The other day, I'd written a post about CUTTING BACK on my son's Seroquel to see if there was an ability to actually take him all the way off of it.
For the last few nights, I had him taking only 25 mg of the medication, instead of the 50, which he'd been dropped to for the last three weeks, from his top dose of 100 mg.
Sadly, those hopes of completely pulling Bryce off of the Seroquel have been dashed as of this morning.
There have been noticeable changes in his moods and behaviors. And this morning, it became extremely clear that the 25 mg was just not enough to stabilize him.
He has become belligerent, has been spewing "verbal venom" towards me and his sisters, and has gotten physically combative.
These are telltale signs that the 25 mg is just not enough to help him with his ability to have a calm discussion and not want to resort to violent tendencies.
I knew deep down that I shouldn't have gotten my hopes so high and so positive, it's like rainbows were shooting out my ass towards the thought and BELIEF that finally my child could be FREE of even just ONE drug flowing through his system as to help his brain have better control of its self, and Bryce of himself.
But then again, as a mother, how can I *not* at least TRY to be positive in the HOPES that something (for once) goes right for my child in the world of Mental Illness? Is it really too much to ask for some kind of peace for his ever-going mind?
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Showing posts with label violent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label violent. Show all posts
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Psychological Effects From A Robbery
On Saturday, February 12th, my home was broken in to. Thankfully, none of us were home at the time of the robbery. I don't care about the money that was taken. And even if more than money was stolen, I wouldn't care about that either. What I DO care about is the psychological effects that it has had on my three children. Especially my son.
Both of the girls are handling things okay. For the most part. They get a little more antsy and jumpy if Dad has to work a late shift. But my son is worried, jumpy and scared of WHEN IT DOES, not IF it happens again.
Now any and every little bump or creak, primarily at night has him practically jumping out of bed (and his skin), begging for the answer to "what was THAT?!?".
In his little mind, which was already in a CONSTANT speed of thought before the robbery took place is now constantly thinking of WHEN IT DOES happen again and has been hatching different "plans of action" for if it happens if we happen to be home, and without Dad around.
It's bad enough he has an Anxiety Disorder. But this makes it a bit worse with his already-constant worrying.
It's no secret in my home that I have young children. Not with books, toys and pictures strewn all over the place on shelves, table tops and in boxes.
Instead of the person thinking about the FACT of there being SMALL children in the victim's home, they ONLY thought of themselves, the money, and the DRUGS that they were wanting to score.
The perp(s) not only rifled through MY bedroom, the living room, and even my laundry room, but also through my daughter's purse (thankfully she had her money on her that night) and both of the kid's bedrooms looking for money.
They did NOT just violate me, my psyche and my things. They violated my children! Now all three of them are worried of there being a next time. Though the girls are dealing with it much better. Sure Bryce could be A LOT worse with his anxiety level being even higher than normal. But it's worse enough.
They took away my children's innocence, security, safety and psychological ease when they took the money.
And now, the Walgreen's up the street the other night was robbed. ONLY OF MONEY. Strange. My husband and I strongly wonder if by chance the guy that was arrested for that was OUR robber as well. Being that in BOTH places, he only wanted cash. And in BOTH places, there are some "good" prescription drugs that he COULD HAVE taken to get high with, but did NOT. Only wanted the cash both at the Drug Store and here in my house. And he is built like a man that could have kicked my kitchen door in, that was BOLT locked, only to tear one side of the door frame clean off.
Do the math. If it DOES happen to be him, heck yes, I'm pressing charges. And not JUST for robbery.
Both of the girls are handling things okay. For the most part. They get a little more antsy and jumpy if Dad has to work a late shift. But my son is worried, jumpy and scared of WHEN IT DOES, not IF it happens again.
Now any and every little bump or creak, primarily at night has him practically jumping out of bed (and his skin), begging for the answer to "what was THAT?!?".
In his little mind, which was already in a CONSTANT speed of thought before the robbery took place is now constantly thinking of WHEN IT DOES happen again and has been hatching different "plans of action" for if it happens if we happen to be home, and without Dad around.
It's bad enough he has an Anxiety Disorder. But this makes it a bit worse with his already-constant worrying.
It's no secret in my home that I have young children. Not with books, toys and pictures strewn all over the place on shelves, table tops and in boxes.
Instead of the person thinking about the FACT of there being SMALL children in the victim's home, they ONLY thought of themselves, the money, and the DRUGS that they were wanting to score.
The perp(s) not only rifled through MY bedroom, the living room, and even my laundry room, but also through my daughter's purse (thankfully she had her money on her that night) and both of the kid's bedrooms looking for money.
They did NOT just violate me, my psyche and my things. They violated my children! Now all three of them are worried of there being a next time. Though the girls are dealing with it much better. Sure Bryce could be A LOT worse with his anxiety level being even higher than normal. But it's worse enough.
They took away my children's innocence, security, safety and psychological ease when they took the money.
And now, the Walgreen's up the street the other night was robbed. ONLY OF MONEY. Strange. My husband and I strongly wonder if by chance the guy that was arrested for that was OUR robber as well. Being that in BOTH places, he only wanted cash. And in BOTH places, there are some "good" prescription drugs that he COULD HAVE taken to get high with, but did NOT. Only wanted the cash both at the Drug Store and here in my house. And he is built like a man that could have kicked my kitchen door in, that was BOLT locked, only to tear one side of the door frame clean off.
Do the math. If it DOES happen to be him, heck yes, I'm pressing charges. And not JUST for robbery.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tardive Dyskinesia & Finally Being Heard
Bryce suffers from a medication-induced "tic disorder" called Tardive Dyskinesia. Basically, he has involuntary muscle movements of the mouth region and of his hands and/or feet. It is in close relation to another well-known neuro-muscular disorder, Tourette's Syndrome.
The following is provided by the site, TD Center.
Tardive Dyskinesia Symptoms
Those with tardive dyskinesia engage in repetitive, involuntary movements without purpose. These may consist of any or all of the following:
* Movement of the lips and tongue (grimacing, smacking, pursing, sticking out the tongue)
* Rapid blinking
* Impaired finger movement or "fluttering"
* Rapid movements of the arms
* Toe tapping, moving the leg up and down
* Twisting and bending of the torso (in extreme cases)
There are also other similar, but unrelated movement disorders which are sometimes mistaken for tardive dyskinesia:
* Dystonia: Dystonia is characterized by sustained muscular contractions which can result in the entire body twisting into abnormal and sometimes painful positions. It is usually congenital, but can occur as a result of injury, a bacterial infection, lead poisoning or drug side-effects. However, while most types of dystonia may pass, the tardive variety is usually irreversible.
* Akathisia: This particular condition manifests itself as a compulsive need to move about, driven by inner feelings of anxiety or even terror. This is sometimes related to symptoms of Parkinson's disease, but is most often caused by drugs that block dopamine receptors (dopamine being the neurotransmitter that carries instructions from the brain over the nervous system). Unfortunately, this condition is often misdiagnosed as a psychological problem, leading to the prescription of yet more drugs, thus exacerbating the problem.
* Tourettism: This is similar to Tourette's Syndrome, a set of tic disorders that range from facial jerks and spasms to sudden uncontrollable exclamations. In most cases, the only way to determine if such symptoms are indeed true Tourette's syndrome or related to tardive dyskinesia is to obtain a thorough medical examination and review of psychiatric history.
************************************************************
Bryce displays many of these "signs". But primarily severe mouth/tongue movements, finger touching and even constant pulling on his clothes. He does NOT even realize he is doing it. Sometimes his feet and toes go "wild" as well. Plus now his speech is being affected.
I have said to his Psychiatrist COUNTLESS times that there is MORE to the story than what is on the surface. Now that the tics are seemingly more prominent, as is also now again, more volatile and emotional outbursts, I'm thinking that there is a "volatile combination" at work in my kid...
One being medication-induced TD (tic disorder). The other is an undiscovered brain injury from a severe impact with the sharp corner of a bedpost when he was two years old, where NO tests were ran that I remember, even though I said I had NO idea if he passed out, seeing as I wasn't in that room when it happened.
I thought both of the kids were sleeping at the time. That is until Bryce came to the hall of the trailer bloody and screaming and crying. Then I noticed I saw SKULL showing through his forehead.
Since then, he started to "change" in to a violent, emotionally charged 'hellion'. Before then, he was sweet, gentle and most of the time very happy and loving ALL of the time.
Not to mention a fall where he had a concussion a few months prior to this, where he misstepped going in to the house at about 18 months old. That time, he hit the side of his head pretty forcefully, due to the direction he fell after his foot slipped.
So, after talking with his Case Manager at Child And Family Services, where he also goes for his Psychiatric appointments, and catching him up to speed about last night's conversation and plans with his doctor, his CM (Case Manager) is going to help me with researching Bryce's records from when he fell, and look more in to the possibility of a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and the possibility that most of his mental disorders were triggered by an underlying brain trauma.
And if need be, he said he will try and "sweet talk" the Psychiatrist in to FINALLY doing tests like an MRI or a CAT scan (if not even both) to see if there is scarring or any evidence from a possible brain injury that was overlooked all those years ago.
At least now, FINALLY, I am being heard. I'm not being passed off, or told that it's not a possible scenario. I'm just sorry it is taking THIS long to get somewhere. But at least now the gears are starting to turn and something, ANYTHING is being done.
The following is provided by the site, TD Center.
Tardive Dyskinesia Symptoms
Those with tardive dyskinesia engage in repetitive, involuntary movements without purpose. These may consist of any or all of the following:
* Movement of the lips and tongue (grimacing, smacking, pursing, sticking out the tongue)
* Rapid blinking
* Impaired finger movement or "fluttering"
* Rapid movements of the arms
* Toe tapping, moving the leg up and down
* Twisting and bending of the torso (in extreme cases)
There are also other similar, but unrelated movement disorders which are sometimes mistaken for tardive dyskinesia:
* Dystonia: Dystonia is characterized by sustained muscular contractions which can result in the entire body twisting into abnormal and sometimes painful positions. It is usually congenital, but can occur as a result of injury, a bacterial infection, lead poisoning or drug side-effects. However, while most types of dystonia may pass, the tardive variety is usually irreversible.
* Akathisia: This particular condition manifests itself as a compulsive need to move about, driven by inner feelings of anxiety or even terror. This is sometimes related to symptoms of Parkinson's disease, but is most often caused by drugs that block dopamine receptors (dopamine being the neurotransmitter that carries instructions from the brain over the nervous system). Unfortunately, this condition is often misdiagnosed as a psychological problem, leading to the prescription of yet more drugs, thus exacerbating the problem.
* Tourettism: This is similar to Tourette's Syndrome, a set of tic disorders that range from facial jerks and spasms to sudden uncontrollable exclamations. In most cases, the only way to determine if such symptoms are indeed true Tourette's syndrome or related to tardive dyskinesia is to obtain a thorough medical examination and review of psychiatric history.
************************************************************
Bryce displays many of these "signs". But primarily severe mouth/tongue movements, finger touching and even constant pulling on his clothes. He does NOT even realize he is doing it. Sometimes his feet and toes go "wild" as well. Plus now his speech is being affected.
I have said to his Psychiatrist COUNTLESS times that there is MORE to the story than what is on the surface. Now that the tics are seemingly more prominent, as is also now again, more volatile and emotional outbursts, I'm thinking that there is a "volatile combination" at work in my kid...
One being medication-induced TD (tic disorder). The other is an undiscovered brain injury from a severe impact with the sharp corner of a bedpost when he was two years old, where NO tests were ran that I remember, even though I said I had NO idea if he passed out, seeing as I wasn't in that room when it happened.
I thought both of the kids were sleeping at the time. That is until Bryce came to the hall of the trailer bloody and screaming and crying. Then I noticed I saw SKULL showing through his forehead.
Since then, he started to "change" in to a violent, emotionally charged 'hellion'. Before then, he was sweet, gentle and most of the time very happy and loving ALL of the time.
Not to mention a fall where he had a concussion a few months prior to this, where he misstepped going in to the house at about 18 months old. That time, he hit the side of his head pretty forcefully, due to the direction he fell after his foot slipped.
So, after talking with his Case Manager at Child And Family Services, where he also goes for his Psychiatric appointments, and catching him up to speed about last night's conversation and plans with his doctor, his CM (Case Manager) is going to help me with researching Bryce's records from when he fell, and look more in to the possibility of a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and the possibility that most of his mental disorders were triggered by an underlying brain trauma.
And if need be, he said he will try and "sweet talk" the Psychiatrist in to FINALLY doing tests like an MRI or a CAT scan (if not even both) to see if there is scarring or any evidence from a possible brain injury that was overlooked all those years ago.
At least now, FINALLY, I am being heard. I'm not being passed off, or told that it's not a possible scenario. I'm just sorry it is taking THIS long to get somewhere. But at least now the gears are starting to turn and something, ANYTHING is being done.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Monday, Monday..
Well, I can say it hasn't happened for a while. But when it does, it can be pretty bad. And yesterday was no exception to the rule.
There are days where Bryce just all out snaps. Like a proverbial twig. And it can happen at ANY moment, over even the most seemingly of mundane of things.
This happened to be over something his older sister had said and the fact he wasn't "first" for the computer. From there, it was all out war.
After he said what he did, which in turn made her cry as she hid in the bathroom (she is my first from a previous marriage), I said he owed her an apology, and that there would be no computer.
Then, finally he DID apologize but EXPECTED to still get computer time. Nope! So this again sent him over the edge. He started stomping, screaming at the top of his lungs, lashing out (literally) at his sisters (even though the youngest did NOTHING to him).
Finally his physically violent temper tantrum came to a head as he screamed bloody murder. That's when I had to use a technique that I haven't used in quite a while.
A bear hug. And believe me, for being so tiny looking, he is hell on wheels to hold when his mental state goes in to high gear like this.
It took me all I had to hold him from behind, as he struggled to break free of me as he squirmed, banged the back of his head at me and was kicking to get free.
As he kept on, I told him I REFUSED to let go until he stopped the screaming, crying, hitting and kicking. I have to be VERY specific of what I want from him in these times of "frustration".
After about three minutes of the hold (at least I think it was only three minutes, but who's counting?) Bryce had calmed down enough to let him go. But before I did, I again had to reiterate that he indeed was NOT getting computer time, and if he went in to a tangent again, that I again would INDEED place him in another bear hug.
Later on in the day, he said (being I was giving him a Vyvanse break for the day, but it does NOT control his mood and volatile side, just the problems with the ADHD like attention and focus) that being he did not have his medicine, that he lost his "control".
This has been an on-going battle/issue with us. Bryce has brought himself to believe that ONLY with his medication, can he "be a good boy", that it's NOT in HIS control to do so, but his medicines' control.
This scares me. A lot. And all of the time. I sound like a broken record at this point, when I tell him that it is NOT the medicines that make him have self control, but BRYCE (as in HIMSELF) that has the self control capability.
But his mind has been self-taught to BELIEVE that without the medicines, he is not in control of his own self, or is responsible for his negative actions, behaviors, thoughts or words.
So, now I'm at a crossroad. Which way do I turn? I highly suspect at this point, he is ADDICTED to at least one of his medicines. He can't seem to "live" without them now. And at nine years old, that is NOT a good sign to me.
We are to see his Psychiatrist on Friday. And I indeed plan on broaching this problem. I'm very tempted to start taking away the medications. At least temporarily. Even if it means committing him to do so, as to keep all involved safe, so that they can see what exact drug of the three is the root of the problem.
While the medications DO work and ARE helping (to a great extent), Bryce HAS TO realize that it is NOT the drugs' job to make him "be a good kid", but himself.
Sometimes, I wonder why him... And this is certainly one of those time.
There are days where Bryce just all out snaps. Like a proverbial twig. And it can happen at ANY moment, over even the most seemingly of mundane of things.
This happened to be over something his older sister had said and the fact he wasn't "first" for the computer. From there, it was all out war.
After he said what he did, which in turn made her cry as she hid in the bathroom (she is my first from a previous marriage), I said he owed her an apology, and that there would be no computer.
Then, finally he DID apologize but EXPECTED to still get computer time. Nope! So this again sent him over the edge. He started stomping, screaming at the top of his lungs, lashing out (literally) at his sisters (even though the youngest did NOTHING to him).
Finally his physically violent temper tantrum came to a head as he screamed bloody murder. That's when I had to use a technique that I haven't used in quite a while.
A bear hug. And believe me, for being so tiny looking, he is hell on wheels to hold when his mental state goes in to high gear like this.
It took me all I had to hold him from behind, as he struggled to break free of me as he squirmed, banged the back of his head at me and was kicking to get free.
As he kept on, I told him I REFUSED to let go until he stopped the screaming, crying, hitting and kicking. I have to be VERY specific of what I want from him in these times of "frustration".
After about three minutes of the hold (at least I think it was only three minutes, but who's counting?) Bryce had calmed down enough to let him go. But before I did, I again had to reiterate that he indeed was NOT getting computer time, and if he went in to a tangent again, that I again would INDEED place him in another bear hug.
Later on in the day, he said (being I was giving him a Vyvanse break for the day, but it does NOT control his mood and volatile side, just the problems with the ADHD like attention and focus) that being he did not have his medicine, that he lost his "control".
This has been an on-going battle/issue with us. Bryce has brought himself to believe that ONLY with his medication, can he "be a good boy", that it's NOT in HIS control to do so, but his medicines' control.
This scares me. A lot. And all of the time. I sound like a broken record at this point, when I tell him that it is NOT the medicines that make him have self control, but BRYCE (as in HIMSELF) that has the self control capability.
But his mind has been self-taught to BELIEVE that without the medicines, he is not in control of his own self, or is responsible for his negative actions, behaviors, thoughts or words.
So, now I'm at a crossroad. Which way do I turn? I highly suspect at this point, he is ADDICTED to at least one of his medicines. He can't seem to "live" without them now. And at nine years old, that is NOT a good sign to me.
We are to see his Psychiatrist on Friday. And I indeed plan on broaching this problem. I'm very tempted to start taking away the medications. At least temporarily. Even if it means committing him to do so, as to keep all involved safe, so that they can see what exact drug of the three is the root of the problem.
While the medications DO work and ARE helping (to a great extent), Bryce HAS TO realize that it is NOT the drugs' job to make him "be a good kid", but himself.
Sometimes, I wonder why him... And this is certainly one of those time.
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