PYHO Wednesday With Shell.

It is time again for another harrowing episode of...Oh wait! This isn't a Daytime Drama. Then again, it IS "my" drama". Oh hell! Just know I am about to Pour My Heart Out with Shell over at Things I Can't Say.



*REMEMBER FOLKS!*

This Meme/Blog Carnival for many of us is an outlet. Especially for those of us that need a "safe haven" to vent in, away from those that would more wish to hurt us more, than to lend understanding and support. So, if you CANNOT say anything constructively if you DISAGREE, then I suggest you move on. Because believe you me, if Angel over at A Tall Drink Of Sweet Tea catches that you have been bad on the PYHO posts, it is HER that you will be answering to, via her "Flaming Redhead" Vlog.

Now onward...

Bryce had been "pre-authorized" via his insurance to be "Partially Hospitalized" for attending the Day Treatment Summer program this year. So, after playing the game "I wonder if she is EVER going to call" with the Case Manager (CM), I called HER and got the lovely line about how she was GOING TO call me "today". In other words she got caught with her pants down for dropping the proverbial ball.

We decided that I go over to the office to sign the paperwork on Thursday of last week. Now mind you, I had to be outside in the heat a majority of that day at school for their Field Day activities. Plus my husband worked an odd schedule from the norm, by working that day as well. So yes, to go in to the nice, air conditioned office across town later that day completely slipped my mind..All the way through until Sunday.

Today is Wednesday. And I guess that I will be (once again) the one to call HER about coming in TOMORROW for certain (on my husband's actual day off each week) to sign the papers as to officially let Bryce start on Monday at the camp.

You would think that seeing as the lady who is new to her profession of being a CM. would CALL and ensure that all is okay because we had missed an appointment to sign paperwork. Yes, I should have probably called her on Tuesday (being Monday was a holiday). But the last I heard, she gets PAID to do her job of MAKING CALLS to her various clients to check on them (at least) once a month.

What do you want to bet that when I call in about an hour, that she will use the line (again) about her planning on calling me later today. Whatever, lady!

I hate how my kid and the other kids under the care of these Case Managers get bounced around like a ball from one CM to another. They get used to a certain person. Some of them take a good while to get anywhere close to the person who has become the norm in their lives. Suddenly and most of the time, without warning, that CM is "taken away and replaced" with a new CM that the poor kid has to adjust to.

Personally, I find it sadly mishandled in that area. These kids THRIVE on stability, routine and closeness with those that they deem "fit" to be a part of their world.

I can understand getting promoted (as his last CM did). But to switch them as to "rotate" them with the clients of the agency? C'mon!

Oh, and I have YET to even hear a peep from the dumb woman in regards to trying to get Bryce back in to In-Home Therapy, which then YES, would switch him to a QUALIFIED in-home therapist and behavior specialist. I strongly feel it's time again. Needless to say, I bet you two to one, the bitch never "staffed" it with her boss, yet. Wouldn't surprise me in the least at this point.

"...And The Little Children Shall Suffer."

These are a bit old, and one is graphic, but reality is what it is. Especially in places such as group homes. Not just here in the US, but many are like this ALL over the world, in various countries.

The following videos were filmed between the years of 2007 and 2009 in Bulgaria.

**WARNING! What you are about to see is graphic, as well as severely heartbreaking. But their voices NEED to be heard.**

(Part 1 of 5, view the other parts via YouTube, please.)



There is actually a Part 6, in which we see the transformation of how the residents are treated and interacted with. Milen at this point is about to be moved to a smaller group home setting.



As we can see here, it is a universal fear of parents, family members and others, that those in group settings such as this, globally, that we love and want the best for, in terms of Group Home Care for the Severely Disabled, as fellow human beings, would be sadly mistreated and neglected as we have seen in these videos.

But it does NOT have to be this way. These children (and adults whom also require group home care) need more than just a diaper changed or food shoveled in to their mouths. They need more than "basic" medical care.

If only more "employees" of these homes (around the world) would take TIME out of their "busy schedule" to find it WITHIN THEMSELVES to interact on a more personal level. Hold them. Talk to them, even if the child (or adult) cannot understand them. These people THRIVE on interpersonal interaction and a level of LOVING care.

I Ripped In To The (Substitute) School Nurse.

I honestly didn't mean to. And it was out of anger more than anything, as well as being tired of the "same shit, different day" call.

Yes, it IS true that Bryce did NOT have his Vyvanse this morning. And no, the school has no more of his "back up" pills on stand by. Yes, his not getting his ADHD med this morning was/is MY fault (and his dad's) because we accidentally left it in the glove compartment after taking it with us on an outing yesterday morning.

After speaking both with the (sub) school nurse and with Bryce himself as to what was going on with his "screaming and yelling fit" (which he claims he was NOT acting out), I honestly cannot say at this point who is telling me the truth between him and his teacher.

Why yes I did say that his teacher MAY be *lying*. Because if my son has ANY type of fit (be it mild or otherwise), they call me and AUTOMATICALLY assume that Bryce didn't have his ADHD medicine and will proceed to ask if indeed he did have it or not. In which case, he IS medicated (at home) about 98% of the time.

Also note, that I have told them time and time again, like a damned broken ass record, that it is *NOT* the Vyvanse that controls his mood swings. The Seroquel is used for that issue. And even then, it will not 100% curb them.

Plus add in the fact (and yes it IS indeed listed on his paperwork in the school files, as are ALL of his mental health problems/issues) that he has Sensory Processing issues. And guess what? THAT may very well be the ACTUAL culprit at hand as to why he *supposedly* acted out and had a meltdown.

The Master Gardners Association is at the school this morning and apparently there is A LOT of people in the cafeteria for this, with A LOT of different noises, sights and voices all going at one time. That amounts to WAY TOO MUCH for Bryce to take in all at one time.

No medication will help that! NOTHING. That is a sensory issue with the brain that NO drug will "help". I'm sick of my kids' school thinking that ANY "mental health medication" will be the CURE ALL as to help the teachers and school staff to "handle" these kids. The damn pills are NOT the complete answer, nor is it the ONLY way to "help" these kids meet their FULLEST potential.

WORKING WITH THEM, be it one-on-one or in groups within the classrooms, ALONG WITH the "aid" of the medications is the "cure all" to helping children with various mentally incapacitating disorders/disabilities. Not just to "drug them up" as to SHUT THEM UP.

If I could I would at least pull Bryce out of the Public Schools system and either place him in a Private School setting or even better yet, Home School. But I refuse to Home School for various reasons. One is the patience factor and the point that at some point, I would not have the knowledge to keep going with teaching.

This school has known of ALL of his problems since day one. And legally he DOES meet the requirements for Specialized Services. But their excuses of not complying with the law is that his Academic scores, which meet or even exceed standards for his grade level do not "permit" him to have even simple Requests for Adjustments met. Like isolation for test-taking or even having the help of Day Treatment for times like what *supposedly* happened today.

Now, I am even closer to, if not actually ready to contact the offices of the Disability Rights Advocacy Group in Richmond, Virginia. My son and I have been bullied and passed up long enough.

So much for "cutting back" or "phasing out". (sad and disappointed)

The other day, I'd written a post about CUTTING BACK on my son's Seroquel to see if there was an ability to actually take him all the way off of it.

For the last few nights, I had him taking only 25 mg of the medication, instead of the 50, which he'd been dropped to for the last three weeks, from his top dose of 100 mg.

Sadly, those hopes of completely pulling Bryce off of the Seroquel have been dashed as of this morning.

There have been noticeable changes in his moods and behaviors. And this morning, it became extremely clear that the 25 mg was just not enough to stabilize him.

He has become belligerent, has been spewing "verbal venom" towards me and his sisters, and has gotten physically combative.

These are telltale signs that the 25 mg is just not enough to help him with his ability to have a calm discussion and not want to resort to violent tendencies.

I knew deep down that I shouldn't have gotten my hopes so high and so positive, it's like rainbows were shooting out my ass towards the thought and BELIEF that finally my child could be FREE of even just ONE drug flowing through his system as to help his brain have better control of its self, and Bryce of himself.

But then again, as a mother, how can I *not* at least TRY to be positive in the HOPES that something (for once) goes right for my child in the world of Mental Illness? Is it really too much to ask for some kind of peace for his ever-going mind?

Things WILL be changing around here!

When is enough truly enough? It's when you constantly hear your son ask you why his sisters get to go on overnight trips with extended family members, but he is NEVER invited.

With the exception of one.

So, as of last night, I told my husband that after this upcoming weekend getaway that Hayley will have with my oldest niece, there will be NO MORE over-nighters for ANY of the three kids. Except for with the one certain family member.

No one knows of this yet, seeing as the ONLY one to know of my decision is my husband, who did not dare fight me on it, seeing as he has been heart sick over the "treatment" (or lack there of) of our son.

Oh I am 100% positive that they LOVE my child. But love is NOT just about the three words, 'I LOVE YOU'. It's also shown and even spoken of through ACTION.

They can all tell my kid that they love him until they are blue in the face and he gets sick to death of hearing it. What he is BEGGING for, yearning for is for it to be SHOWN to him.

He wants to have the same opportunity as his sisters get. And that is to have fun times with his cousins, aunts and uncles.

But of course that means having to take responsibility for his care. This means having constant contact with him for an entire night and at least part of an entire day.

And without even telling me, they are in some way SCARED of him and what he is capable of. When he has an episode, anything can happen.

Well damn! I deal with that shit EVERY single day. And guess what? I STILL manage to have FUN with him. I still treat him as if he is just as "normal" as any other person.

It'd be REALLY nice to have a damned break. I don't get that. Rarely enough do I with the girls. But NEVER (but once in a blue moon with the one family member) where Bryce is concerned.

So this is why after this weekend, NONE of my kids will be allowed to have sleepovers at other family members' homes. I see it like this.. If you can't take ALL THREE (either individually or together) from time to time, then you should NOT get ANY of my children.

And also, I have decided that just because I am a Stay-Home Mom, I am NO LONGER watching ANY of the kids in the family, except for the one who's willing to take my son from time to time.

I'm tired of being a damn door mat. And I'm tired of being used and having one of my kids pushed out because he is "different".

When it's a friend doing this shit, it's one thing. Still hurtful, but not as heart breaking. When it's family, that's a whole other ball game.

Readers/Followers... (Yeah, I'm pretty upset!)

Okay, I think I need to nip this in the bud. Right here. Right now.

I do NOT do the "I followed you/follow me back" crap. That is NOT the way I roll. If I decide to click on your profile and check out your blog, I will. But without ANY pushing.

This blog is not my way to get a bunch of "followers" that are only doing the above 'game'. I want REAL readers/followers of this blog.

Why? Because the subject matter of THIS blog is REAL.

It is NOT a game.

Mental illnesses and disorders are not things that are to be triffled and played with. Their causes are real. Their affects are real.

And PERSONALLY, I feel that those of you that do the copy/paste shit with no intention of reading the posts, only out to get more "readers" are not only disrespecting me, but you are also disrespecting my son and our family.

So be warned....

If you are going to "follow" then do so. And READ what the realities REALLY are for my child, us as a family, and MILLIONS of other kids and their families that are dealing with mental illness.

What Do YOU See In Him??

When you see my son, what do you see? Do you see the happiness he can have most of the time? Do you see that he can be sly at any given moment? Do you see how much he loves his family?

Can you see that my son is Bipolar (classed as Mood Disorder), with OCD, ADHD, Asperger's Tendencies,Manic Depression, an Anxiety Disorder, Tardive Dyskenesia and a Behavior Disorder?

When our children with these 'problems' have an "off" day of lashing out and being 'abnormal', it is OUR normal. We have gotten used to the stares and whispers out in the public eye. Especially when an episode from the Mania he experiences just suddenly pops up during a shopping trip or other outing.

Sure all is fine and good with the world around us....Until *it* happens. Bryce's eyes glaze over in a "haze" and get a more sharp tone. His voice is quiet. His movement almost at a stand still. Then it happens. OUTBURST!

Next thing I know, I am having to take Bryce off to the side to talk him down, maybe even bear hug him from behind. Otherwise he is going to try and knock things over, run off, or hit someone (mainly me or his sisters).

And this is where the world's judges come in. They gawk and stare at the "evil" little boy and the parents that obviously can't "control" their kid. They see that as one of us is dealing with Bryce, the other is trying to maintain calmness with Hayley and Skyler, as to not have them feel upset or embarrassed.

Once everything is said and done, the calm comes as the storm passes. And everything is as it once was before the episode hit. And yes, these can occur at ANY given moment at ANY time of day, in ANY place (even in the home).

What you see as an "outsider" looking in though is NOT what I see. I don't see the "evil" little child that is unruly and needs his "ass whipped more often".

What I personally see as Bryce's mother, and Scott sees in his son as the boy's father is the potential that our son has to become a normal and productive member of society.

Bryce is in mainstream classes at school. And in ADVANCED Math and Reading classes.

He has friends and a 'social life'.

Bryce loves to play games on the computer.

My boy is a major Hot Wheels and Zhu Pets junkie.

He has a wonderful talent for knowing about Astronomy and Science in general.

But Bryce also requires monthly Psychiatric sessions because to help curb MOST of the symptoms of all of his disabilities, he needs medication. And to be sure that the medicines are working properly, there are no adverse affects, and that he is overall doing well, he must see a "shrink".

Okay, yes I said that I "drug" my kid. But, there are SO MANY misconceptions about the medications that are given to Psychiatric patients. Especially those given to children.

My son is not a "zombie'. He is not "foaming at the mouth" or listless. He is functioning at a better rate for his age THANKS TO those drugs. And it helps curb the ideals for him to go and get a hammer or knife and hold it up at me, all the while saying he is GOING TO KILL ME.

Yep, that's actually happened a few times over the years. Why do you think I have to keep the tool room locked? Mainly with the hammer. I don't remember him ever trying it with a knife. But he has raised scissors, ready to strike at me.

What this is all boiling down to is that for parents such as myself, we are tired of "professionals" telling us what we do or do not know. No one knows our children better than us. And when we cry out for help, we EXPECT someone to be there, listen and do RIGHT by our kids. Not pass us off and think that they 'know' our children. When that happens, dangerous or even fatal errors can occur.

Same goes for society as well. When you see a parent dealing with an "evil little brat", don't assume that the kid is just a 'bad seed' and the parent is just not "parenting right". Look at the scene a little closer. Try for a second to put yourself in their shoes. Because their child might be Special too.

Hidden Disabilities get the most "heat" in this nation (USA) and passed off by the general public more than it should be. It's time to stand back and get to know the person before judging them. They are human too and all they ask for, like anyone else is some compassion, understanding, and caring.

ADHD...

The following is a copy of a post I had done a while back over on my main blog, 'The (Not Always) Happy Homemaker Diary'.

And the title of the post was just what it is here, "ADHD". This I hope will give you a first-hand, real life glimpse in to what my son's life is like on a DAILY basis...


As a mother, it is hard to watch your child struggle. What are ordinary, everyday tasks and expectations to us, is a ball of confusion and frustration for our kids.

Sitting still. Focusing. Being organized. Paying attention to the instructor. Following multiple directions at a rapid pace.

Sounds like a lot, and even a bit confusing to you? I'm sure that it does. But to my son, and to millions of other children in the United States alone, it is a hardship for them every single day to keep up with those tasks while in the classroom, and even at home.

Constantly, I have to remind my hyper, active, not-very-attentive son to complete this task first, so he can move on to the next. Then, after that, I have to remind him to let me check his work against his Agenda, to ensure that he completed the assignments. Then, and only then, may he have his computer or his TV time.

The same goes for his household chores. And the teachers have to stay on top of Bryce as well, being he can fall off of the track pretty quick, and pretty often.

Case in point.. Bryce was found to be sitting in the hall, by his Science and Social Studies Teacher's room. Apparently, he was disrupting the class and "poking at" one girl constantly. After being told to finally move himself to an area where he could be alone, he started to bawl and be belligerent. So, the teacher sent him to the hall.

Then, at snack time, when the Mixed Berries were passed out, he couldn't have any, being that the kitchen never made him a separate bowl without the Blackberries, being he is allergic to them. He went buck wild, pitching a fit, not concentrating on the teacher's explanation, and saying he was being abused because she was "starving" him.

It's not ALL stemming from his ADHD. The lashing out is from another disorder he is inflicted with. But the "poking" of the child, his fidgeting, his lack of concentration, and organization skills, as well as his hyperness, even in his talking to others is a part of the ADHD that he has. Bryce has the more severe form of the disorder.

And yes, he is on medication therapy for it. He takes Vyvanse in the morning, before school. His Intuniv is taken before bedtime. It also serves as a sleep aide, being that his brain stays in "overdrive". The Intuniv relaxes the centers in the brain to control his sleep pattern. And it helps him focus on going to sleep, along with his bedtime routine rituals.

One thing that I have noted the last few years, as the parent of an ADHD child that is medicated, is that most (not all, mind you) teachers think that the medication is the "magic cure-all" for the ADHD while the child is in their classroom. That cannot be further from the truth.

While the medications DO help the child stay focused, attentive, and with less likelihood to blurt out or talk out of turn (or even go way off the topic at hand), the medicines can only control those points to a certain extent.

The remainder of the ADHD child's success relies upon both the child's willingness to gain SELF-control and SELF-discipline, as well as the teacher's willingness to work with the child to achieve those same goals that ADHD students need to be successful students.

This may mean giving the ADHD child a separate desk area, where fellow students will not be a distraction. Or even asking the child if the student is understanding and able to follow the lesson. The teacher can't be "all mouth". They must be about action as well. This means walking around, using hand gestures. Anything to keep the ADHD child engaged in the lesson.

On average, the typical ADHD child can give you no more than fifteen minutes of their attention. For the ones with severe ADHD, you are lucky, and I mean LUCKY, to get ten minutes of their attention, being most severe cases have an attention span of only five minutes.

Too many teachers rely on medication therapy. And anti-medicating advocates talk about us parents? MOST of us parents tried EVERYTHING else under the sun for our children BEFORE going the "pill route".

Our child's first line of defense of course, are the parents. Then, the doctors and therapeutic team. Teachers though, as well as the other school staff round out the team for these kids. We ALL have to work together to help these children with ADHD be successful . Within the classroom setting, as well as out in the community and within the world.

So, remember that while ADHD medications DO help, it's far from being the "cure-all" route of having a successful child. One-on-one working with your child (or student, if that is the case), providing the appropriate tools for success, and helping them to build their SELF-esteem and SELF-control are the REAL keys for having an ADHD child that is well-rounded, adjusted, organized and an overall good student in the classroom and beyond.