"Invisible No More" (video)

Take a journey with these people and their stories of having hidden/invisible disabilities of varying degrees and ailments.

This is an introduction to those that have been willing to come to the forefront and be the "face" of the Peoples with Invisible Disabilities Community.




Pete Monfre




Lauri Cohen




Andrea Fabry




**DISCLAIMER;**

I own NOTHING. These videos are provided through a YouTube channel for the Invisible No More Organization. And are solely for educational purposes, only.

Views Of the Disabled Around the World

The following videos are ones I was able to "find" in regards to how those around the world view and are treated that have various disabilities. And personally, the last video is the most profound.

Kenya...



India...



Botswana...



Philippines...



Liberia...

Inclusion...As it should be.

My child has mental health issues. They do NOT have him, though. He may have his quirks and his ways of viewing the world around him. But when you get down to the brass tacks of it all, he is just your average, ordinary, everyday kid who loves, loves to be loved, plays hard and loves to play with others (most of the time).

Also, we got his SOL (Standards of Learning) scores back from taking them for Reading and Math. He placed Advanced in both. One of them (Reading) was a 2 hour to 2 1/2 hour test. He was able to go to another area to take his test and have as much time as he needed. He felt less stressed and anxiety-ridden, and felt more at ease at knowing that he could just take HIS time and not feel any pressure.

We are now officially out of school for the Summer. But we are getting B in to the Day Treatment Camp. And I already have his new Homeroom teacher lined up for next year. She is the ONLY one of the three in the 5th Grade Unit Special Ed. certified and is already acclimating him to be with her. In fact she started it MONTHS ago, seeing as they are only three doors down from one another. I love H's (now former) teacher!

     (My niece who is going to be a Senior in HS and B at the family reunion)

     (Five...yes, F-I-V-E generations of my husband's late Grandfather's side of the family. 7 kids, 16 grands and 32 great-grands, and 1 great-great grand. NOT all pictured here, but includes spouses/significant others, with my son in very front in red shirt and blue shorts.)

                (B in the school's Field Day race this past Thursday.)

SOL Testing & My Kid (PYHO)

I've decided to do this as a POUR YOUR HEART OUT post, seeing as indeed, I'm writing in regards to something that I have kept bottled up inside since last Friday.

Now, the main rule with this hop/carnival/meme is the "golden rule" of life. If you can't say something nice (or constructive, even if you disagree), then refrain from saying anything at all. Why? Because this may be the ONLY time/place that we that participate in PYHO CAN say what we feel about something that is going on in our lives or are on our hearts/minds.

With that said, if you want to participate too, just click on the PYHO button below, grab the link-up and go for it.



Thanks to a friend over on Twitter, Tough Cookie Mommy, who also has a blog here on Blogger of the same title, I have today's post.

She is a teacher, and I am just a parent. But our kids, two states different are having major testing this week. I think her's have more state-based types of testing, due to the name of what it is.

But my two oldest who are in fourth and fifth grades respectively, as well as the third graders, are having SOL testing this week.

What IS an "SOL", you ask? It stands for Standards of Learning. It is a Federally-based/mandated test that the children take one time during the year (near the end of the school year).

Some (3rd and 5th) take all five subjects (math, reading, soc. studies, science and writing aptitude). The 4th graders take only two subjects (math and reading). Plus the kids take SOLs again in High School, also. And in Senior year, if you fail just ONE subject, they will NOT let you graduate High School with your class.

The higher the overall scores for SOLs that the kids bring in, combined, the more money that they get, as well as more close to complete Accreditation. And their intake of funds depends all on those Accreditation percentages.

Now, what's MY beef with this, you ask? Let's start off with the yearly phone call (message board-generated, mind you). It never fails. The weekend before testing week for SOLs and PALS (lower grades) testing, THE call comes in.

"Get a good night's sleep", "eat a good, filling breakfast", "tell them to do their best" and all the other crap.

Now, note that this is the ONLY time of year that this type of call comes out to us parents. And to me, that's pretty pathetic. Why? Because it *seems* that this is the ONLY time of the year that the school TRULY cares (somewhat) about how these kids do, education-wise. But (to ME) it's more about "raking in" the money. Remember, the better the overall percentage of Accreditation scores, and individual scoring (up to 600), the more money from the Government the school receives.

Last night, I asked Bryce if they had let him go to another teacher's room (the Title 1 class), where there would be basically no one but him and said teacher, as to take his portions of the test this week (he did the first of the two already). YEP! He did. And he will again today, as well.

Now, tell me why they would let my child go to another area (be it the classroom, library, office, or wherever) to take his tests for SOL, but they ignore his (and my) request to do this for him during the OTHER TIMES of the school year?

Funny. That has (all along) been one of the (very) few accommodation requests that BOTH (he as the student with special needs, and I as the parent) of us have asked a number of times for during the last few school years. In writing AND in person.

Right now, the school's finances and their reputation are on the line within the eyes of the Federal Government. But they need to WAKE UP and realize, too that their reps are ALWAYS on the line with the general public at large AND with the parents of the students that they serve.

While it's no longer surprising that this happens to Bryce EVERY single school year, it certainly does piss me off. Because it blatantly shows (in my eyes) that they care (obviously) more about the money than the children and THEIR potential and ability.

"...And The Little Children Shall Suffer."

These are a bit old, and one is graphic, but reality is what it is. Especially in places such as group homes. Not just here in the US, but many are like this ALL over the world, in various countries.

The following videos were filmed between the years of 2007 and 2009 in Bulgaria.

**WARNING! What you are about to see is graphic, as well as severely heartbreaking. But their voices NEED to be heard.**

(Part 1 of 5, view the other parts via YouTube, please.)



There is actually a Part 6, in which we see the transformation of how the residents are treated and interacted with. Milen at this point is about to be moved to a smaller group home setting.



As we can see here, it is a universal fear of parents, family members and others, that those in group settings such as this, globally, that we love and want the best for, in terms of Group Home Care for the Severely Disabled, as fellow human beings, would be sadly mistreated and neglected as we have seen in these videos.

But it does NOT have to be this way. These children (and adults whom also require group home care) need more than just a diaper changed or food shoveled in to their mouths. They need more than "basic" medical care.

If only more "employees" of these homes (around the world) would take TIME out of their "busy schedule" to find it WITHIN THEMSELVES to interact on a more personal level. Hold them. Talk to them, even if the child (or adult) cannot understand them. These people THRIVE on interpersonal interaction and a level of LOVING care.

Lesson Learned

You would think that after this already happening LAST Monday, that we would have learned from the mistake..WRONG!

Seems that *I* have now, as of this morning. And thankfully, I was able to squash the problem BEFORE it became a REALLY BIG problem (like last Monday).

Just as we had last Sunday, we took the kids out to breakfast and of course, took Bryce's Vyvanse (ADHD med) with us to give to him after he ate some food. It CAN be taken with or without food. But I like to have him eat before taking the pill.

And now, just like last weekend, it seems that Scott and I left it where it will do no good. Last week, it was in the van's glove compartment. This week? In Scott's jacket pocket.

OOPSIES!!!

But, unlike LAST Monday, this Monday (today) Bryce can get his pill from the School Nurse.

And now, I have thought to myself after realizing the faux pas for the second straight Monday in a row, that from NOW, ON... Bryce will have to just take his Vyvanse without food BEFORE we leave the house to take them anywhere, if it is in the morning hours.

Lesson learned. And hopefully problem avoided in the future.

Mama's Coming Out With Guns A' Blazin'!

That's it! I'm done. I can no longer keep up the facade and make it like I will just "go with the flow". For the last (almost) four (school) years, I have done everything in my power to ensure that Bryce gets SOMETHING. A 504, an IEP, or just a few SIMPLE accommodations.

LEGALLY, by state and by FEDERAL law, he is ENTITLED to services. He falls well within the IDEA provisions to receive services for his disabilities.

The Case Managers that my son has had over the last several years have all written the schools (two different ones) letters of explanations of each disorder, what medications he is on, and what serves are HIGHLY recommended to utilize to let Bryce have the best possible educational outcome.

No matter what though, these people have trampled over the laws, me, the doctor, the Case Manger, and worse yet, my child.

Well, to that, I say...

NO MORE!

For far too long, the school system has bucked the Medical System. Now, I'm done playing around and having lies told right in front of my face when I forge ahead to get services during Child Study Meetings.

Now, I am looking in to pulling in a Disability Rights Advocate. Their office is located in Richmond, Virginia. This is the last step before seeking a Disabilities Rights ATTORNEY and fighting the Schools (Administration, down to the school its self) in court.

I'm not only going this far for MY child. But I feel that I am representing HUNDREDS of families in my state by fighting back and saying "no more!". The Psychiatrist once told me that when I write to Congressmen (which I have several times), I am not only representing myself and my child, but representing up to 1,000 parents and children in the same boat as us. It's apparently a statistical fact.

So when I begin the uphill battle (yet another) to obtain what is RIGHTFULLY and also JUSTLY my child's to obtain, I am not only going to be fighting for him and my family, I will be willingly taking on the challenge to make a difference for hundreds or thousands of families in just my area alone.

I Ripped In To The (Substitute) School Nurse.

I honestly didn't mean to. And it was out of anger more than anything, as well as being tired of the "same shit, different day" call.

Yes, it IS true that Bryce did NOT have his Vyvanse this morning. And no, the school has no more of his "back up" pills on stand by. Yes, his not getting his ADHD med this morning was/is MY fault (and his dad's) because we accidentally left it in the glove compartment after taking it with us on an outing yesterday morning.

After speaking both with the (sub) school nurse and with Bryce himself as to what was going on with his "screaming and yelling fit" (which he claims he was NOT acting out), I honestly cannot say at this point who is telling me the truth between him and his teacher.

Why yes I did say that his teacher MAY be *lying*. Because if my son has ANY type of fit (be it mild or otherwise), they call me and AUTOMATICALLY assume that Bryce didn't have his ADHD medicine and will proceed to ask if indeed he did have it or not. In which case, he IS medicated (at home) about 98% of the time.

Also note, that I have told them time and time again, like a damned broken ass record, that it is *NOT* the Vyvanse that controls his mood swings. The Seroquel is used for that issue. And even then, it will not 100% curb them.

Plus add in the fact (and yes it IS indeed listed on his paperwork in the school files, as are ALL of his mental health problems/issues) that he has Sensory Processing issues. And guess what? THAT may very well be the ACTUAL culprit at hand as to why he *supposedly* acted out and had a meltdown.

The Master Gardners Association is at the school this morning and apparently there is A LOT of people in the cafeteria for this, with A LOT of different noises, sights and voices all going at one time. That amounts to WAY TOO MUCH for Bryce to take in all at one time.

No medication will help that! NOTHING. That is a sensory issue with the brain that NO drug will "help". I'm sick of my kids' school thinking that ANY "mental health medication" will be the CURE ALL as to help the teachers and school staff to "handle" these kids. The damn pills are NOT the complete answer, nor is it the ONLY way to "help" these kids meet their FULLEST potential.

WORKING WITH THEM, be it one-on-one or in groups within the classrooms, ALONG WITH the "aid" of the medications is the "cure all" to helping children with various mentally incapacitating disorders/disabilities. Not just to "drug them up" as to SHUT THEM UP.

If I could I would at least pull Bryce out of the Public Schools system and either place him in a Private School setting or even better yet, Home School. But I refuse to Home School for various reasons. One is the patience factor and the point that at some point, I would not have the knowledge to keep going with teaching.

This school has known of ALL of his problems since day one. And legally he DOES meet the requirements for Specialized Services. But their excuses of not complying with the law is that his Academic scores, which meet or even exceed standards for his grade level do not "permit" him to have even simple Requests for Adjustments met. Like isolation for test-taking or even having the help of Day Treatment for times like what *supposedly* happened today.

Now, I am even closer to, if not actually ready to contact the offices of the Disability Rights Advocacy Group in Richmond, Virginia. My son and I have been bullied and passed up long enough.

Readers/Followers... (Yeah, I'm pretty upset!)

Okay, I think I need to nip this in the bud. Right here. Right now.

I do NOT do the "I followed you/follow me back" crap. That is NOT the way I roll. If I decide to click on your profile and check out your blog, I will. But without ANY pushing.

This blog is not my way to get a bunch of "followers" that are only doing the above 'game'. I want REAL readers/followers of this blog.

Why? Because the subject matter of THIS blog is REAL.

It is NOT a game.

Mental illnesses and disorders are not things that are to be triffled and played with. Their causes are real. Their affects are real.

And PERSONALLY, I feel that those of you that do the copy/paste shit with no intention of reading the posts, only out to get more "readers" are not only disrespecting me, but you are also disrespecting my son and our family.

So be warned....

If you are going to "follow" then do so. And READ what the realities REALLY are for my child, us as a family, and MILLIONS of other kids and their families that are dealing with mental illness.

What Do YOU See In Him??

When you see my son, what do you see? Do you see the happiness he can have most of the time? Do you see that he can be sly at any given moment? Do you see how much he loves his family?

Can you see that my son is Bipolar (classed as Mood Disorder), with OCD, ADHD, Asperger's Tendencies,Manic Depression, an Anxiety Disorder, Tardive Dyskenesia and a Behavior Disorder?

When our children with these 'problems' have an "off" day of lashing out and being 'abnormal', it is OUR normal. We have gotten used to the stares and whispers out in the public eye. Especially when an episode from the Mania he experiences just suddenly pops up during a shopping trip or other outing.

Sure all is fine and good with the world around us....Until *it* happens. Bryce's eyes glaze over in a "haze" and get a more sharp tone. His voice is quiet. His movement almost at a stand still. Then it happens. OUTBURST!

Next thing I know, I am having to take Bryce off to the side to talk him down, maybe even bear hug him from behind. Otherwise he is going to try and knock things over, run off, or hit someone (mainly me or his sisters).

And this is where the world's judges come in. They gawk and stare at the "evil" little boy and the parents that obviously can't "control" their kid. They see that as one of us is dealing with Bryce, the other is trying to maintain calmness with Hayley and Skyler, as to not have them feel upset or embarrassed.

Once everything is said and done, the calm comes as the storm passes. And everything is as it once was before the episode hit. And yes, these can occur at ANY given moment at ANY time of day, in ANY place (even in the home).

What you see as an "outsider" looking in though is NOT what I see. I don't see the "evil" little child that is unruly and needs his "ass whipped more often".

What I personally see as Bryce's mother, and Scott sees in his son as the boy's father is the potential that our son has to become a normal and productive member of society.

Bryce is in mainstream classes at school. And in ADVANCED Math and Reading classes.

He has friends and a 'social life'.

Bryce loves to play games on the computer.

My boy is a major Hot Wheels and Zhu Pets junkie.

He has a wonderful talent for knowing about Astronomy and Science in general.

But Bryce also requires monthly Psychiatric sessions because to help curb MOST of the symptoms of all of his disabilities, he needs medication. And to be sure that the medicines are working properly, there are no adverse affects, and that he is overall doing well, he must see a "shrink".

Okay, yes I said that I "drug" my kid. But, there are SO MANY misconceptions about the medications that are given to Psychiatric patients. Especially those given to children.

My son is not a "zombie'. He is not "foaming at the mouth" or listless. He is functioning at a better rate for his age THANKS TO those drugs. And it helps curb the ideals for him to go and get a hammer or knife and hold it up at me, all the while saying he is GOING TO KILL ME.

Yep, that's actually happened a few times over the years. Why do you think I have to keep the tool room locked? Mainly with the hammer. I don't remember him ever trying it with a knife. But he has raised scissors, ready to strike at me.

What this is all boiling down to is that for parents such as myself, we are tired of "professionals" telling us what we do or do not know. No one knows our children better than us. And when we cry out for help, we EXPECT someone to be there, listen and do RIGHT by our kids. Not pass us off and think that they 'know' our children. When that happens, dangerous or even fatal errors can occur.

Same goes for society as well. When you see a parent dealing with an "evil little brat", don't assume that the kid is just a 'bad seed' and the parent is just not "parenting right". Look at the scene a little closer. Try for a second to put yourself in their shoes. Because their child might be Special too.

Hidden Disabilities get the most "heat" in this nation (USA) and passed off by the general public more than it should be. It's time to stand back and get to know the person before judging them. They are human too and all they ask for, like anyone else is some compassion, understanding, and caring.

ADHD...

The following is a copy of a post I had done a while back over on my main blog, 'The (Not Always) Happy Homemaker Diary'.

And the title of the post was just what it is here, "ADHD". This I hope will give you a first-hand, real life glimpse in to what my son's life is like on a DAILY basis...


As a mother, it is hard to watch your child struggle. What are ordinary, everyday tasks and expectations to us, is a ball of confusion and frustration for our kids.

Sitting still. Focusing. Being organized. Paying attention to the instructor. Following multiple directions at a rapid pace.

Sounds like a lot, and even a bit confusing to you? I'm sure that it does. But to my son, and to millions of other children in the United States alone, it is a hardship for them every single day to keep up with those tasks while in the classroom, and even at home.

Constantly, I have to remind my hyper, active, not-very-attentive son to complete this task first, so he can move on to the next. Then, after that, I have to remind him to let me check his work against his Agenda, to ensure that he completed the assignments. Then, and only then, may he have his computer or his TV time.

The same goes for his household chores. And the teachers have to stay on top of Bryce as well, being he can fall off of the track pretty quick, and pretty often.

Case in point.. Bryce was found to be sitting in the hall, by his Science and Social Studies Teacher's room. Apparently, he was disrupting the class and "poking at" one girl constantly. After being told to finally move himself to an area where he could be alone, he started to bawl and be belligerent. So, the teacher sent him to the hall.

Then, at snack time, when the Mixed Berries were passed out, he couldn't have any, being that the kitchen never made him a separate bowl without the Blackberries, being he is allergic to them. He went buck wild, pitching a fit, not concentrating on the teacher's explanation, and saying he was being abused because she was "starving" him.

It's not ALL stemming from his ADHD. The lashing out is from another disorder he is inflicted with. But the "poking" of the child, his fidgeting, his lack of concentration, and organization skills, as well as his hyperness, even in his talking to others is a part of the ADHD that he has. Bryce has the more severe form of the disorder.

And yes, he is on medication therapy for it. He takes Vyvanse in the morning, before school. His Intuniv is taken before bedtime. It also serves as a sleep aide, being that his brain stays in "overdrive". The Intuniv relaxes the centers in the brain to control his sleep pattern. And it helps him focus on going to sleep, along with his bedtime routine rituals.

One thing that I have noted the last few years, as the parent of an ADHD child that is medicated, is that most (not all, mind you) teachers think that the medication is the "magic cure-all" for the ADHD while the child is in their classroom. That cannot be further from the truth.

While the medications DO help the child stay focused, attentive, and with less likelihood to blurt out or talk out of turn (or even go way off the topic at hand), the medicines can only control those points to a certain extent.

The remainder of the ADHD child's success relies upon both the child's willingness to gain SELF-control and SELF-discipline, as well as the teacher's willingness to work with the child to achieve those same goals that ADHD students need to be successful students.

This may mean giving the ADHD child a separate desk area, where fellow students will not be a distraction. Or even asking the child if the student is understanding and able to follow the lesson. The teacher can't be "all mouth". They must be about action as well. This means walking around, using hand gestures. Anything to keep the ADHD child engaged in the lesson.

On average, the typical ADHD child can give you no more than fifteen minutes of their attention. For the ones with severe ADHD, you are lucky, and I mean LUCKY, to get ten minutes of their attention, being most severe cases have an attention span of only five minutes.

Too many teachers rely on medication therapy. And anti-medicating advocates talk about us parents? MOST of us parents tried EVERYTHING else under the sun for our children BEFORE going the "pill route".

Our child's first line of defense of course, are the parents. Then, the doctors and therapeutic team. Teachers though, as well as the other school staff round out the team for these kids. We ALL have to work together to help these children with ADHD be successful . Within the classroom setting, as well as out in the community and within the world.

So, remember that while ADHD medications DO help, it's far from being the "cure-all" route of having a successful child. One-on-one working with your child (or student, if that is the case), providing the appropriate tools for success, and helping them to build their SELF-esteem and SELF-control are the REAL keys for having an ADHD child that is well-rounded, adjusted, organized and an overall good student in the classroom and beyond.