day-to-day life, and for US as their parents as well.

Head Games

I'm still on my "hiatus", but needed to come here to vent and let off a bit of steam.

All of last week, while B was getting up and going to Day Camp with the Behavior Therapists from where he gets his mental health treatment, everything was great. It was a REALLY good week for him all the way around. Both there and at home.

Somewhere along the line, on Sunday though, it all changed. I can't say as to why, when during the day, or how. But B spiraled out of control.

There were no problems at church (first time back in about two years, almost) during Sunday School or Sermon. It was starting as we had to wait for my husband to get us (has poison oak and didn't want to share). Smart answered, yelling at me, walking off, non-compliant.

It only got worse from there. At home. Picking on his little sister. Yelling at her and at my husband. Kicking things, tossing things or knocking them to the floor.

Then Monday comes around. One problem for yesterday was he was out of his Vyvanse (had his last pill Sunday before church). But he was pretty good in the morning, getting up, dressing, calm and pretty manageable. Even with the bus being almost 40 minutes late.

By 2:00 in came he dreaded call. What he did Sunday, he did at camp on Monday, too. I let her know that he can't get any Vyvanse until this morning and that Sunday was JUST as bad, WITH the medicine.

Last night after he got home, about 3:00 and on until he had to go to bed early, was no picnic either. Same crap, different time of the day.

Why do I always get my hopes up? Why do I always think "hey, it's getting better, let's hope it stays that way", only for this shit to happen within HOURS of saying it. It's as if I jinx or curse myself EVERY single time. Because as soon as I see and verbally note a POSITIVE turn around, he reverts back to the same-old-same-old.

By evening, I just wanted to go off somewhere alone and cry my eyeballs out, scream, hit something...anything. I'm tired of this roller coaster with my kid. I have two others that need me to attend to them, too. But when B gets like this, ALL the attention is put on him as to ensure everyone (and everything, including animals) are safe from his wrath and destructive patterns.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the diseases. I'm sick of his mood and personality changes..I don't PMS as hard as this boy seemingly does! I'm sick of others "handling" my kid, when it's MY job, but basically am NOT allowed to "correct" theirs. I'm tired of family that just doesn't seem to get it, that NO amount of "spanking" will make him "shape up". I'm just sick of ALL of it. And sometimes, all of them...And him.

If that makes me a bad person or mother, then oh well. At least I haven't walked out on him or my family over it all. Most people would. I can't. I won't, no matter how much at times I wish I could just toss my hands up and say "I'm DONE!".

Yes, Celebs To Can Have Mental Illnesses

Everyone is human that walks on two legs and speaks a language. This includes high profile politicos, those in the music business, athletes, and entertainers.

Entertainers such as Catherine Zeta-Jones included. She has Bipolar II Disorder.

Differences in Bipolar I and Bipolar II are...

Bipolar Type 1

The type 1 bipolar disorder is characterized based on the occurrence of at least one manic episode, with or without the occurrence of a major depressive episode. The mania in this diagnosis is full-blown. This abnormality would usually last for a week at the very least. But there are cases that the bipolar patient is required to be confined for more than a week if hospitalized.

Symptoms of this type include the following:

* Self-esteem is high and the patient possesses a great deal of confidence.

* Ambitious attitude is apparent in this state.

* There is the feeling of sleeplessness.

* The patient tends to talk excessively.

* The patient has a tendency to think more than the usual.

The danger of this type is that the patient may hallucinate, losing his grasp of reality. In some cases of bipolar type 1, the patient is diagnosed as psychotic. In some books about bipolar disorder, bipolar type 1 is also called the "raging" bipolar.

Bipolar Type 2

The bipolar type 2 disorder is characterized by the occurrence of at least one hypomania episode and one major depressive state. Sometimes, this type may even have occurrences of more depressive episodes.

In some cases, hypomania actually enables the individual to excel in their fields of expertise. The state of hypomania can be apparent in people that are top achievers in the work environment and at parties. The symptoms in hypomania are mostly positive and may run for about four days before it subsides.

Though its manifestation is obvious and can be observed clearly by other people, the "swinging" bipolar (as it is aptly called) doesn't cause any disruption in normal functional settings. It doesn't cause any hospitalization to a hyperactive person and doesn't have psychotic tendencies.

Article Source: Ezine Articles


And yes, as such is the case with Catherine Zeta-Jones, stress can play a factor in the Bipolar patient's stability and ability to control their disorder, and function at more normal levels.

To read the full article about CZJ and her treatment, CLICK HERE.

I Ripped In To The (Substitute) School Nurse.

I honestly didn't mean to. And it was out of anger more than anything, as well as being tired of the "same shit, different day" call.

Yes, it IS true that Bryce did NOT have his Vyvanse this morning. And no, the school has no more of his "back up" pills on stand by. Yes, his not getting his ADHD med this morning was/is MY fault (and his dad's) because we accidentally left it in the glove compartment after taking it with us on an outing yesterday morning.

After speaking both with the (sub) school nurse and with Bryce himself as to what was going on with his "screaming and yelling fit" (which he claims he was NOT acting out), I honestly cannot say at this point who is telling me the truth between him and his teacher.

Why yes I did say that his teacher MAY be *lying*. Because if my son has ANY type of fit (be it mild or otherwise), they call me and AUTOMATICALLY assume that Bryce didn't have his ADHD medicine and will proceed to ask if indeed he did have it or not. In which case, he IS medicated (at home) about 98% of the time.

Also note, that I have told them time and time again, like a damned broken ass record, that it is *NOT* the Vyvanse that controls his mood swings. The Seroquel is used for that issue. And even then, it will not 100% curb them.

Plus add in the fact (and yes it IS indeed listed on his paperwork in the school files, as are ALL of his mental health problems/issues) that he has Sensory Processing issues. And guess what? THAT may very well be the ACTUAL culprit at hand as to why he *supposedly* acted out and had a meltdown.

The Master Gardners Association is at the school this morning and apparently there is A LOT of people in the cafeteria for this, with A LOT of different noises, sights and voices all going at one time. That amounts to WAY TOO MUCH for Bryce to take in all at one time.

No medication will help that! NOTHING. That is a sensory issue with the brain that NO drug will "help". I'm sick of my kids' school thinking that ANY "mental health medication" will be the CURE ALL as to help the teachers and school staff to "handle" these kids. The damn pills are NOT the complete answer, nor is it the ONLY way to "help" these kids meet their FULLEST potential.

WORKING WITH THEM, be it one-on-one or in groups within the classrooms, ALONG WITH the "aid" of the medications is the "cure all" to helping children with various mentally incapacitating disorders/disabilities. Not just to "drug them up" as to SHUT THEM UP.

If I could I would at least pull Bryce out of the Public Schools system and either place him in a Private School setting or even better yet, Home School. But I refuse to Home School for various reasons. One is the patience factor and the point that at some point, I would not have the knowledge to keep going with teaching.

This school has known of ALL of his problems since day one. And legally he DOES meet the requirements for Specialized Services. But their excuses of not complying with the law is that his Academic scores, which meet or even exceed standards for his grade level do not "permit" him to have even simple Requests for Adjustments met. Like isolation for test-taking or even having the help of Day Treatment for times like what *supposedly* happened today.

Now, I am even closer to, if not actually ready to contact the offices of the Disability Rights Advocacy Group in Richmond, Virginia. My son and I have been bullied and passed up long enough.

Children Like Mine Grieve Differently

My son isn't completely your "average, ordinary" kid. Sure, he does what most kids do in regards to playing outside, playing video games, watching goofy TV shows and other "normal" kid things.

But much of that is on a lower age level then those of his peers. Though he is finally out of the stage of still wanting to watch Playhouse Disney and the Srpout Channel (which he did up until the age of 8 years old).

Three years ago, two of my kids (Bryce and his older sister) got their first "taste" of real life, and the fact that we don't live forever and that those that we love will die one day.

Back then, I only took Hayley (the oldest) with us to the Funeral services. It was her first time seeing a person who passed away laying in state. For the most part, under the circumstances, she did quite well.

Now, tomorrow she will witness the burial of her Great-Grandfather, whom she was quite fond of. And so was Bryce. He will be now attending his first Funeral service.

With him, we have been preparing him for WEEKS of the impending death of their "Big Papa". Yes, there were lots of questions. My husband and I answered best as we could.

Sunday night is when Scott's grandfather passed. And while the two older ones were shook up and in a state of denile and shock, they took it better than I thought that they would.

The next morning though, is when all of that changed. And overnight, my son had changed. I guess from all the pent up grief from the night before.

While most children his age would just fall apart, crying and either go off to be alone or wish to be held as they began their grieving process, Bryce was "showing himself" in a way I had not seen in a very long time.

You see, one of his problems is a processing disorder. His brain doesn't take emotional overload very well, or sensory messages that are too great or too many to deal with at once. And this is apparently what had happened.

And the end result was a nine-year-old boy throwing, hitting, screaming, yelling and crying all at once. It was a classic Manic Episode in full form. Only this time unlike most others, I knew where this one was stemming from. Normally they just "hit" without real warning or cause. While indeed, it was without warning, I was able to figure out the cause pretty fast.

I'd chalked it up to the grief of what we told him the night before just all spilling out at once. But then, it happened on the next morning as well. While I still figured it was the grieving coming out, seeing as they had been too busy otherwise to "really think about it all", I'd had enough. I too have been at the end of my emotional rope.

After day two of this volatile display of emotion, I flat out told Bryce that if this is how he was going to be, then there was NO way he was going to be allowed to attend the Funeral. I said that this was NOT the way that we display our hurt. Especially not there.

And like I flipped a switch within him somehow, he stopped. Yes, he was still crying, but it was more of an "age appropriate" crying and being upset.

Kids with processing and sensory disorders deal with things so much differently than neurotypical children. What may not mean the end of the world to us, and seem quite trivial is equivalent to the world crashing down around them and that the sky is falling.

So when something such as the death of a close friend or family member occurs, their already shaky emotional and mental stability can indeed worsen. And a myriad of emotion can spill out all at once, and along with it come some not-so desired behaviors.

**Also as a side note, I would like to thank our cousin Tara. She was the ONLY one out of all the family that know of Bryce's problems to ask how Bryce was doing and handling HIS loss.

Now I can see indeed why I picked her as the God Parent of my kids. She truly is concerned for their welfare and never forgets to ask about them. Especially my son. Thank you Tara!**

Monday, Monday..

Well, I can say it hasn't happened for a while. But when it does, it can be pretty bad. And yesterday was no exception to the rule.

There are days where Bryce just all out snaps. Like a proverbial twig. And it can happen at ANY moment, over even the most seemingly of mundane of things.

This happened to be over something his older sister had said and the fact he wasn't "first" for the computer. From there, it was all out war.

After he said what he did, which in turn made her cry as she hid in the bathroom (she is my first from a previous marriage), I said he owed her an apology, and that there would be no computer.

Then, finally he DID apologize but EXPECTED to still get computer time. Nope! So this again sent him over the edge. He started stomping, screaming at the top of his lungs, lashing out (literally) at his sisters (even though the youngest did NOTHING to him).

Finally his physically violent temper tantrum came to a head as he screamed bloody murder. That's when I had to use a technique that I haven't used in quite a while.

A bear hug. And believe me, for being so tiny looking, he is hell on wheels to hold when his mental state goes in to high gear like this.

It took me all I had to hold him from behind, as he struggled to break free of me as he squirmed, banged the back of his head at me and was kicking to get free.

As he kept on, I told him I REFUSED to let go until he stopped the screaming, crying, hitting and kicking. I have to be VERY specific of what I want from him in these times of "frustration".

After about three minutes of the hold (at least I think it was only three minutes, but who's counting?) Bryce had calmed down enough to let him go. But before I did, I again had to reiterate that he indeed was NOT getting computer time, and if he went in to a tangent again, that I again would INDEED place him in another bear hug.

Later on in the day, he said (being I was giving him a Vyvanse break for the day, but it does NOT control his mood and volatile side, just the problems with the ADHD like attention and focus) that being he did not have his medicine, that he lost his "control".

This has been an on-going battle/issue with us. Bryce has brought himself to believe that ONLY with his medication, can he "be a good boy", that it's NOT in HIS control to do so, but his medicines' control.

This scares me. A lot. And all of the time. I sound like a broken record at this point, when I tell him that it is NOT the medicines that make him have self control, but BRYCE (as in HIMSELF) that has the self control capability.

But his mind has been self-taught to BELIEVE that without the medicines, he is not in control of his own self, or is responsible for his negative actions, behaviors, thoughts or words.

So, now I'm at a crossroad. Which way do I turn? I highly suspect at this point, he is ADDICTED to at least one of his medicines. He can't seem to "live" without them now. And at nine years old, that is NOT a good sign to me.

We are to see his Psychiatrist on Friday. And I indeed plan on broaching this problem. I'm very tempted to start taking away the medications. At least temporarily. Even if it means committing him to do so, as to keep all involved safe, so that they can see what exact drug of the three is the root of the problem.

While the medications DO work and ARE helping (to a great extent), Bryce HAS TO realize that it is NOT the drugs' job to make him "be a good kid", but himself.

Sometimes, I wonder why him... And this is certainly one of those time.