NT Parents vs. SN Parents

I am a mother.

I am a mother to three children.

I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems".

I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems", but that I love all equally.

You say that there is NO way you could do what I do, put up with what I put up with, and defend what I have to defend.

You say we are a strong, but rare breed. But there are more parents like me than you most likely even know. Because we don't look to be recognized or placed on a pedestal.

We do what we have to do, when we have to do it, as to ensure that our "special" kids are getting everything in life that they deserve.

That includes being as close to "normal" as we can get them. And to obtain the specialized services, that though are supposed to be rendered by Federally mandated Laws, are not always put in to place.

We rejoice at what most people take for granted. Especially when they are "late bloomers". We cry from the frustration. Not just our own, but the frustrations that our children display.

We want what ALL (okay, MOST) parents want for their kids. A better and fulfilling life.

You and I aren't THAT different in the world of Parenting. We, like our children, just do things a little bit different from the rest of you. And we see things (like first words, first steps and the other norms of growing up) a tad bit differently as well.

Other than that, I'm not much different from you. And yes, you CAN do what I do on a daily basis. Because when push comes to shove, when it comes to your child, you would do most ANYTHING and move every mountain and boulder to help your child achieve their very best potential.

Do I want to just throw my hands up and quit? YES! Sometimes, the fight to help your child achieve can really tire you emotionally and mentally. As can their daily struggles and fights of will. But in the end, no matter how much you want to just turn around and walk away, you CAN'T. You know for a fact that you have invested WAY too much time, energy, and most important, love in to helping your children succeed to the best of their ability.

So, the next time you think to yourself that you could "never do my job as a parent", or think I must be a lot stronger than you, take a step back and think, and know that when it all comes down to that fine line in the sand, there is really no line at all.

Case Manager Mismanagement

Yesterday, I had to drag my family out in to the unseasonably hot Summer heat to take B to his yearly check up. All went well, though he cried like Hoover Dam when he got two shots in his bony arm.

Then, it was off to brunch at a Biscutville in the area where the doctor is (next town over from us)being that only one of us five ate any breakfast. No, it wasn't the boy, the mom, the dad or even the big sister. You got it. Littlest one was smart enough to eat BEFORE we were to leave.

Then, it was off to Child and Family Services, where B has his Case Management and his Psychiatric appointments. I stopped in to drop off the Medication Dispersal sheet for school, being he has to have backup of Vyvanse there, just in case. And while there, I was able to meet up with the CM to sign the needed papers for the next six months to a year (depending on the information).

At one point, she got to talking to B about his not eating and how even skinnier he looks from the last time she had seen him (about a month ago).

This is where the trouble began. And where my "Mama Bear" came out, claws ready.

At one point of the "eating" conversation, I"stepped in" and noted that now, I am seeing troubling signs of his (non)eating habits starting to spill over to his LITTLE sister. She is EXTREMELY picky, just like him. She "bird pecks" most of her meals, just like him. And she is not willing to try foods, just like him.

Needless to say, I got the "you shouldn't compare B to S, and you need to concentrate on B. And I am ONLY going to concentrate on B"...Excuse me? PART OF YOUR JOB is to oversee the needs of the FAMILY, not JUST the client him/herself. And I have LEGITIMATE concerns that ultimately affect my ENTIRE family.

Mind you, I was signing papers that she was LATE getting to the proper areas, but was "hunting" me down to get them signed. Some were back from APRIL. The others were CURRENT paperwork. I even back-dated the older ones (to save her from getting in to trouble).

If what she said about one of my kids being more important over the other was said BEFORE I started placing my "John Hancock", I would have dated the OLD forms for YESTERDAYS date, just to be a bitch.

And I have seriously considered contacting B's former CM who is now HER boss and ask if what she said was correct and/or acceptable. I addressed concerns for BOTH "her client" and for HIS little sister. It wasn't until I said anything, that HE finally got it and is now seeing how HIS habits are affecting others in the home.

So much for "cutting back" or "phasing out". (sad and disappointed)

The other day, I'd written a post about CUTTING BACK on my son's Seroquel to see if there was an ability to actually take him all the way off of it.

For the last few nights, I had him taking only 25 mg of the medication, instead of the 50, which he'd been dropped to for the last three weeks, from his top dose of 100 mg.

Sadly, those hopes of completely pulling Bryce off of the Seroquel have been dashed as of this morning.

There have been noticeable changes in his moods and behaviors. And this morning, it became extremely clear that the 25 mg was just not enough to stabilize him.

He has become belligerent, has been spewing "verbal venom" towards me and his sisters, and has gotten physically combative.

These are telltale signs that the 25 mg is just not enough to help him with his ability to have a calm discussion and not want to resort to violent tendencies.

I knew deep down that I shouldn't have gotten my hopes so high and so positive, it's like rainbows were shooting out my ass towards the thought and BELIEF that finally my child could be FREE of even just ONE drug flowing through his system as to help his brain have better control of its self, and Bryce of himself.

But then again, as a mother, how can I *not* at least TRY to be positive in the HOPES that something (for once) goes right for my child in the world of Mental Illness? Is it really too much to ask for some kind of peace for his ever-going mind?

Psychological Effects From A Robbery

On Saturday, February 12th, my home was broken in to. Thankfully, none of us were home at the time of the robbery. I don't care about the money that was taken. And even if more than money was stolen, I wouldn't care about that either. What I DO care about is the psychological effects that it has had on my three children. Especially my son.

Both of the girls are handling things okay. For the most part. They get a little more antsy and jumpy if Dad has to work a late shift. But my son is worried, jumpy and scared of WHEN IT DOES, not IF it happens again.

Now any and every little bump or creak, primarily at night has him practically jumping out of bed (and his skin), begging for the answer to "what was THAT?!?".

In his little mind, which was already in a CONSTANT speed of thought before the robbery took place is now constantly thinking of WHEN IT DOES happen again and has been hatching different "plans of action" for if it happens if we happen to be home, and without Dad around.

It's bad enough he has an Anxiety Disorder. But this makes it a bit worse with his already-constant worrying.

It's no secret in my home that I have young children. Not with books, toys and pictures strewn all over the place on shelves, table tops and in boxes.

Instead of the person thinking about the FACT of there being SMALL children in the victim's home, they ONLY thought of themselves, the money, and the DRUGS that they were wanting to score.

The perp(s) not only rifled through MY bedroom, the living room, and even my laundry room, but also through my daughter's purse (thankfully she had her money on her that night) and both of the kid's bedrooms looking for money.

They did NOT just violate me, my psyche and my things. They violated my children! Now all three of them are worried of there being a next time. Though the girls are dealing with it much better. Sure Bryce could be A LOT worse with his anxiety level being even higher than normal. But it's worse enough.

They took away my children's innocence, security, safety and psychological ease when they took the money.

And now, the Walgreen's up the street the other night was robbed. ONLY OF MONEY. Strange. My husband and I strongly wonder if by chance the guy that was arrested for that was OUR robber as well. Being that in BOTH places, he only wanted cash. And in BOTH places, there are some "good" prescription drugs that he COULD HAVE taken to get high with, but did NOT. Only wanted the cash both at the Drug Store and here in my house. And he is built like a man that could have kicked my kitchen door in, that was BOLT locked, only to tear one side of the door frame clean off.

Do the math. If it DOES happen to be him, heck yes, I'm pressing charges. And not JUST for robbery.