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Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
"ADHD isn't *anything* but a myth."
This dude's nothing but a crock of crap! He is NOT a certified Medical Doctor (and actually ADMITS to such claim). And apparently, so is Depression. It's a "moral dilemma". The ADHD is an "imaginary" medical condition according to this dummy.
Ones like this asshat has NEVER had children most likely. Or never had kids with these disorders.
Ones like this asshat has NEVER had children most likely. Or never had kids with these disorders.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Medication Station... To Transfer Or Not. That Is The Question.
There went that idea. At least for another 2 weeks. I wanted to transfer B.'s meds to the store that my husband works at, seeing as Walgreen's dropped my girls and their insurance plan.
Although his IS safe, at least for another year, I don't like the idea of having everyone all over town with their meds. I called the store's pharmacy (Kroger), and sure enough (like back when he WAS with them), they have NONE of the Vyvanse in his strength requirement (top dose of 70 mg).
So, this means filling again with Walgreen's, calling Kroger in 2 weeks to ensure that they place the Vyvanse at that dose on order to come in, in time for us to fill it.
You would think though, being it's one of the MOST WIDELY used drugs for ADHD, in all of the available strengths, that it would ALWAYS be on hand.
I have some thinking to do over the next couple of weeks over this and mull the decision over.
To me, it's just plain common sense to keep in stock, the drugs that you as a Pharmacist knows are of popularity in prescribing. To do otherwise, could cause you to lose customers or (potential) ones. And what if the person was to have ran out before you can get more in? That COULD have deadly consequences.
Although his IS safe, at least for another year, I don't like the idea of having everyone all over town with their meds. I called the store's pharmacy (Kroger), and sure enough (like back when he WAS with them), they have NONE of the Vyvanse in his strength requirement (top dose of 70 mg).
So, this means filling again with Walgreen's, calling Kroger in 2 weeks to ensure that they place the Vyvanse at that dose on order to come in, in time for us to fill it.
You would think though, being it's one of the MOST WIDELY used drugs for ADHD, in all of the available strengths, that it would ALWAYS be on hand.
I have some thinking to do over the next couple of weeks over this and mull the decision over.
To me, it's just plain common sense to keep in stock, the drugs that you as a Pharmacist knows are of popularity in prescribing. To do otherwise, could cause you to lose customers or (potential) ones. And what if the person was to have ran out before you can get more in? That COULD have deadly consequences.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Team Amelia... The Fight For Life and The Debate of Society's View on Human Worth
There is a little girl named Amelia (Mia for short). She is almost three years old and suffers from a rare genetic disorder called Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome. Part of the disability is severe cognitive delays and disabilities. But apparently, they don't slow her down.
Amelia can laugh, smile, plays with her family pet and is apparently a little girl that loves to have her picture taken. In most ways, she is a "normal" little girl. With some pretty big odds stacked against her.
She also is going to need a kidney transplant in the next six moths to a year. Or else, she will surely die.
But one doctor, from Nephrology, has flat out refused to help her. Even though the parents do NOT wish to have her on the transplant National Registry. They wish to donate via family members and themselves. Still, the doctor at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia has refused.
What in fact was the basis of refusal to operate and give Mia a second chance at a BETTER and a HEALTHIER life?
"Mentally retarded", and "fear" of the drugs she will need post-transplant to let her kidney survive giving her seizures (she ALREADY has them!) or make her mentally "retarded" (she already IS!). So, how much worse can this honestly get for her, other than a CERTAIN death sentence??
The following is excerpts taken from Mia's mother's blog entry on wolfhirschhorn.org.
"The doctor interrupts. He puts his hands up and tries to take a stern voice with me. “These medications she has to take after the transplant, they are very dangerous. They can cause seizures. We have to get the dose exact. They may cause brain damage.”
“DO OTHER CHIILDREN WHO HAVE A TRANSPLANT TAKE THIS MEDICATION?”
“Yes, but it is different for her. She is already brain damaged and mentally retarded.”
He pauses as if he is choosing his words carefully. “I have been warned about you. About how involved you and your famliy are with Amelia.”
The devil himself could not have produced a more evil laugh. “Ha! Warned! That is funny! You have no idea…”"
"“So you mean to tell me that as a doctor, you are not recommending the transplant, and when her kidneys fail in six months to a year, you want me to let her die because she is mentally retarded? There is no other medical reason for her not to have this transplant other than she is MENTALLY RETARDED!”
“Yes. This is hard for me, you know.”
My eyes burn through his soul as if I could set him on fire right there. “Ok, so now what? This is not acceptable to me. Who do I talk to next?”
“I will take this back to the team. We meet once a month. I will tell them I do not recommend Amelia for a transplant because she is mentally retarded and we will vote.”"
"“Well, you can then take it the ethics committee but as a team we have the final say. Feel free to go somewhere else. But it won’t be done here.”
They both get up and leave the room.
I look at Joe who is sobbing trying to get the stroller and Amelia’s backpack. I break down with him before we head to the parking garage."
Some people are calling Amelia's parents "liars". Some are saying she is embellishing the story. Some are hitting her for invoking emotional responses from the reader. As a mother, as a mother to a disabled child, and as a TRANSPLANT RECIPIENT *myself*, of course I have an EMOTIONAL response to this outrage!... And my parents had faced a VERY similar situation with me.
What also makes this sad and angering for me is that the Social Worker that met with Mia's parents, along side of the doctor, was rude, insensitive, unprofessional and it sounds like she almost ENJOYED going toe-to-toe with the mother, when Mom became "defensive" in the fight for her child's life.
Here is the statement that CHoP made on their "Like" page last night in regards to the entire situation...
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
"We have watched with great concern the comments regarding criteria used in making transplant eligibility decisions. We understand your concerns and reactions to the Facebook postings.
We strive to provide the safest possible care for our patients and we make transplant eligibility decisions based on widely-accepted, medically valid methods, with many factors considered. We want you to know that CHOP does not have any criteria which exclude patients from being considered for transplant solely on the basis of their cognitive status. Transplant programs at CHOP have never declined a patient for transplant based solely on their cognitive status and we have performed transplants on many children with disabilities and impairments.
CHOP’s transplant programs continue to evaluate and perform transplants on some of the most complex cases in the country. We use an established framework for consistent evaluation and transplantation. Each child is evaluated on an individual basis, taking multiple medical, surgical, and psychosocial aspects into consideration. In each evaluation, we consider the possible risk and outcome of the recipient, potential donor options, as well as alternative therapies.
In order to determine eligibility for transplantation, a multidisciplinary evaluation is completed by several members of the transplant team, which would include careful assessment of a patient by surgical and transplant specialists, as well as, psychosocial, and neurologic specialists. Parents and family members are very much a part of the discussion.
We wish to emphasize that all determinations of eligibility for transplantation are treated on an individual basis. We make all decisions regarding eligibility using a non-discriminatory approach, after a multidisciplinary assessment and discussion, which is the standard of practice throughout the country.
These communications are very important to us and provide us with an opportunity to always re-examine and reassess our approach and process. We hope that we can continue to improve and continue to provide exceptional care for children with organ failure."
Yes, be ANGRY at the Social Worker in question. Yes, be ANGRY with the "Specialist" doctor in question. And I say YES, to be angry with Children's Hospital of Philadelphia for obviously trying to "shut up" those of us in the Disability Community by deleting our posts of concern and shock at the outrage that lays before us. After all, the doctor and their Social Worker are REPRESENTIVES, faces if you will of CHoP.
And here is the face of those with Mental Disabilities who is in her own way, defacing the stigma and dogma of a society against her in the fight for the RIGHT to live as full and as long a life as she can have...
How can we in the 21st Century, in 2012 think of ANY person, child or adult, that is mentally handicapped (in any severity of the term) as just a piece of meat that is more fit for the trash can, than as a HUMAN BEING that have EVERY right as a "normal" person to live their life to the fullest measure and length as possible?
What is happening to this little innocent BABY and her parents is beyond deplorable and reprehensible.
How does a prisoner's "rights" outrank a (disabled) child's "rights" when it comes to LIFE-SAVING surgery? It's beyond my comprehension. To have this type of "backwards" thinking is an atrocity to mankind.
Amelia can laugh, smile, plays with her family pet and is apparently a little girl that loves to have her picture taken. In most ways, she is a "normal" little girl. With some pretty big odds stacked against her.
She also is going to need a kidney transplant in the next six moths to a year. Or else, she will surely die.
But one doctor, from Nephrology, has flat out refused to help her. Even though the parents do NOT wish to have her on the transplant National Registry. They wish to donate via family members and themselves. Still, the doctor at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia has refused.
What in fact was the basis of refusal to operate and give Mia a second chance at a BETTER and a HEALTHIER life?
"Mentally retarded", and "fear" of the drugs she will need post-transplant to let her kidney survive giving her seizures (she ALREADY has them!) or make her mentally "retarded" (she already IS!). So, how much worse can this honestly get for her, other than a CERTAIN death sentence??
The following is excerpts taken from Mia's mother's blog entry on wolfhirschhorn.org.
"The doctor interrupts. He puts his hands up and tries to take a stern voice with me. “These medications she has to take after the transplant, they are very dangerous. They can cause seizures. We have to get the dose exact. They may cause brain damage.”
“DO OTHER CHIILDREN WHO HAVE A TRANSPLANT TAKE THIS MEDICATION?”
“Yes, but it is different for her. She is already brain damaged and mentally retarded.”
He pauses as if he is choosing his words carefully. “I have been warned about you. About how involved you and your famliy are with Amelia.”
The devil himself could not have produced a more evil laugh. “Ha! Warned! That is funny! You have no idea…”"
"“So you mean to tell me that as a doctor, you are not recommending the transplant, and when her kidneys fail in six months to a year, you want me to let her die because she is mentally retarded? There is no other medical reason for her not to have this transplant other than she is MENTALLY RETARDED!”
“Yes. This is hard for me, you know.”
My eyes burn through his soul as if I could set him on fire right there. “Ok, so now what? This is not acceptable to me. Who do I talk to next?”
“I will take this back to the team. We meet once a month. I will tell them I do not recommend Amelia for a transplant because she is mentally retarded and we will vote.”"
"“Well, you can then take it the ethics committee but as a team we have the final say. Feel free to go somewhere else. But it won’t be done here.”
They both get up and leave the room.
I look at Joe who is sobbing trying to get the stroller and Amelia’s backpack. I break down with him before we head to the parking garage."
Some people are calling Amelia's parents "liars". Some are saying she is embellishing the story. Some are hitting her for invoking emotional responses from the reader. As a mother, as a mother to a disabled child, and as a TRANSPLANT RECIPIENT *myself*, of course I have an EMOTIONAL response to this outrage!... And my parents had faced a VERY similar situation with me.
What also makes this sad and angering for me is that the Social Worker that met with Mia's parents, along side of the doctor, was rude, insensitive, unprofessional and it sounds like she almost ENJOYED going toe-to-toe with the mother, when Mom became "defensive" in the fight for her child's life.
Here is the statement that CHoP made on their "Like" page last night in regards to the entire situation...
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
"We have watched with great concern the comments regarding criteria used in making transplant eligibility decisions. We understand your concerns and reactions to the Facebook postings.
We strive to provide the safest possible care for our patients and we make transplant eligibility decisions based on widely-accepted, medically valid methods, with many factors considered. We want you to know that CHOP does not have any criteria which exclude patients from being considered for transplant solely on the basis of their cognitive status. Transplant programs at CHOP have never declined a patient for transplant based solely on their cognitive status and we have performed transplants on many children with disabilities and impairments.
CHOP’s transplant programs continue to evaluate and perform transplants on some of the most complex cases in the country. We use an established framework for consistent evaluation and transplantation. Each child is evaluated on an individual basis, taking multiple medical, surgical, and psychosocial aspects into consideration. In each evaluation, we consider the possible risk and outcome of the recipient, potential donor options, as well as alternative therapies.
In order to determine eligibility for transplantation, a multidisciplinary evaluation is completed by several members of the transplant team, which would include careful assessment of a patient by surgical and transplant specialists, as well as, psychosocial, and neurologic specialists. Parents and family members are very much a part of the discussion.
We wish to emphasize that all determinations of eligibility for transplantation are treated on an individual basis. We make all decisions regarding eligibility using a non-discriminatory approach, after a multidisciplinary assessment and discussion, which is the standard of practice throughout the country.
These communications are very important to us and provide us with an opportunity to always re-examine and reassess our approach and process. We hope that we can continue to improve and continue to provide exceptional care for children with organ failure."
Yes, be ANGRY at the Social Worker in question. Yes, be ANGRY with the "Specialist" doctor in question. And I say YES, to be angry with Children's Hospital of Philadelphia for obviously trying to "shut up" those of us in the Disability Community by deleting our posts of concern and shock at the outrage that lays before us. After all, the doctor and their Social Worker are REPRESENTIVES, faces if you will of CHoP.
And here is the face of those with Mental Disabilities who is in her own way, defacing the stigma and dogma of a society against her in the fight for the RIGHT to live as full and as long a life as she can have...
How can we in the 21st Century, in 2012 think of ANY person, child or adult, that is mentally handicapped (in any severity of the term) as just a piece of meat that is more fit for the trash can, than as a HUMAN BEING that have EVERY right as a "normal" person to live their life to the fullest measure and length as possible?
What is happening to this little innocent BABY and her parents is beyond deplorable and reprehensible.
How does a prisoner's "rights" outrank a (disabled) child's "rights" when it comes to LIFE-SAVING surgery? It's beyond my comprehension. To have this type of "backwards" thinking is an atrocity to mankind.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
On The Merry-Go-Round We Go!..Again.
Well, another appointment has come and gone. Another one minus his Case Manager. THIS time, due to a death in the family.
First of all, we talked about B.'s medications and his eating "habits" of BARELY eating. Especially since again, he has lost weight and is showing the visible signs of it.
So, the doctor and I have decided to cut back some on his Vyvanse by 20 mgs. I will be placing the contents of the entire capsule in to a glass of water, pour out 2 ounces of a 7 oz. glass, then have him drink the other 5 oz. of water to consume 50 mg. of the medicine. I should know in a couple of weeks of doing this if it was the right move.
As for the Seroquel and the Intuniv, they are staying at the same dose of 50 mg. and 2 mg. amounts.
If push comes to shove, I will strongly consider a drug that is used in cancer patients to induce hunger and the wanting to eat. This would hopefully counter the unwillingness to eat and help him gain his weight and proper amount of muscle mass back.
His spinning/walking backwards is apparently a compulsive problem. He does this a lot. Like in Sears and the mall, where he almost knocked some things over and almost hit in to people.
And I found out that the noises and the sniffling (constantly most times) is a couple of tics that he has developed. But I cannot say for certain that it is medication-induced, or brain-induced tics. I think that at the next appointment in April (or was that March?), I will ask about that.
Also, his nose bleeds have been more active.
The highlight to all of this? He hasn't been getting in to AS MUCH trouble in school as of late, with his behavior. Homework and attention? Still not that great. But we are working on it.
First of all, we talked about B.'s medications and his eating "habits" of BARELY eating. Especially since again, he has lost weight and is showing the visible signs of it.
So, the doctor and I have decided to cut back some on his Vyvanse by 20 mgs. I will be placing the contents of the entire capsule in to a glass of water, pour out 2 ounces of a 7 oz. glass, then have him drink the other 5 oz. of water to consume 50 mg. of the medicine. I should know in a couple of weeks of doing this if it was the right move.
As for the Seroquel and the Intuniv, they are staying at the same dose of 50 mg. and 2 mg. amounts.
If push comes to shove, I will strongly consider a drug that is used in cancer patients to induce hunger and the wanting to eat. This would hopefully counter the unwillingness to eat and help him gain his weight and proper amount of muscle mass back.
His spinning/walking backwards is apparently a compulsive problem. He does this a lot. Like in Sears and the mall, where he almost knocked some things over and almost hit in to people.
And I found out that the noises and the sniffling (constantly most times) is a couple of tics that he has developed. But I cannot say for certain that it is medication-induced, or brain-induced tics. I think that at the next appointment in April (or was that March?), I will ask about that.
Also, his nose bleeds have been more active.
The highlight to all of this? He hasn't been getting in to AS MUCH trouble in school as of late, with his behavior. Homework and attention? Still not that great. But we are working on it.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Special Needs Parent Monthly (#1)
Welcome to the kick off of a NEW blog series, where MONTHLY, I will feature a Special Needs Parent. If you are interested in being considered as a featured SN parent in a future posting, please email me at melmom2angels@yahoo.com.
First up is Robin. In her own words, she will tell of herself, her family, and her life with having a disabled child.
basic info....stay at home mom, married 16 years in Feb., I enjoy reading, photograghy and word games.
have 2 sons Derek 11 and Jacob 13..
life as a special needs parent well, I don't sleep much lol. it's a struggle to balance my time between my sons since Jacob needs so much of my time. Jacob was dxed at 2 years, he was a good baby, well a great baby...only cried when he was hungry. Everyone was jealous but in the back of my mind I was worried. He was To good! He didn't regress, he just reached milestones late. He didn't babble, point, or "play" like other kids his age. He started PT at 8 months, Ot and speech at 18 months and early intervention at 2.
He is in the 8th grade and I'm going to start home schooling next because he will be going into high school and I feel like he will benefit more from one on one and I can pay more attention to the areas that of important to Jacob. He LOVES music, football, water, and food. lol which is a challenge because he is on the gf/cf diet.
He's a good dancer. He has severe IBS and when he is in pain he becomes very aggressive. He doesn't know his own strength. He gives the best hugs in the world! He has a lot of sensory issues and likes deep pressure and massage.
He likes to be petted on his arms some times which gets us strange looks in public. lol Doesn't bother me, I'm outspoken if people are rude I let them know about it.
Autism is just part of our family....you learn to adjust your life accordingly. Jacob is non verbal so I am his voice....and I have a big mouth (hehe)!
First up is Robin. In her own words, she will tell of herself, her family, and her life with having a disabled child.
basic info....stay at home mom, married 16 years in Feb., I enjoy reading, photograghy and word games.
have 2 sons Derek 11 and Jacob 13..
life as a special needs parent well, I don't sleep much lol. it's a struggle to balance my time between my sons since Jacob needs so much of my time. Jacob was dxed at 2 years, he was a good baby, well a great baby...only cried when he was hungry. Everyone was jealous but in the back of my mind I was worried. He was To good! He didn't regress, he just reached milestones late. He didn't babble, point, or "play" like other kids his age. He started PT at 8 months, Ot and speech at 18 months and early intervention at 2.
He is in the 8th grade and I'm going to start home schooling next because he will be going into high school and I feel like he will benefit more from one on one and I can pay more attention to the areas that of important to Jacob. He LOVES music, football, water, and food. lol which is a challenge because he is on the gf/cf diet.
He's a good dancer. He has severe IBS and when he is in pain he becomes very aggressive. He doesn't know his own strength. He gives the best hugs in the world! He has a lot of sensory issues and likes deep pressure and massage.
He likes to be petted on his arms some times which gets us strange looks in public. lol Doesn't bother me, I'm outspoken if people are rude I let them know about it.
Autism is just part of our family....you learn to adjust your life accordingly. Jacob is non verbal so I am his voice....and I have a big mouth (hehe)!
Friday, December 30, 2011
The Perfect Night That Wasn't
Last night's trip to the mall was an embarrassment. Even Dad had a hard time with B. My oldest wanted to go to a few shops with her Christmas money. So we made it a (supposed to be) nice family outing. Dinner at Golden Corral and then the River Ridge Mall.
Even the restaurant thing kinda went downhill. But the mall trip was worse.
At the restaurant, he would barely sit in his seat, was boisterous and loud. He while in a happy mood at the time (which I AM thankful for) notably bothered certain surrounding customers with his "antics". It was almost like the viewing of things to come. And that was the MILD part of the evening.
Like I said, the mall was FAR worse.
He was running around, trying to get (way) too far ahead of us, walking BACKWARDS or spinning as we walked in the semi-crowded areas of the mall.
As we were ending our night in Sears, where we had initially parked, anyways, it was BAD. Constantly handling things, running in to and hiding in racks, running off and "escaping" down in to other areas of the general area that I was at.
It got so bad in Sears, that at one point, I grabbed him by his shirt collar and held on for dear life. Of course then I was "choking" him and he was almost yelling for me to let go. I am SOOO thankful that barely a customer was in that area.
He also tried to go out the "merchandise pick up" door just off from the girls/baby section. And of course, I stayed there with him and the older one, who was still shopping as Dad took the younger one to use the toilet.
I honest cannot say what got in to him to be so freaking high strung. But good Lord, I was sure that someone was gonna call CPS on me for "man handling" my kid as a means to corral him.
Oh! And he almost knocked over a couple of displays or hit people as he walked backwards AND spinning. Both in Sears and in the mall area its self.
It was just a washout of an evening. All thanks to one kid and his actions. What was meant to be a NICE family outing, turned in to a chaotic nightmare for all (as in the two sisters and myself and Dad).
*Vent over*
Even the restaurant thing kinda went downhill. But the mall trip was worse.
At the restaurant, he would barely sit in his seat, was boisterous and loud. He while in a happy mood at the time (which I AM thankful for) notably bothered certain surrounding customers with his "antics". It was almost like the viewing of things to come. And that was the MILD part of the evening.
Like I said, the mall was FAR worse.
He was running around, trying to get (way) too far ahead of us, walking BACKWARDS or spinning as we walked in the semi-crowded areas of the mall.
As we were ending our night in Sears, where we had initially parked, anyways, it was BAD. Constantly handling things, running in to and hiding in racks, running off and "escaping" down in to other areas of the general area that I was at.
It got so bad in Sears, that at one point, I grabbed him by his shirt collar and held on for dear life. Of course then I was "choking" him and he was almost yelling for me to let go. I am SOOO thankful that barely a customer was in that area.
He also tried to go out the "merchandise pick up" door just off from the girls/baby section. And of course, I stayed there with him and the older one, who was still shopping as Dad took the younger one to use the toilet.
I honest cannot say what got in to him to be so freaking high strung. But good Lord, I was sure that someone was gonna call CPS on me for "man handling" my kid as a means to corral him.
Oh! And he almost knocked over a couple of displays or hit people as he walked backwards AND spinning. Both in Sears and in the mall area its self.
It was just a washout of an evening. All thanks to one kid and his actions. What was meant to be a NICE family outing, turned in to a chaotic nightmare for all (as in the two sisters and myself and Dad).
*Vent over*
Thursday, December 29, 2011
"Invisible No More" (video)
Take a journey with these people and their stories of having hidden/invisible disabilities of varying degrees and ailments.
This is an introduction to those that have been willing to come to the forefront and be the "face" of the Peoples with Invisible Disabilities Community.
Pete Monfre
Lauri Cohen
Andrea Fabry
**DISCLAIMER;**
I own NOTHING. These videos are provided through a YouTube channel for the Invisible No More Organization. And are solely for educational purposes, only.
This is an introduction to those that have been willing to come to the forefront and be the "face" of the Peoples with Invisible Disabilities Community.
Pete Monfre
Lauri Cohen
Andrea Fabry
**DISCLAIMER;**
I own NOTHING. These videos are provided through a YouTube channel for the Invisible No More Organization. And are solely for educational purposes, only.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Spanking a Disabled Child vs Not Spanking & Punishment In General; SN vs NT Kids
I'm a spanking parent. I have spanked my son as needed through the years. Of course, he is of an age and height that I have been able to find other means of punishment (like taking toys/games/computer time away). But the youngest who is 7 years old, though a rare thing, still gets spanked IF the "punishment fits the crime".
I have a friend on FaceBook who had been faced with a dilemma. Her child is three years old, disabled, and has yet to be diagnosed with Autism or any other mental delays. The other day at a family function, her husband had spanked their daughter for BITING, as well as hitting. And not a child, but another adult.
Her husband works a lot at his second shift job and only really sees the child on the weekends.
Mom isn't much on spanking, but Dad is. And when the little girl bit and hit the adult, the Dad got a hold of his daughter and spanked her for her actions. Needless to say, Mom wasn't pleased with how he handled the situation. She said it was more about the embarrassment of it happening in front of the family than anything else.
After hearing (or shall I say, reading) everything, I stated that the Mom can't really be mad at him. If he isn't able to be there due to working a lot, then he hasn't had the time (or maybe even the energy) to be TAUGHT (by her) of what works best with their daughter. You cannot just "assume" he SHOULD know how to help handle her, when he isn't there a lot of the time to learn by watching, listening or hands-on.
She needs to (calmly) approach him when they are BOTH free to get together, and talk with him and teach him what works best with your child. If she doesn't take the time to voice to him what works/doesn't work, then he won't know the BEST options of how to punish/redirect/handle his child.
In time, she will learn the differences of when it's her daughter just being a typical kid getting in to trouble, and between it REALLY being the disability showing through.
But even for as long as I have known the lowdown on my kid, I STILL have moments of wondering which way it is really swinging. In the end though, I try really, REALLY hard to NOT use the "he is disabled and has a lot of problems" excuse with him.
He is treated, talked to, and (most of the time) interacted with on the same level as his sisters. As in, he gets in to trouble just as much as they do.
I don't let my kid use his disabilities as an excuse 100% of the time. If I do/did, then HE would think that he can get out of trouble ALL of the time.
To me, he is just as "normal" as his nutty sisters are. He is just more matter-of-fact and sensitive emotionally than the girls.
I sometimes get HIGHLY embarrassed due to my son's actions, reactions and behaviors. No doubt. But even then, you cannot always "excuse" their behavior on their disabilities.
You have to learn and KEEP a balance between typical kid and disabled kid. Or else, they WILL grow up to think that they can (some literally) get away with murder.
And don't EVER be embarrassed to defuse a situation (such as biting and hitting someone) in front of others. I have done it on many occasions and WON'T be afraid to do so in the future, if need be.
You just need to find that balance, and the key to successful behavior management where child's concerned. Because they are unique individuals, and what works for me or any of the other parents, may not necessarily work for YOUR child, and you BOTH as their parents. There MUST be a middle ground that is firmly established.
Believe me when I say that I have had to (literally) peel my son off of one of his sisters as he bit them and used them for a punching bag. Seriously injuring the baby when she WAS a baby (bruises and a bonked head from being shoved off a toddler bed). Over NOTHING at all. Just got it in himself to start beating the holy hell out of her.
I don't care if a person spanks or not. When it comes to hitting and biting, you MUST take care of the problem RIGHT THEN. Not later in the day. Be it if the child is one year old or 15 years old. Biting and hitting, especially an adult, or a child YOUNGER than the one doing the hitting/biting, is a huge "no-no" that has NO excuses.
In that instance, wrong is wrong. No matter the reason. No matter the mental capacity. No matter if the child is "normal" or "disabled".
My philosophy is, if my "normal brained" girls are NOT allowed to behave in a certain manner (hitting, biting, stealing, cursing), then neither is my "mentally challenged" son.
How is honestly fair for me to excuse the actions of the one, and not of the two? That can and will build up resentment in his sisters against their brother, and against me if I was to excuse everything on the basis of his diagnoses.
Every single day it is indeed a struggle to find THAT balance between "normal childhood" behavior, and "disability-driven" behaviors. Some things though, should be no-brainer behaviors that no matter the mental capacity, should NEVER be tolerated or excused due to said disability.
And like a fellow group member had stated, not everything will work with everyone, nor will everyone believe that corporal punishment should be utilized. I say if used CORRECTLY and in the right situations, it CAN be an effective tool.
But not every offense deserves having a spanking. Just like not every offense deserves a month-long grounding.
I think a lot of my views stem from my own childhood. I WAS a disabled child. And my dad treated me as a normal kid. My mom on the other hand "babied" me. And she did it so much, to such an extent, that it really did tarnish my childhood, and made me resent her later on in life, for YEARS. Even after she died.
There is a time to use the "disability card" (my name for it), and when NOT to. Most times, it was just me being a kid. But to her, I did NO wrong, even when it was clear that I WAS in the wrong. So, I never got in trouble (if I did by her, it was VERY rare) unless my dad was there. And then, I got what he felt I deserved. Yes, that did include a spanking here and there.
The more I recall it all, and the more I think on it, I truly believe I got myself in to trouble, especially around my dad as much as I did, was because I THRIVED on it. I felt like a "normal" little kid.
I have a friend on FaceBook who had been faced with a dilemma. Her child is three years old, disabled, and has yet to be diagnosed with Autism or any other mental delays. The other day at a family function, her husband had spanked their daughter for BITING, as well as hitting. And not a child, but another adult.
Her husband works a lot at his second shift job and only really sees the child on the weekends.
Mom isn't much on spanking, but Dad is. And when the little girl bit and hit the adult, the Dad got a hold of his daughter and spanked her for her actions. Needless to say, Mom wasn't pleased with how he handled the situation. She said it was more about the embarrassment of it happening in front of the family than anything else.
After hearing (or shall I say, reading) everything, I stated that the Mom can't really be mad at him. If he isn't able to be there due to working a lot, then he hasn't had the time (or maybe even the energy) to be TAUGHT (by her) of what works best with their daughter. You cannot just "assume" he SHOULD know how to help handle her, when he isn't there a lot of the time to learn by watching, listening or hands-on.
She needs to (calmly) approach him when they are BOTH free to get together, and talk with him and teach him what works best with your child. If she doesn't take the time to voice to him what works/doesn't work, then he won't know the BEST options of how to punish/redirect/handle his child.
In time, she will learn the differences of when it's her daughter just being a typical kid getting in to trouble, and between it REALLY being the disability showing through.
But even for as long as I have known the lowdown on my kid, I STILL have moments of wondering which way it is really swinging. In the end though, I try really, REALLY hard to NOT use the "he is disabled and has a lot of problems" excuse with him.
He is treated, talked to, and (most of the time) interacted with on the same level as his sisters. As in, he gets in to trouble just as much as they do.
I don't let my kid use his disabilities as an excuse 100% of the time. If I do/did, then HE would think that he can get out of trouble ALL of the time.
To me, he is just as "normal" as his nutty sisters are. He is just more matter-of-fact and sensitive emotionally than the girls.
I sometimes get HIGHLY embarrassed due to my son's actions, reactions and behaviors. No doubt. But even then, you cannot always "excuse" their behavior on their disabilities.
You have to learn and KEEP a balance between typical kid and disabled kid. Or else, they WILL grow up to think that they can (some literally) get away with murder.
And don't EVER be embarrassed to defuse a situation (such as biting and hitting someone) in front of others. I have done it on many occasions and WON'T be afraid to do so in the future, if need be.
You just need to find that balance, and the key to successful behavior management where child's concerned. Because they are unique individuals, and what works for me or any of the other parents, may not necessarily work for YOUR child, and you BOTH as their parents. There MUST be a middle ground that is firmly established.
Believe me when I say that I have had to (literally) peel my son off of one of his sisters as he bit them and used them for a punching bag. Seriously injuring the baby when she WAS a baby (bruises and a bonked head from being shoved off a toddler bed). Over NOTHING at all. Just got it in himself to start beating the holy hell out of her.
I don't care if a person spanks or not. When it comes to hitting and biting, you MUST take care of the problem RIGHT THEN. Not later in the day. Be it if the child is one year old or 15 years old. Biting and hitting, especially an adult, or a child YOUNGER than the one doing the hitting/biting, is a huge "no-no" that has NO excuses.
In that instance, wrong is wrong. No matter the reason. No matter the mental capacity. No matter if the child is "normal" or "disabled".
My philosophy is, if my "normal brained" girls are NOT allowed to behave in a certain manner (hitting, biting, stealing, cursing), then neither is my "mentally challenged" son.
How is honestly fair for me to excuse the actions of the one, and not of the two? That can and will build up resentment in his sisters against their brother, and against me if I was to excuse everything on the basis of his diagnoses.
Every single day it is indeed a struggle to find THAT balance between "normal childhood" behavior, and "disability-driven" behaviors. Some things though, should be no-brainer behaviors that no matter the mental capacity, should NEVER be tolerated or excused due to said disability.
And like a fellow group member had stated, not everything will work with everyone, nor will everyone believe that corporal punishment should be utilized. I say if used CORRECTLY and in the right situations, it CAN be an effective tool.
But not every offense deserves having a spanking. Just like not every offense deserves a month-long grounding.
I think a lot of my views stem from my own childhood. I WAS a disabled child. And my dad treated me as a normal kid. My mom on the other hand "babied" me. And she did it so much, to such an extent, that it really did tarnish my childhood, and made me resent her later on in life, for YEARS. Even after she died.
There is a time to use the "disability card" (my name for it), and when NOT to. Most times, it was just me being a kid. But to her, I did NO wrong, even when it was clear that I WAS in the wrong. So, I never got in trouble (if I did by her, it was VERY rare) unless my dad was there. And then, I got what he felt I deserved. Yes, that did include a spanking here and there.
The more I recall it all, and the more I think on it, I truly believe I got myself in to trouble, especially around my dad as much as I did, was because I THRIVED on it. I felt like a "normal" little kid.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Enabling vs Disabling
Thanks is going out to a fellow Special Needs mom, Amy, over on FaceBook, who I have become friends with, and her "push" for me to post the following.
We met in a WONDERFUL group for parents like ourselves who are parents to kids that are disabled. And it's a locally-based group for our region, but we accept people from outside the Virginia state lines, as well.
The group is called Parents For Progress, or P4P for short. Our kids have ALL different types of disabilities and mental capacity. We sometimes DO disagree, but never get cut-throat.
So without further ado...
Just two summers ago, I learned how to swim/float for the first time. I was 33 years old (now 35)! If I had what I needed to have done BY the time I almost turned 6 or 7 years old, then I would have learned to swim much earlier, among other things.
Sometimes, even all of these years later, I can find myself angry at my mom for disabling me even more and literally taking away my childhood. And I refuse to let my son to think/feel about me, let alone his sisters for doing the same to them.
I love my mom, and always will. But ever since I can remember, I vowed and have kept my word to it, to NEVER be like her, where parenting is concerned. Even after she had died. And to this day, I will have a moment of anger and resentment pop in to my head. Especially around the anniversary of my "official removal" of my trache tube (December 1, 1989... not even two months after my mom died).
Heck, the way I have been told in the past, I was THE reason why my parents never had anymore children after me. She was scared another baby "would turn out to have the same problems"... Um, MY problems were *somewhat* because of her (having a 50 LB tumor sitting next to me in-utero).
I was extremely tiny and lightweight at birth. I was born almost a month early with extreme fluid on my lung (which collapsed from the pressure and weight of the fluid) and a esophageal fistula (a break in my esophagus tract to determine between the airway and the stomach routes). I died on the operating table like 2 to 4 times in the 18-hour repair surgery (after a touchy care-flight ride to another hospital when I was LESS than 24 hours old), which forever changed the appearance of my shoulder blade area on the right side (and left me asymmetrical in the breast area).
From the day of my birth, she basically (at first, I understood being that I was so tiny and helpless, and gravely ill with having NO hope for a chance at life, really) became a "helicopter mom". Later in my elementary school years, she was STILL so overly protective, that not only did she volunteer, but also was a yard duty person at lunchtime, a lunchroom supervisor, but decided to also become an "assistant" for MY classroom or one near me as to "keep an eye on Missy"... In other words, I had NO break from her. She watched me like a hawk. 24/7. If I did go to a friend's house, most times, she would constantly check on me in one way or another.
Now, maybe some people, especially fellow parents, like myself, of disabled children, can see it from our kid's perspective as well when it comes to being either too lenient, too harsh or too overprotective (or even NOT protective enough).
I know all too well the fine line EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US walks on a daily basis with our kids. It's such a difficult balancing act. But they also thrive on being treated as "just another normal kid". Even when getting in to trouble.
We met in a WONDERFUL group for parents like ourselves who are parents to kids that are disabled. And it's a locally-based group for our region, but we accept people from outside the Virginia state lines, as well.
The group is called Parents For Progress, or P4P for short. Our kids have ALL different types of disabilities and mental capacity. We sometimes DO disagree, but never get cut-throat.
So without further ado...
Just two summers ago, I learned how to swim/float for the first time. I was 33 years old (now 35)! If I had what I needed to have done BY the time I almost turned 6 or 7 years old, then I would have learned to swim much earlier, among other things.
Sometimes, even all of these years later, I can find myself angry at my mom for disabling me even more and literally taking away my childhood. And I refuse to let my son to think/feel about me, let alone his sisters for doing the same to them.
I love my mom, and always will. But ever since I can remember, I vowed and have kept my word to it, to NEVER be like her, where parenting is concerned. Even after she had died. And to this day, I will have a moment of anger and resentment pop in to my head. Especially around the anniversary of my "official removal" of my trache tube (December 1, 1989... not even two months after my mom died).
Heck, the way I have been told in the past, I was THE reason why my parents never had anymore children after me. She was scared another baby "would turn out to have the same problems"... Um, MY problems were *somewhat* because of her (having a 50 LB tumor sitting next to me in-utero).
I was extremely tiny and lightweight at birth. I was born almost a month early with extreme fluid on my lung (which collapsed from the pressure and weight of the fluid) and a esophageal fistula (a break in my esophagus tract to determine between the airway and the stomach routes). I died on the operating table like 2 to 4 times in the 18-hour repair surgery (after a touchy care-flight ride to another hospital when I was LESS than 24 hours old), which forever changed the appearance of my shoulder blade area on the right side (and left me asymmetrical in the breast area).
From the day of my birth, she basically (at first, I understood being that I was so tiny and helpless, and gravely ill with having NO hope for a chance at life, really) became a "helicopter mom". Later in my elementary school years, she was STILL so overly protective, that not only did she volunteer, but also was a yard duty person at lunchtime, a lunchroom supervisor, but decided to also become an "assistant" for MY classroom or one near me as to "keep an eye on Missy"... In other words, I had NO break from her. She watched me like a hawk. 24/7. If I did go to a friend's house, most times, she would constantly check on me in one way or another.
Now, maybe some people, especially fellow parents, like myself, of disabled children, can see it from our kid's perspective as well when it comes to being either too lenient, too harsh or too overprotective (or even NOT protective enough).
I know all too well the fine line EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US walks on a daily basis with our kids. It's such a difficult balancing act. But they also thrive on being treated as "just another normal kid". Even when getting in to trouble.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
NT Parents vs. SN Parents
I am a mother.
I am a mother to three children.
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems".
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems", but that I love all equally.
You say that there is NO way you could do what I do, put up with what I put up with, and defend what I have to defend.
You say we are a strong, but rare breed. But there are more parents like me than you most likely even know. Because we don't look to be recognized or placed on a pedestal.
We do what we have to do, when we have to do it, as to ensure that our "special" kids are getting everything in life that they deserve.
That includes being as close to "normal" as we can get them. And to obtain the specialized services, that though are supposed to be rendered by Federally mandated Laws, are not always put in to place.
We rejoice at what most people take for granted. Especially when they are "late bloomers". We cry from the frustration. Not just our own, but the frustrations that our children display.
We want what ALL (okay, MOST) parents want for their kids. A better and fulfilling life.
You and I aren't THAT different in the world of Parenting. We, like our children, just do things a little bit different from the rest of you. And we see things (like first words, first steps and the other norms of growing up) a tad bit differently as well.
Other than that, I'm not much different from you. And yes, you CAN do what I do on a daily basis. Because when push comes to shove, when it comes to your child, you would do most ANYTHING and move every mountain and boulder to help your child achieve their very best potential.
Do I want to just throw my hands up and quit? YES! Sometimes, the fight to help your child achieve can really tire you emotionally and mentally. As can their daily struggles and fights of will. But in the end, no matter how much you want to just turn around and walk away, you CAN'T. You know for a fact that you have invested WAY too much time, energy, and most important, love in to helping your children succeed to the best of their ability.
So, the next time you think to yourself that you could "never do my job as a parent", or think I must be a lot stronger than you, take a step back and think, and know that when it all comes down to that fine line in the sand, there is really no line at all.
I am a mother to three children.
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems".
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems", but that I love all equally.
You say that there is NO way you could do what I do, put up with what I put up with, and defend what I have to defend.
You say we are a strong, but rare breed. But there are more parents like me than you most likely even know. Because we don't look to be recognized or placed on a pedestal.
We do what we have to do, when we have to do it, as to ensure that our "special" kids are getting everything in life that they deserve.
That includes being as close to "normal" as we can get them. And to obtain the specialized services, that though are supposed to be rendered by Federally mandated Laws, are not always put in to place.
We rejoice at what most people take for granted. Especially when they are "late bloomers". We cry from the frustration. Not just our own, but the frustrations that our children display.
We want what ALL (okay, MOST) parents want for their kids. A better and fulfilling life.
You and I aren't THAT different in the world of Parenting. We, like our children, just do things a little bit different from the rest of you. And we see things (like first words, first steps and the other norms of growing up) a tad bit differently as well.
Other than that, I'm not much different from you. And yes, you CAN do what I do on a daily basis. Because when push comes to shove, when it comes to your child, you would do most ANYTHING and move every mountain and boulder to help your child achieve their very best potential.
Do I want to just throw my hands up and quit? YES! Sometimes, the fight to help your child achieve can really tire you emotionally and mentally. As can their daily struggles and fights of will. But in the end, no matter how much you want to just turn around and walk away, you CAN'T. You know for a fact that you have invested WAY too much time, energy, and most important, love in to helping your children succeed to the best of their ability.
So, the next time you think to yourself that you could "never do my job as a parent", or think I must be a lot stronger than you, take a step back and think, and know that when it all comes down to that fine line in the sand, there is really no line at all.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
SEVERELY Mentally Handicapped Kids *Tourtured* By Own Mother
I'll just let you watch the video and let it speak for its self... Because I honestly have NO words.
Posted on YouTube on Nov. 11th, 2011 from a local news channel in St. Petersberg.
GRAPHIC DETAILS!
Posted on YouTube on Nov. 11th, 2011 from a local news channel in St. Petersberg.
GRAPHIC DETAILS!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
If You Are A Parent Who is Being *Abused* By Your Kids...
First of all, know you aren't alone with being physically ABUSED... yes, abused, by your child. I have been verbally, emotionally abused, assaulted and my life threatened. All by my child.
It had taken me a long time to accept the fact that I was being abused by my own child. When you are left with marks or scars because of your children's actions, or you have things pulled out on you (like knives, hammers and scissors), and have your very LIFE IT'S SELF *threatened* and/or in jeopardy, that is constituted by law as ABUSE. Even if it's by a minor child.
As for medications (no matter the reason for taking them), if you have stopped them, YES, you have to let the doctor know. Tell them exactly why you did it. They have to know for various reasons. That goes for ANY doctors that have taken charge of taking care of your child medically! They base what is being taken as to if they can use other meds for other reasons as to ensure that there isn't any deadly mixings/cross medicatings.
If your child is getting so out of hand, no matter if just at home, both there and at school, or both of them AND within community settings (restaurants, the store, etc.), that behavior modifications (like a reward system and punishment system) are not working, then it MAY BE time to start thinking about ADD/ADHD (if they have it, too) medications and even Mood Stabilizers (like the Seroquel that B is on).
As for DENIAL that something is truly wrong with our kids, and the fact that they need more help than we can give on our own, we ALL go through it. Especially us moms of children such as ours. But also, you have to look at it from THEIR perspective, too.
Our kids do NOT want to be "bad" kids who are different in that view of them. All in all, they ARE *good* kids, but have brains that are hardwired completely different from their peers and from most other people in general.
Medications for the mentally unstable, for KIDS, has gotten SO many bad "reports". Mainly from those that have NEVER even tried them, and are unwilling to try them for their children as a part of their overall therapy.
True, not every child NEEDS to be medicated. But, most of the time, the ones that NEED it, don't get it, and the ones that DON'T need it, are the ones being "doped up".
In the end, the ONLY ones that can determine for certain that your child needs medications that will help with their mental issues is you, the doctor in charge of your child's care (Psychiatrist) and the child (more so their overall mental state).
Yes, I know that dealing with the agencies and doctors, and therapists CAN be a pain in the butt, in the end, it makes life SO much easier, when what SHOULD HAVE ALREADY been done IS being done.
Easier for them and their day-to-day life, and for US as their parents as well.
It had taken me a long time to accept the fact that I was being abused by my own child. When you are left with marks or scars because of your children's actions, or you have things pulled out on you (like knives, hammers and scissors), and have your very LIFE IT'S SELF *threatened* and/or in jeopardy, that is constituted by law as ABUSE. Even if it's by a minor child.
As for medications (no matter the reason for taking them), if you have stopped them, YES, you have to let the doctor know. Tell them exactly why you did it. They have to know for various reasons. That goes for ANY doctors that have taken charge of taking care of your child medically! They base what is being taken as to if they can use other meds for other reasons as to ensure that there isn't any deadly mixings/cross medicatings.
If your child is getting so out of hand, no matter if just at home, both there and at school, or both of them AND within community settings (restaurants, the store, etc.), that behavior modifications (like a reward system and punishment system) are not working, then it MAY BE time to start thinking about ADD/ADHD (if they have it, too) medications and even Mood Stabilizers (like the Seroquel that B is on).
As for DENIAL that something is truly wrong with our kids, and the fact that they need more help than we can give on our own, we ALL go through it. Especially us moms of children such as ours. But also, you have to look at it from THEIR perspective, too.
Our kids do NOT want to be "bad" kids who are different in that view of them. All in all, they ARE *good* kids, but have brains that are hardwired completely different from their peers and from most other people in general.
Medications for the mentally unstable, for KIDS, has gotten SO many bad "reports". Mainly from those that have NEVER even tried them, and are unwilling to try them for their children as a part of their overall therapy.
True, not every child NEEDS to be medicated. But, most of the time, the ones that NEED it, don't get it, and the ones that DON'T need it, are the ones being "doped up".
In the end, the ONLY ones that can determine for certain that your child needs medications that will help with their mental issues is you, the doctor in charge of your child's care (Psychiatrist) and the child (more so their overall mental state).
Yes, I know that dealing with the agencies and doctors, and therapists CAN be a pain in the butt, in the end, it makes life SO much easier, when what SHOULD HAVE ALREADY been done IS being done.
Easier for them and their day-to-day life, and for US as their parents as well.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Psych. Appt. Update..
All went well. We will work on organizational skills in regards to B's homework and school bag/folders. As well as making certain he brings his Agenda home, WITH his assignments written in so we can initial them as he gets them done each day.
The doctor is pleased that I was able to take B off of his Seroquel (I did it on my own, without doctor's permission, seeing as the dr. knew I would eventually decide when to try) with POSITIVE results in his mood (especially in the mornings) and sleeping/waking pattern. I no longer struggle in the mornings with him and his having nasty mood swings, or having him OVER sleep on the weekends, also with bad results.
He is still on his two ADHD medications. Vyvanse in the morning and the Intuniv at bedtime. Highest dose possible for the Vyvanse, still, and the 2 mg. dose out of possible 3 for the Intuniv.
Next appointment will be in January. And yes, the Case Manager was there and was instructed by the doctor to HELP with me getting him to better organize and to check in frequently with us as a family.
Case Manager "funny"... We told her how B's been doing in school. We mentioned his two C's for NOT turning in his homework and that we are taking steps to correct the problem. She interjects with "be sure to praise him when he does something right" when I mentioned that B said he was NOW turning in his homework.
Right then and there, I and my husband BOTH cut her off with a look of shock I think. We said that we DO praise him. But I refuse to let my child try to turn the tables and change the subject as to get out of getting in to trouble for his lack of responsibility with HIS homework.
Her eyes got big when we said that while we are glad he IS "turning it in now", as B stated, we aren't going to ALWAYS use the "5 positives for 1 negative" rule.
Funny. She rarely sees my son, calls to check up on him and us, and only really has us sign papers. I don't see that as qualifying to TELL ME what I "need" to do. If she were involved more with him and with us on a more personal level (calling, coming for home visits, etc.), then I would see it differently.
The doctor is pleased that I was able to take B off of his Seroquel (I did it on my own, without doctor's permission, seeing as the dr. knew I would eventually decide when to try) with POSITIVE results in his mood (especially in the mornings) and sleeping/waking pattern. I no longer struggle in the mornings with him and his having nasty mood swings, or having him OVER sleep on the weekends, also with bad results.
He is still on his two ADHD medications. Vyvanse in the morning and the Intuniv at bedtime. Highest dose possible for the Vyvanse, still, and the 2 mg. dose out of possible 3 for the Intuniv.
Next appointment will be in January. And yes, the Case Manager was there and was instructed by the doctor to HELP with me getting him to better organize and to check in frequently with us as a family.
Case Manager "funny"... We told her how B's been doing in school. We mentioned his two C's for NOT turning in his homework and that we are taking steps to correct the problem. She interjects with "be sure to praise him when he does something right" when I mentioned that B said he was NOW turning in his homework.
Right then and there, I and my husband BOTH cut her off with a look of shock I think. We said that we DO praise him. But I refuse to let my child try to turn the tables and change the subject as to get out of getting in to trouble for his lack of responsibility with HIS homework.
Her eyes got big when we said that while we are glad he IS "turning it in now", as B stated, we aren't going to ALWAYS use the "5 positives for 1 negative" rule.
Funny. She rarely sees my son, calls to check up on him and us, and only really has us sign papers. I don't see that as qualifying to TELL ME what I "need" to do. If she were involved more with him and with us on a more personal level (calling, coming for home visits, etc.), then I would see it differently.
Monday, October 10, 2011
UPDATE
He's fine. Took him off one of his meds myself. Doing good for the most part in school. Great teacher.
Short and sweet being I know it won't really be read.
May not do another post for a good while. Seeing as I haven't blogged in here for OVER a month, and no one missed me.
Sorry. I have a life. Laters!
The end.
Short and sweet being I know it won't really be read.
May not do another post for a good while. Seeing as I haven't blogged in here for OVER a month, and no one missed me.
Sorry. I have a life. Laters!
The end.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
So Far, So Good.. Sort Of
EVERYTHING thus far in school is going well. For the most part. Mornings are a tad bit bumpy here at home. The usual grumpiness, and slight attitude in the voice. He had been non-compliant as of late in regards to getting a move on and ensuring he got everything accomplished, including medicine.
So he went to school without medication for two days last week. That's on him. I have decided to not fight him. It's HIS problem, not mine. Let the school call CPS on me for not drugging my kid.
I'm not fighting him in the morning anymore. I have OTHER kids to attend to and ready for school besides him. And I'm not up to having myself kicked, hit, punched and screamed at abusively anymore.
He is now in Fifth Grade. He needs to act like it. That includes making sure that BEFORE he leaves the house, to take his medicine. Or not being passive-aggressive when I mention the fact he needs to take it.
*Wander with me over at FOR THE LOVE OF BLOGS and join in the fun!*
So he went to school without medication for two days last week. That's on him. I have decided to not fight him. It's HIS problem, not mine. Let the school call CPS on me for not drugging my kid.
I'm not fighting him in the morning anymore. I have OTHER kids to attend to and ready for school besides him. And I'm not up to having myself kicked, hit, punched and screamed at abusively anymore.
He is now in Fifth Grade. He needs to act like it. That includes making sure that BEFORE he leaves the house, to take his medicine. Or not being passive-aggressive when I mention the fact he needs to take it.
*Wander with me over at FOR THE LOVE OF BLOGS and join in the fun!*
Friday, August 19, 2011
Changes
On Tuesday, I had to work the Volunteer table at registration. After getting there, I registered the two kids that still will be attending (third is going to Middle School).
The School Nurse was seated in the Library and I was in the cafeteria. But this nurse was NOT the same nurse as from the previous school years. And knowing how busy she is, sometimes (due to health) she needs a sub nurse. Which is what I had thought of as I had seen the lady sitting at the desk.
Come to find out, that this woman IS the School Nurse, and is replacing the one that I have come to value as a friend, and whom my son was EXTREMELY attached to.
As I am sitting in my spot at Registration, another friend comes up, who's child is going to Second grade, and is a Title 1 Reading Aide to say hi. We haven't talked all summer. Well, then SHE to drops a bombshell. She is leaving at the end of the month to work in a Dentist's office, in the same building as her twin sister.
Needless to say, telling B was no picnic. And he wasn't all too happy. But also, where the School Nurse is concerned, I can ALREADY see it coming. That is, unless his Homeroom Teacher (and my oldest's former teacher, and she also taught my husband in third grade, many moons ago) catches on to the tricks first and thwarts his idea.
B can be highly manipulative. And if you don't know his subtle ways, his mannerisms and his voice changes, he can EASILY pull a fast one on you. And it usually happens when he doesn't want to do something, trying to get out of classwork or a test or is in an environment he doesn't care to be in at the moment.
The former school's nurse knew ALL of his tricks. She knew when she needed to call me. She knew when she just needed to shoo him off back to class. She even knew when he HONESTLY did not get his Vyvanse that particular morning, and instead of calling, knowing B NEVER, EVER lies about it, just would give him his pill and then send him on his merry little way.
This year, I can see A LOT of phone calls from the nurse in my future. Then again, knowing the teacher, she will be able to catch him in his little cat/mouse game and thwart his ruse. Because she is just that covered and smothered in Awesome Sauce!.. I at least hope.
The School Nurse was seated in the Library and I was in the cafeteria. But this nurse was NOT the same nurse as from the previous school years. And knowing how busy she is, sometimes (due to health) she needs a sub nurse. Which is what I had thought of as I had seen the lady sitting at the desk.
Come to find out, that this woman IS the School Nurse, and is replacing the one that I have come to value as a friend, and whom my son was EXTREMELY attached to.
As I am sitting in my spot at Registration, another friend comes up, who's child is going to Second grade, and is a Title 1 Reading Aide to say hi. We haven't talked all summer. Well, then SHE to drops a bombshell. She is leaving at the end of the month to work in a Dentist's office, in the same building as her twin sister.
Needless to say, telling B was no picnic. And he wasn't all too happy. But also, where the School Nurse is concerned, I can ALREADY see it coming. That is, unless his Homeroom Teacher (and my oldest's former teacher, and she also taught my husband in third grade, many moons ago) catches on to the tricks first and thwarts his idea.
B can be highly manipulative. And if you don't know his subtle ways, his mannerisms and his voice changes, he can EASILY pull a fast one on you. And it usually happens when he doesn't want to do something, trying to get out of classwork or a test or is in an environment he doesn't care to be in at the moment.
The former school's nurse knew ALL of his tricks. She knew when she needed to call me. She knew when she just needed to shoo him off back to class. She even knew when he HONESTLY did not get his Vyvanse that particular morning, and instead of calling, knowing B NEVER, EVER lies about it, just would give him his pill and then send him on his merry little way.
This year, I can see A LOT of phone calls from the nurse in my future. Then again, knowing the teacher, she will be able to catch him in his little cat/mouse game and thwart his ruse. Because she is just that covered and smothered in Awesome Sauce!.. I at least hope.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Schoolward Bound. Fifth Grade, Here He Comes!!
This past week we are about to leave, and the one that is coming upon us has been and will be fairly busy. It's back to school time. And I think that ALL of us are ready. For the most part, anyways.
This week was filled with filling out paperwork, taking in paperwork to be filled out by Medical Professionals, a doctor appointment and school supply shopping.
Geez! Just thinking of what I just listed, I'm tired all over again! *hehe* (=
This coming week, it's REGISTRATION time! And this means now, TWO different schools for three different kids. My oldest is moving on to Middle School.
B is in fifth grade this year. And thankfully, I was able to place him in with my oldest's former homeroom teacher, who is the ONLY one of the three in their grade to be Special Education certified.
It also helps that she taught my HUSBAND when he was a kid at another school, for the third grade. And she started LAST school year to acclimate him by saying good morning to him, giving him his "morning hug" (their classrooms were next to one another at the time between the two grades). And she already has gotten an idea of what his needs will be with classroom placement and what will possibly work best to get the best ability out of his potential.
She runs a pretty tight ship. You do as expected, she is your BFF. You decide to make her life hell and not do as instructed, then your ass is grass. And he needs that kind of firm structure. And she is already on to his manipulations. BONUS!
Do I worry? Yep! But not as much as I have with the teachers of the past in regards to B. This lady is one of the best in her field. And one of the most patient and kind. But also one of the most strict and not able to be bamboozled, too.
I'll more so worry NEXT year, then I will THIS year. Because there is a VERY good chance that B and his older sister will NOT be in the same Middle School, being she was accepted in to a school across town that takes those that are highly advanced/gifted. If she is able to remain there next school year (2012-2013), then he will be in our Zone School for Middle School all on his own.
Yes, he too is advanced in most areas of study. But he doesn't have the work ethic and focus for a Gifted Program. Thanks to his emotional instability, lack of maturity, and his severe ADHD it takes him out of the running for advancement such as what his sister is in. And it hurts me. But at the same time, I can safely say that a setting such as that is clearly not for him.
Should I compare? No. But it is extremely hard to NOT see the difference versus the similarities.
You sometimes, I feel, HAVE TO compare the "odd one out" to the others because it forces you to see just how different the one with the problems truly is from most of society. It makes you step back and think a little more and be more compassionate, understanding and willing to have more patience. Not just with YOUR child with Silent Disabilities, but other children (and adults) with the same afflictions as well.
So, here is to (hopefully) smooth sailing for this school year. In just over a week, and then all three are off on another school-year adventure of learning and fun. But this year, it will be minus their big sister. And I think they will do just fine.
This week was filled with filling out paperwork, taking in paperwork to be filled out by Medical Professionals, a doctor appointment and school supply shopping.
Geez! Just thinking of what I just listed, I'm tired all over again! *hehe* (=
This coming week, it's REGISTRATION time! And this means now, TWO different schools for three different kids. My oldest is moving on to Middle School.
B is in fifth grade this year. And thankfully, I was able to place him in with my oldest's former homeroom teacher, who is the ONLY one of the three in their grade to be Special Education certified.
It also helps that she taught my HUSBAND when he was a kid at another school, for the third grade. And she started LAST school year to acclimate him by saying good morning to him, giving him his "morning hug" (their classrooms were next to one another at the time between the two grades). And she already has gotten an idea of what his needs will be with classroom placement and what will possibly work best to get the best ability out of his potential.
She runs a pretty tight ship. You do as expected, she is your BFF. You decide to make her life hell and not do as instructed, then your ass is grass. And he needs that kind of firm structure. And she is already on to his manipulations. BONUS!
Do I worry? Yep! But not as much as I have with the teachers of the past in regards to B. This lady is one of the best in her field. And one of the most patient and kind. But also one of the most strict and not able to be bamboozled, too.
I'll more so worry NEXT year, then I will THIS year. Because there is a VERY good chance that B and his older sister will NOT be in the same Middle School, being she was accepted in to a school across town that takes those that are highly advanced/gifted. If she is able to remain there next school year (2012-2013), then he will be in our Zone School for Middle School all on his own.
Yes, he too is advanced in most areas of study. But he doesn't have the work ethic and focus for a Gifted Program. Thanks to his emotional instability, lack of maturity, and his severe ADHD it takes him out of the running for advancement such as what his sister is in. And it hurts me. But at the same time, I can safely say that a setting such as that is clearly not for him.
Should I compare? No. But it is extremely hard to NOT see the difference versus the similarities.
You sometimes, I feel, HAVE TO compare the "odd one out" to the others because it forces you to see just how different the one with the problems truly is from most of society. It makes you step back and think a little more and be more compassionate, understanding and willing to have more patience. Not just with YOUR child with Silent Disabilities, but other children (and adults) with the same afflictions as well.
So, here is to (hopefully) smooth sailing for this school year. In just over a week, and then all three are off on another school-year adventure of learning and fun. But this year, it will be minus their big sister. And I think they will do just fine.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Case Manager Mismanagement
Yesterday, I had to drag my family out in to the unseasonably hot Summer heat to take B to his yearly check up. All went well, though he cried like Hoover Dam when he got two shots in his bony arm.
Then, it was off to brunch at a Biscutville in the area where the doctor is (next town over from us)being that only one of us five ate any breakfast. No, it wasn't the boy, the mom, the dad or even the big sister. You got it. Littlest one was smart enough to eat BEFORE we were to leave.
Then, it was off to Child and Family Services, where B has his Case Management and his Psychiatric appointments. I stopped in to drop off the Medication Dispersal sheet for school, being he has to have backup of Vyvanse there, just in case. And while there, I was able to meet up with the CM to sign the needed papers for the next six months to a year (depending on the information).
At one point, she got to talking to B about his not eating and how even skinnier he looks from the last time she had seen him (about a month ago).
This is where the trouble began. And where my "Mama Bear" came out, claws ready.
At one point of the "eating" conversation, I"stepped in" and noted that now, I am seeing troubling signs of his (non)eating habits starting to spill over to his LITTLE sister. She is EXTREMELY picky, just like him. She "bird pecks" most of her meals, just like him. And she is not willing to try foods, just like him.
Needless to say, I got the "you shouldn't compare B to S, and you need to concentrate on B. And I am ONLY going to concentrate on B"...Excuse me? PART OF YOUR JOB is to oversee the needs of the FAMILY, not JUST the client him/herself. And I have LEGITIMATE concerns that ultimately affect my ENTIRE family.
Mind you, I was signing papers that she was LATE getting to the proper areas, but was "hunting" me down to get them signed. Some were back from APRIL. The others were CURRENT paperwork. I even back-dated the older ones (to save her from getting in to trouble).
If what she said about one of my kids being more important over the other was said BEFORE I started placing my "John Hancock", I would have dated the OLD forms for YESTERDAYS date, just to be a bitch.
And I have seriously considered contacting B's former CM who is now HER boss and ask if what she said was correct and/or acceptable. I addressed concerns for BOTH "her client" and for HIS little sister. It wasn't until I said anything, that HE finally got it and is now seeing how HIS habits are affecting others in the home.
Then, it was off to brunch at a Biscutville in the area where the doctor is (next town over from us)being that only one of us five ate any breakfast. No, it wasn't the boy, the mom, the dad or even the big sister. You got it. Littlest one was smart enough to eat BEFORE we were to leave.
Then, it was off to Child and Family Services, where B has his Case Management and his Psychiatric appointments. I stopped in to drop off the Medication Dispersal sheet for school, being he has to have backup of Vyvanse there, just in case. And while there, I was able to meet up with the CM to sign the needed papers for the next six months to a year (depending on the information).
At one point, she got to talking to B about his not eating and how even skinnier he looks from the last time she had seen him (about a month ago).
This is where the trouble began. And where my "Mama Bear" came out, claws ready.
At one point of the "eating" conversation, I"stepped in" and noted that now, I am seeing troubling signs of his (non)eating habits starting to spill over to his LITTLE sister. She is EXTREMELY picky, just like him. She "bird pecks" most of her meals, just like him. And she is not willing to try foods, just like him.
Needless to say, I got the "you shouldn't compare B to S, and you need to concentrate on B. And I am ONLY going to concentrate on B"...Excuse me? PART OF YOUR JOB is to oversee the needs of the FAMILY, not JUST the client him/herself. And I have LEGITIMATE concerns that ultimately affect my ENTIRE family.
Mind you, I was signing papers that she was LATE getting to the proper areas, but was "hunting" me down to get them signed. Some were back from APRIL. The others were CURRENT paperwork. I even back-dated the older ones (to save her from getting in to trouble).
If what she said about one of my kids being more important over the other was said BEFORE I started placing my "John Hancock", I would have dated the OLD forms for YESTERDAYS date, just to be a bitch.
And I have seriously considered contacting B's former CM who is now HER boss and ask if what she said was correct and/or acceptable. I addressed concerns for BOTH "her client" and for HIS little sister. It wasn't until I said anything, that HE finally got it and is now seeing how HIS habits are affecting others in the home.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
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