I'm a spanking parent. I have spanked my son as needed through the years. Of course, he is of an age and height that I have been able to find other means of punishment (like taking toys/games/computer time away). But the youngest who is 7 years old, though a rare thing, still gets spanked IF the "punishment fits the crime".
I have a friend on FaceBook who had been faced with a dilemma. Her child is three years old, disabled, and has yet to be diagnosed with Autism or any other mental delays. The other day at a family function, her husband had spanked their daughter for BITING, as well as hitting. And not a child, but another adult.
Her husband works a lot at his second shift job and only really sees the child on the weekends.
Mom isn't much on spanking, but Dad is. And when the little girl bit and hit the adult, the Dad got a hold of his daughter and spanked her for her actions. Needless to say, Mom wasn't pleased with how he handled the situation. She said it was more about the embarrassment of it happening in front of the family than anything else.
After hearing (or shall I say, reading) everything, I stated that the Mom can't really be mad at him. If he isn't able to be there due to working a lot, then he hasn't had the time (or maybe even the energy) to be TAUGHT (by her) of what works best with their daughter. You cannot just "assume" he SHOULD know how to help handle her, when he isn't there a lot of the time to learn by watching, listening or hands-on.
She needs to (calmly) approach him when they are BOTH free to get together, and talk with him and teach him what works best with your child. If she doesn't take the time to voice to him what works/doesn't work, then he won't know the BEST options of how to punish/redirect/handle his child.
In time, she will learn the differences of when it's her daughter just being a typical kid getting in to trouble, and between it REALLY being the disability showing through.
But even for as long as I have known the lowdown on my kid, I STILL have moments of wondering which way it is really swinging. In the end though, I try really, REALLY hard to NOT use the "he is disabled and has a lot of problems" excuse with him.
He is treated, talked to, and (most of the time) interacted with on the same level as his sisters. As in, he gets in to trouble just as much as they do.
I don't let my kid use his disabilities as an excuse 100% of the time. If I do/did, then HE would think that he can get out of trouble ALL of the time.
To me, he is just as "normal" as his nutty sisters are. He is just more matter-of-fact and sensitive emotionally than the girls.
I sometimes get HIGHLY embarrassed due to my son's actions, reactions and behaviors. No doubt. But even then, you cannot always "excuse" their behavior on their disabilities.
You have to learn and KEEP a balance between typical kid and disabled kid. Or else, they WILL grow up to think that they can (some literally) get away with murder.
And don't EVER be embarrassed to defuse a situation (such as biting and hitting someone) in front of others. I have done it on many occasions and WON'T be afraid to do so in the future, if need be.
You just need to find that balance, and the key to successful behavior management where child's concerned. Because they are unique individuals, and what works for me or any of the other parents, may not necessarily work for YOUR child, and you BOTH as their parents. There MUST be a middle ground that is firmly established.
Believe me when I say that I have had to (literally) peel my son off of one of his sisters as he bit them and used them for a punching bag. Seriously injuring the baby when she WAS a baby (bruises and a bonked head from being shoved off a toddler bed). Over NOTHING at all. Just got it in himself to start beating the holy hell out of her.
I don't care if a person spanks or not. When it comes to hitting and biting, you MUST take care of the problem RIGHT THEN. Not later in the day. Be it if the child is one year old or 15 years old. Biting and hitting, especially an adult, or a child YOUNGER than the one doing the hitting/biting, is a huge "no-no" that has NO excuses.
In that instance, wrong is wrong. No matter the reason. No matter the mental capacity. No matter if the child is "normal" or "disabled".
My philosophy is, if my "normal brained" girls are NOT allowed to behave in a certain manner (hitting, biting, stealing, cursing), then neither is my "mentally challenged" son.
How is honestly fair for me to excuse the actions of the one, and not of the two? That can and will build up resentment in his sisters against their brother, and against me if I was to excuse everything on the basis of his diagnoses.
Every single day it is indeed a struggle to find THAT balance between "normal childhood" behavior, and "disability-driven" behaviors. Some things though, should be no-brainer behaviors that no matter the mental capacity, should NEVER be tolerated or excused due to said disability.
And like a fellow group member had stated, not everything will work with everyone, nor will everyone believe that corporal punishment should be utilized. I say if used CORRECTLY and in the right situations, it CAN be an effective tool.
But not every offense deserves having a spanking. Just like not every offense deserves a month-long grounding.
I think a lot of my views stem from my own childhood. I WAS a disabled child. And my dad treated me as a normal kid. My mom on the other hand "babied" me. And she did it so much, to such an extent, that it really did tarnish my childhood, and made me resent her later on in life, for YEARS. Even after she died.
There is a time to use the "disability card" (my name for it), and when NOT to. Most times, it was just me being a kid. But to her, I did NO wrong, even when it was clear that I WAS in the wrong. So, I never got in trouble (if I did by her, it was VERY rare) unless my dad was there. And then, I got what he felt I deserved. Yes, that did include a spanking here and there.
The more I recall it all, and the more I think on it, I truly believe I got myself in to trouble, especially around my dad as much as I did, was because I THRIVED on it. I felt like a "normal" little kid.
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Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Enabling vs Disabling
Thanks is going out to a fellow Special Needs mom, Amy, over on FaceBook, who I have become friends with, and her "push" for me to post the following.
We met in a WONDERFUL group for parents like ourselves who are parents to kids that are disabled. And it's a locally-based group for our region, but we accept people from outside the Virginia state lines, as well.
The group is called Parents For Progress, or P4P for short. Our kids have ALL different types of disabilities and mental capacity. We sometimes DO disagree, but never get cut-throat.
So without further ado...
Just two summers ago, I learned how to swim/float for the first time. I was 33 years old (now 35)! If I had what I needed to have done BY the time I almost turned 6 or 7 years old, then I would have learned to swim much earlier, among other things.
Sometimes, even all of these years later, I can find myself angry at my mom for disabling me even more and literally taking away my childhood. And I refuse to let my son to think/feel about me, let alone his sisters for doing the same to them.
I love my mom, and always will. But ever since I can remember, I vowed and have kept my word to it, to NEVER be like her, where parenting is concerned. Even after she had died. And to this day, I will have a moment of anger and resentment pop in to my head. Especially around the anniversary of my "official removal" of my trache tube (December 1, 1989... not even two months after my mom died).
Heck, the way I have been told in the past, I was THE reason why my parents never had anymore children after me. She was scared another baby "would turn out to have the same problems"... Um, MY problems were *somewhat* because of her (having a 50 LB tumor sitting next to me in-utero).
I was extremely tiny and lightweight at birth. I was born almost a month early with extreme fluid on my lung (which collapsed from the pressure and weight of the fluid) and a esophageal fistula (a break in my esophagus tract to determine between the airway and the stomach routes). I died on the operating table like 2 to 4 times in the 18-hour repair surgery (after a touchy care-flight ride to another hospital when I was LESS than 24 hours old), which forever changed the appearance of my shoulder blade area on the right side (and left me asymmetrical in the breast area).
From the day of my birth, she basically (at first, I understood being that I was so tiny and helpless, and gravely ill with having NO hope for a chance at life, really) became a "helicopter mom". Later in my elementary school years, she was STILL so overly protective, that not only did she volunteer, but also was a yard duty person at lunchtime, a lunchroom supervisor, but decided to also become an "assistant" for MY classroom or one near me as to "keep an eye on Missy"... In other words, I had NO break from her. She watched me like a hawk. 24/7. If I did go to a friend's house, most times, she would constantly check on me in one way or another.
Now, maybe some people, especially fellow parents, like myself, of disabled children, can see it from our kid's perspective as well when it comes to being either too lenient, too harsh or too overprotective (or even NOT protective enough).
I know all too well the fine line EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US walks on a daily basis with our kids. It's such a difficult balancing act. But they also thrive on being treated as "just another normal kid". Even when getting in to trouble.
We met in a WONDERFUL group for parents like ourselves who are parents to kids that are disabled. And it's a locally-based group for our region, but we accept people from outside the Virginia state lines, as well.
The group is called Parents For Progress, or P4P for short. Our kids have ALL different types of disabilities and mental capacity. We sometimes DO disagree, but never get cut-throat.
So without further ado...
Just two summers ago, I learned how to swim/float for the first time. I was 33 years old (now 35)! If I had what I needed to have done BY the time I almost turned 6 or 7 years old, then I would have learned to swim much earlier, among other things.
Sometimes, even all of these years later, I can find myself angry at my mom for disabling me even more and literally taking away my childhood. And I refuse to let my son to think/feel about me, let alone his sisters for doing the same to them.
I love my mom, and always will. But ever since I can remember, I vowed and have kept my word to it, to NEVER be like her, where parenting is concerned. Even after she had died. And to this day, I will have a moment of anger and resentment pop in to my head. Especially around the anniversary of my "official removal" of my trache tube (December 1, 1989... not even two months after my mom died).
Heck, the way I have been told in the past, I was THE reason why my parents never had anymore children after me. She was scared another baby "would turn out to have the same problems"... Um, MY problems were *somewhat* because of her (having a 50 LB tumor sitting next to me in-utero).
I was extremely tiny and lightweight at birth. I was born almost a month early with extreme fluid on my lung (which collapsed from the pressure and weight of the fluid) and a esophageal fistula (a break in my esophagus tract to determine between the airway and the stomach routes). I died on the operating table like 2 to 4 times in the 18-hour repair surgery (after a touchy care-flight ride to another hospital when I was LESS than 24 hours old), which forever changed the appearance of my shoulder blade area on the right side (and left me asymmetrical in the breast area).
From the day of my birth, she basically (at first, I understood being that I was so tiny and helpless, and gravely ill with having NO hope for a chance at life, really) became a "helicopter mom". Later in my elementary school years, she was STILL so overly protective, that not only did she volunteer, but also was a yard duty person at lunchtime, a lunchroom supervisor, but decided to also become an "assistant" for MY classroom or one near me as to "keep an eye on Missy"... In other words, I had NO break from her. She watched me like a hawk. 24/7. If I did go to a friend's house, most times, she would constantly check on me in one way or another.
Now, maybe some people, especially fellow parents, like myself, of disabled children, can see it from our kid's perspective as well when it comes to being either too lenient, too harsh or too overprotective (or even NOT protective enough).
I know all too well the fine line EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US walks on a daily basis with our kids. It's such a difficult balancing act. But they also thrive on being treated as "just another normal kid". Even when getting in to trouble.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
NT Parents vs. SN Parents
I am a mother.
I am a mother to three children.
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems".
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems", but that I love all equally.
You say that there is NO way you could do what I do, put up with what I put up with, and defend what I have to defend.
You say we are a strong, but rare breed. But there are more parents like me than you most likely even know. Because we don't look to be recognized or placed on a pedestal.
We do what we have to do, when we have to do it, as to ensure that our "special" kids are getting everything in life that they deserve.
That includes being as close to "normal" as we can get them. And to obtain the specialized services, that though are supposed to be rendered by Federally mandated Laws, are not always put in to place.
We rejoice at what most people take for granted. Especially when they are "late bloomers". We cry from the frustration. Not just our own, but the frustrations that our children display.
We want what ALL (okay, MOST) parents want for their kids. A better and fulfilling life.
You and I aren't THAT different in the world of Parenting. We, like our children, just do things a little bit different from the rest of you. And we see things (like first words, first steps and the other norms of growing up) a tad bit differently as well.
Other than that, I'm not much different from you. And yes, you CAN do what I do on a daily basis. Because when push comes to shove, when it comes to your child, you would do most ANYTHING and move every mountain and boulder to help your child achieve their very best potential.
Do I want to just throw my hands up and quit? YES! Sometimes, the fight to help your child achieve can really tire you emotionally and mentally. As can their daily struggles and fights of will. But in the end, no matter how much you want to just turn around and walk away, you CAN'T. You know for a fact that you have invested WAY too much time, energy, and most important, love in to helping your children succeed to the best of their ability.
So, the next time you think to yourself that you could "never do my job as a parent", or think I must be a lot stronger than you, take a step back and think, and know that when it all comes down to that fine line in the sand, there is really no line at all.
I am a mother to three children.
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems".
I am a mother to three kids, where one of them has "problems", but that I love all equally.
You say that there is NO way you could do what I do, put up with what I put up with, and defend what I have to defend.
You say we are a strong, but rare breed. But there are more parents like me than you most likely even know. Because we don't look to be recognized or placed on a pedestal.
We do what we have to do, when we have to do it, as to ensure that our "special" kids are getting everything in life that they deserve.
That includes being as close to "normal" as we can get them. And to obtain the specialized services, that though are supposed to be rendered by Federally mandated Laws, are not always put in to place.
We rejoice at what most people take for granted. Especially when they are "late bloomers". We cry from the frustration. Not just our own, but the frustrations that our children display.
We want what ALL (okay, MOST) parents want for their kids. A better and fulfilling life.
You and I aren't THAT different in the world of Parenting. We, like our children, just do things a little bit different from the rest of you. And we see things (like first words, first steps and the other norms of growing up) a tad bit differently as well.
Other than that, I'm not much different from you. And yes, you CAN do what I do on a daily basis. Because when push comes to shove, when it comes to your child, you would do most ANYTHING and move every mountain and boulder to help your child achieve their very best potential.
Do I want to just throw my hands up and quit? YES! Sometimes, the fight to help your child achieve can really tire you emotionally and mentally. As can their daily struggles and fights of will. But in the end, no matter how much you want to just turn around and walk away, you CAN'T. You know for a fact that you have invested WAY too much time, energy, and most important, love in to helping your children succeed to the best of their ability.
So, the next time you think to yourself that you could "never do my job as a parent", or think I must be a lot stronger than you, take a step back and think, and know that when it all comes down to that fine line in the sand, there is really no line at all.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
SEVERELY Mentally Handicapped Kids *Tourtured* By Own Mother
I'll just let you watch the video and let it speak for its self... Because I honestly have NO words.
Posted on YouTube on Nov. 11th, 2011 from a local news channel in St. Petersberg.
GRAPHIC DETAILS!
Posted on YouTube on Nov. 11th, 2011 from a local news channel in St. Petersberg.
GRAPHIC DETAILS!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Kids and Adults. See the Difference.
Yesterday, my son had a Psychiatric appointment. While in the waiting room, a girl not too much younger than him came in. I knew RIGHT OFF THE BAT she has a moderate/severe form of Autism. She mainly played "alone" away from the group of kids at the table (including my 3 kids). But in the end, two of mine went and played with her, as did another little boy.
In that moment, I had seen firsthand how CHILDREN are more accepting and less afraid of communication and interaction with another person, despite being profoundly disabled, in contrast to the *adults* who are TOO SCARED (as in may say or do something "wrong" within the interaction process) to interact with them.
These kids all had something in common in that room. THAT is what drawn them to one another. The fact that they ALL are disabled, mentally in one way or another, you *can't* see OUTSIDE (for the most part) what their handicaps are. But they all understand one another and eachother's "quirks".
If only more people, primarily adults could be like those kids. To see PAST an individual's "quirks" (disabilities) and interact with them on a more personal level of "normalcy" and compassion. To do so would make this world a MUCH better place to live.
Just like my son and his older sister. They can fight and scrap like cats thrown in to a tub of water and getting a bath. But when push comes to shove, my oldest (the girl) says that NO ONE had better DARE call her little brother names (like retard) or pick on him in any other way. She said if they do and she finds out, the bully will be dealing with HER...Same with my son about BOTH of his sisters.
My daughters SEE and also have experienced firsthand what their brother's differences are and can be like, from other "normal" kids (and boys his age). But they are accepting of him for who he is, and what his "quirks" are.
They know when to run and hide, when to stand up to him and when to defend him. In the end, he is their brother. Period. Not disabled, weird, different or "nuts in the head".
Just a kid that is a bit off, but is still lovable just the same and is treated no differently.
In that moment, I had seen firsthand how CHILDREN are more accepting and less afraid of communication and interaction with another person, despite being profoundly disabled, in contrast to the *adults* who are TOO SCARED (as in may say or do something "wrong" within the interaction process) to interact with them.
These kids all had something in common in that room. THAT is what drawn them to one another. The fact that they ALL are disabled, mentally in one way or another, you *can't* see OUTSIDE (for the most part) what their handicaps are. But they all understand one another and eachother's "quirks".
If only more people, primarily adults could be like those kids. To see PAST an individual's "quirks" (disabilities) and interact with them on a more personal level of "normalcy" and compassion. To do so would make this world a MUCH better place to live.
Just like my son and his older sister. They can fight and scrap like cats thrown in to a tub of water and getting a bath. But when push comes to shove, my oldest (the girl) says that NO ONE had better DARE call her little brother names (like retard) or pick on him in any other way. She said if they do and she finds out, the bully will be dealing with HER...Same with my son about BOTH of his sisters.
My daughters SEE and also have experienced firsthand what their brother's differences are and can be like, from other "normal" kids (and boys his age). But they are accepting of him for who he is, and what his "quirks" are.
They know when to run and hide, when to stand up to him and when to defend him. In the end, he is their brother. Period. Not disabled, weird, different or "nuts in the head".
Just a kid that is a bit off, but is still lovable just the same and is treated no differently.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Yes, Celebs To Can Have Mental Illnesses
Everyone is human that walks on two legs and speaks a language. This includes high profile politicos, those in the music business, athletes, and entertainers.
Entertainers such as Catherine Zeta-Jones included. She has Bipolar II Disorder.
Differences in Bipolar I and Bipolar II are...
Bipolar Type 1
The type 1 bipolar disorder is characterized based on the occurrence of at least one manic episode, with or without the occurrence of a major depressive episode. The mania in this diagnosis is full-blown. This abnormality would usually last for a week at the very least. But there are cases that the bipolar patient is required to be confined for more than a week if hospitalized.
Symptoms of this type include the following:
* Self-esteem is high and the patient possesses a great deal of confidence.
* Ambitious attitude is apparent in this state.
* There is the feeling of sleeplessness.
* The patient tends to talk excessively.
* The patient has a tendency to think more than the usual.
The danger of this type is that the patient may hallucinate, losing his grasp of reality. In some cases of bipolar type 1, the patient is diagnosed as psychotic. In some books about bipolar disorder, bipolar type 1 is also called the "raging" bipolar.
Bipolar Type 2
The bipolar type 2 disorder is characterized by the occurrence of at least one hypomania episode and one major depressive state. Sometimes, this type may even have occurrences of more depressive episodes.
In some cases, hypomania actually enables the individual to excel in their fields of expertise. The state of hypomania can be apparent in people that are top achievers in the work environment and at parties. The symptoms in hypomania are mostly positive and may run for about four days before it subsides.
Though its manifestation is obvious and can be observed clearly by other people, the "swinging" bipolar (as it is aptly called) doesn't cause any disruption in normal functional settings. It doesn't cause any hospitalization to a hyperactive person and doesn't have psychotic tendencies.
Article Source: Ezine Articles
And yes, as such is the case with Catherine Zeta-Jones, stress can play a factor in the Bipolar patient's stability and ability to control their disorder, and function at more normal levels.
To read the full article about CZJ and her treatment, CLICK HERE.
Entertainers such as Catherine Zeta-Jones included. She has Bipolar II Disorder.
Differences in Bipolar I and Bipolar II are...
Bipolar Type 1
The type 1 bipolar disorder is characterized based on the occurrence of at least one manic episode, with or without the occurrence of a major depressive episode. The mania in this diagnosis is full-blown. This abnormality would usually last for a week at the very least. But there are cases that the bipolar patient is required to be confined for more than a week if hospitalized.
Symptoms of this type include the following:
* Self-esteem is high and the patient possesses a great deal of confidence.
* Ambitious attitude is apparent in this state.
* There is the feeling of sleeplessness.
* The patient tends to talk excessively.
* The patient has a tendency to think more than the usual.
The danger of this type is that the patient may hallucinate, losing his grasp of reality. In some cases of bipolar type 1, the patient is diagnosed as psychotic. In some books about bipolar disorder, bipolar type 1 is also called the "raging" bipolar.
Bipolar Type 2
The bipolar type 2 disorder is characterized by the occurrence of at least one hypomania episode and one major depressive state. Sometimes, this type may even have occurrences of more depressive episodes.
In some cases, hypomania actually enables the individual to excel in their fields of expertise. The state of hypomania can be apparent in people that are top achievers in the work environment and at parties. The symptoms in hypomania are mostly positive and may run for about four days before it subsides.
Though its manifestation is obvious and can be observed clearly by other people, the "swinging" bipolar (as it is aptly called) doesn't cause any disruption in normal functional settings. It doesn't cause any hospitalization to a hyperactive person and doesn't have psychotic tendencies.
Article Source: Ezine Articles
And yes, as such is the case with Catherine Zeta-Jones, stress can play a factor in the Bipolar patient's stability and ability to control their disorder, and function at more normal levels.
To read the full article about CZJ and her treatment, CLICK HERE.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Denial..Why "Our" Kids? (PYHO)
**Reminder..Those of us linking up with Shell at PYHO are literally writing from our hearts, what is on our minds. Good, bad and indifferent. It's a place to BUILD UP, not tear down those of us participating. So, if you have NOTHING NICE to say in your comment, please refrain from commenting at all.**
I've got a lovely, sweet, funny and kind new Bloggy and Twitter friend. Her pen name is The_Drama_Mama over at The Scoop On Poop. I have even added her blog to my Blog list of Special Needs Bloggers here in The "Mental"-ist Mom. Most of the time, she shows us what her life with a child with many mental disorders is like using humor and seeing the lighter side of life.
But she took on a more serious topic for MommyLeBron's "Bipolar Tuesdays" and has shown what progress her daughter has made who's got most of the same diagnosis as what Bryce has as well. To say we "relate" is a clear understatement.
After reading the last comment that Drama_Mama_ had made in regards to our "kind words", the last line struck a chord with me. One that I still at times wrestle with.
Denial.
At first, when my son was a toddler and even a baby, I "denied" that I saw some "strange" things. Like not wanting to be held or touched much. Not liking the textures of certain food types. Crying at loud sounds like a fire engine. Ordering things, and getting profusely upset if you even slightly changed the order or the way the objects sat.
Then came the nasty mood swings that I chalked up to the "Terrible Two's" and "Horrible Threes".
But how can you "deny" facts like your child beating his sisters almost senseless or pulling a knife or hammer on you at the ages of 4, 5 and 6 years old, knowing he NEVER is able to watch movies that "promote" violence such as that?
I tried to "deny" the obvious for so long. And even when I did let myself see the REAL picture and magnitude of my child's problems, his father still was in denial himself. Until he saw Bryce actually pull a pencil on his older sister and heard his son say that he was going to stab her in the heart and kill her...over a TOY.
Not to mention the attention, focusing and extreme hyperness that got him in to trouble with the classroom Kindergarten teacher.
It took us a good two years to get ANYONE to listen and to lead us in the right direction. I definitely suspected (highly) ADHD. But of course the "doctor" (Pediatrician) chalked it up to his just "being an overly active, typical boy". Even after I stated the volatile states and severe mood swings.
At that point, I wondered who indeed was the one "in denial". And I had a CREDIBLE person attend that appointment with me. My mother-in-law who (at the time) was a (still) practicing nurse!
After almost a year later of the same crap, I finally got him in to his current Psychiatrist. It took at least three visits before the doctor would confirm or deny ANY kind of diagnosis for Bryce. He wanted to see my son a few times, get reports from the school, his Primary doctor and what the Case Manager where we go monthly had observed.
When all the pieces were fit together of the intricate puzzle that was my child, at least one firm thing was confirmed. My son has *SEVERE* ADHD. As I sat there and heard the OFFICIAL Dx, I bawled. And not from anger or sadness. From relief. FINALLY. Someone heard me. They BELIEVED me. I no longer had to TRY and deny "something" was off or wrong. After two extremely hard and long years, we were getting somewhere.
Parents like myself, The_Drama_Mama, Angel over at A Drink Of Sweet Tea and a host of others in my Blog Buddy List have times of denial. It's our way of "escaping", if just for a moment. It helps us see the true reality of what our children have to deal with on a daily basis.
Sometimes, "denial" can be a blessing. The reality is ALWAYS with us. But to "pretend" once in a while that our children are like ANYONE ELSE'S, even just for a brief moment, or have the deep-seeded hope that one day our kids will "grow out of it" gives us a tiny bit of our sanity back.
Denial doesn't (always) hurt anyone, if you are in denial for the "right" reason, and not to the point where it can damage you, your child or your family further.
Hence the question... "Why OUR kids!?"
Because they were put here to teach us something about ourselves. Patience, kindness, looking past other's differences, and a host of other reasons.
They weren't our "punishment" for something done in our past. They just want what we all want. Love, acceptance, the chance to meet their full potential and to show the world that "being crazy" isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Children Like Mine Grieve Differently
My son isn't completely your "average, ordinary" kid. Sure, he does what most kids do in regards to playing outside, playing video games, watching goofy TV shows and other "normal" kid things.
But much of that is on a lower age level then those of his peers. Though he is finally out of the stage of still wanting to watch Playhouse Disney and the Srpout Channel (which he did up until the age of 8 years old).
Three years ago, two of my kids (Bryce and his older sister) got their first "taste" of real life, and the fact that we don't live forever and that those that we love will die one day.
Back then, I only took Hayley (the oldest) with us to the Funeral services. It was her first time seeing a person who passed away laying in state. For the most part, under the circumstances, she did quite well.
Now, tomorrow she will witness the burial of her Great-Grandfather, whom she was quite fond of. And so was Bryce. He will be now attending his first Funeral service.
With him, we have been preparing him for WEEKS of the impending death of their "Big Papa". Yes, there were lots of questions. My husband and I answered best as we could.
Sunday night is when Scott's grandfather passed. And while the two older ones were shook up and in a state of denile and shock, they took it better than I thought that they would.
The next morning though, is when all of that changed. And overnight, my son had changed. I guess from all the pent up grief from the night before.
While most children his age would just fall apart, crying and either go off to be alone or wish to be held as they began their grieving process, Bryce was "showing himself" in a way I had not seen in a very long time.
You see, one of his problems is a processing disorder. His brain doesn't take emotional overload very well, or sensory messages that are too great or too many to deal with at once. And this is apparently what had happened.
And the end result was a nine-year-old boy throwing, hitting, screaming, yelling and crying all at once. It was a classic Manic Episode in full form. Only this time unlike most others, I knew where this one was stemming from. Normally they just "hit" without real warning or cause. While indeed, it was without warning, I was able to figure out the cause pretty fast.
I'd chalked it up to the grief of what we told him the night before just all spilling out at once. But then, it happened on the next morning as well. While I still figured it was the grieving coming out, seeing as they had been too busy otherwise to "really think about it all", I'd had enough. I too have been at the end of my emotional rope.
After day two of this volatile display of emotion, I flat out told Bryce that if this is how he was going to be, then there was NO way he was going to be allowed to attend the Funeral. I said that this was NOT the way that we display our hurt. Especially not there.
And like I flipped a switch within him somehow, he stopped. Yes, he was still crying, but it was more of an "age appropriate" crying and being upset.
Kids with processing and sensory disorders deal with things so much differently than neurotypical children. What may not mean the end of the world to us, and seem quite trivial is equivalent to the world crashing down around them and that the sky is falling.
So when something such as the death of a close friend or family member occurs, their already shaky emotional and mental stability can indeed worsen. And a myriad of emotion can spill out all at once, and along with it come some not-so desired behaviors.
**Also as a side note, I would like to thank our cousin Tara. She was the ONLY one out of all the family that know of Bryce's problems to ask how Bryce was doing and handling HIS loss.
Now I can see indeed why I picked her as the God Parent of my kids. She truly is concerned for their welfare and never forgets to ask about them. Especially my son. Thank you Tara!**
But much of that is on a lower age level then those of his peers. Though he is finally out of the stage of still wanting to watch Playhouse Disney and the Srpout Channel (which he did up until the age of 8 years old).
Three years ago, two of my kids (Bryce and his older sister) got their first "taste" of real life, and the fact that we don't live forever and that those that we love will die one day.
Back then, I only took Hayley (the oldest) with us to the Funeral services. It was her first time seeing a person who passed away laying in state. For the most part, under the circumstances, she did quite well.
Now, tomorrow she will witness the burial of her Great-Grandfather, whom she was quite fond of. And so was Bryce. He will be now attending his first Funeral service.
With him, we have been preparing him for WEEKS of the impending death of their "Big Papa". Yes, there were lots of questions. My husband and I answered best as we could.
Sunday night is when Scott's grandfather passed. And while the two older ones were shook up and in a state of denile and shock, they took it better than I thought that they would.
The next morning though, is when all of that changed. And overnight, my son had changed. I guess from all the pent up grief from the night before.
While most children his age would just fall apart, crying and either go off to be alone or wish to be held as they began their grieving process, Bryce was "showing himself" in a way I had not seen in a very long time.
You see, one of his problems is a processing disorder. His brain doesn't take emotional overload very well, or sensory messages that are too great or too many to deal with at once. And this is apparently what had happened.
And the end result was a nine-year-old boy throwing, hitting, screaming, yelling and crying all at once. It was a classic Manic Episode in full form. Only this time unlike most others, I knew where this one was stemming from. Normally they just "hit" without real warning or cause. While indeed, it was without warning, I was able to figure out the cause pretty fast.
I'd chalked it up to the grief of what we told him the night before just all spilling out at once. But then, it happened on the next morning as well. While I still figured it was the grieving coming out, seeing as they had been too busy otherwise to "really think about it all", I'd had enough. I too have been at the end of my emotional rope.
After day two of this volatile display of emotion, I flat out told Bryce that if this is how he was going to be, then there was NO way he was going to be allowed to attend the Funeral. I said that this was NOT the way that we display our hurt. Especially not there.
And like I flipped a switch within him somehow, he stopped. Yes, he was still crying, but it was more of an "age appropriate" crying and being upset.
Kids with processing and sensory disorders deal with things so much differently than neurotypical children. What may not mean the end of the world to us, and seem quite trivial is equivalent to the world crashing down around them and that the sky is falling.
So when something such as the death of a close friend or family member occurs, their already shaky emotional and mental stability can indeed worsen. And a myriad of emotion can spill out all at once, and along with it come some not-so desired behaviors.
**Also as a side note, I would like to thank our cousin Tara. She was the ONLY one out of all the family that know of Bryce's problems to ask how Bryce was doing and handling HIS loss.
Now I can see indeed why I picked her as the God Parent of my kids. She truly is concerned for their welfare and never forgets to ask about them. Especially my son. Thank you Tara!**
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Three kids, a minivan and one parent..
That was me, the one parent in a minivan with three kids. Two of which decided to have a throw down in the two back seats. All over one not letting the other draw with their pencil and piece of paper, whereas the youngest got to.
Bryce was being rude, whiny and non-compliant about his big sister not letting him have HER things, thanks to the way he demanded that he too should get something of HER'S to use. I even told him I agreed with the oldest in not letting him have anything to draw with, thanks to his attitude and immaturity.
The following video, which I have in the past, posted to my main blog, The (Not Always) Happy Homemaker Diary ran through my head for a short moment as I kept on trying to calm the storm as it raged...and as three military personnel walked by my vehicle.
Bryce was being rude, whiny and non-compliant about his big sister not letting him have HER things, thanks to the way he demanded that he too should get something of HER'S to use. I even told him I agreed with the oldest in not letting him have anything to draw with, thanks to his attitude and immaturity.
The following video, which I have in the past, posted to my main blog, The (Not Always) Happy Homemaker Diary ran through my head for a short moment as I kept on trying to calm the storm as it raged...and as three military personnel walked by my vehicle.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Friends Are Hard To Come By In This World. (BLOG HOP..Add your link!)
No, I don't mean within THE world in general. But within MY world, and that of my son's.
Unless you (generally speaking) and your child go through what kinds of things we do on a daily basis, then no one can quite understand or comprehend my family's reality of daily living.
So, as you can imagine, friends who REALLY can understand and WANT TO understand, let alone accept my kid for WHO he is, not how he can act are pretty hard to come by.
Same goes for Bryce. He has a few friends. But otherwise, he is pretty much an "outcast" at school. Let's just say, kids can be pretty mean. Even in the fourth grade. And I know with Middle School looming upon him, it WILL get worse before it gets ANY better.
But, what few friends that my son DOES have, they see PAST his disabilities and his Tics, and see the REAL Bryce. The sweet, friendly, caring boy that he really is.
So, take the time to make a new and "different" kind of friend. And don't let outward and seemingly awkward appearances fool you. Because if they are like my son, once a friend, you have a friend for LIFE.
Now, after ADDING *YOUR* BLOG link to my link up tool (below), go find some more FAB FRIENDS to check out over at FOR THE LOVE OF BLOGS by clicking on their button.
Have a FAB Friday, everyone!
Unless you (generally speaking) and your child go through what kinds of things we do on a daily basis, then no one can quite understand or comprehend my family's reality of daily living.
So, as you can imagine, friends who REALLY can understand and WANT TO understand, let alone accept my kid for WHO he is, not how he can act are pretty hard to come by.
Same goes for Bryce. He has a few friends. But otherwise, he is pretty much an "outcast" at school. Let's just say, kids can be pretty mean. Even in the fourth grade. And I know with Middle School looming upon him, it WILL get worse before it gets ANY better.
But, what few friends that my son DOES have, they see PAST his disabilities and his Tics, and see the REAL Bryce. The sweet, friendly, caring boy that he really is.
So, take the time to make a new and "different" kind of friend. And don't let outward and seemingly awkward appearances fool you. Because if they are like my son, once a friend, you have a friend for LIFE.
Now, after ADDING *YOUR* BLOG link to my link up tool (below), go find some more FAB FRIENDS to check out over at FOR THE LOVE OF BLOGS by clicking on their button.
Have a FAB Friday, everyone!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Using the "Disabled" card...
I myself was disabled (legally) for a good portion of my childhood due to medical problems that required that I have machinery with me at all times to clear out my lungs via my trache.
For the most part, aside from a few limitations. I was just a normal kid. To myself and to my friends (what few I had).
My mom was the one that made me out to be a seemingly helpless child. Out of fear more than anything else. The only REAL limitation I really had was going under water, or letting it go past by breast area. Otherwise, it was all good.
But she restricted me to no running, no playing softball or kickball (or soccer), no playing in the dirt and having to only go to friend's homes that were "near by in case something happened".
I refuse to do those things to my son. He has some limitations. Not in the physical sense, but mentally. Yes indeed, he is EXTREMELY smart educationally. But he severely lacks interpersonal relationship skills, behavior appropriation and his maturity level is more of my six year old's level, if not a bit younger to a degree.
But I still let him walk to school (on warm days, not in the rain or dead of winter). He gets to go to friend's homes, where a few may be as much as a five minute drive (instead of a five minute walk). He spends the night at his uncle's home once in a while and if a friend invited him for a night's stay, sure!
Bryce also must do chores. Clean his room, take recycling to the basement and place them in the appropriate bins, gather his dirty laundry to wash, put away his clean clothes.
I don't do the "he just doesn't understand or do it in a timely manner because of his mental problems, so I'll just do it for him" crap. He has working arms, legs, feet and hands! Why should I do it for him when he is PERFECTLY able-bodied to do so?
The only time you will see me use the "Disabled" card is when I have to list them for the doctors, to obtain services for the school or medical settings and to explain (if it happens) when he has an episode.
Otherwise, he is just a kid. Not a handicapped or disabled child. Just a normal child. I refuse to let his disabilities hinder my child from doing ANYTHING he wants to do or to try and do.
He will need to be an independent citizen of society. How will he become one if I do EVERYTHING for him and make the "Disabled" excuse for him for everything?
The world doesn't revolve around Bryce's disabilities. He and his disabilities are having to revolve and integrate in to the world around them. And that's as it should be.
For the most part, aside from a few limitations. I was just a normal kid. To myself and to my friends (what few I had).
My mom was the one that made me out to be a seemingly helpless child. Out of fear more than anything else. The only REAL limitation I really had was going under water, or letting it go past by breast area. Otherwise, it was all good.
But she restricted me to no running, no playing softball or kickball (or soccer), no playing in the dirt and having to only go to friend's homes that were "near by in case something happened".
I refuse to do those things to my son. He has some limitations. Not in the physical sense, but mentally. Yes indeed, he is EXTREMELY smart educationally. But he severely lacks interpersonal relationship skills, behavior appropriation and his maturity level is more of my six year old's level, if not a bit younger to a degree.
But I still let him walk to school (on warm days, not in the rain or dead of winter). He gets to go to friend's homes, where a few may be as much as a five minute drive (instead of a five minute walk). He spends the night at his uncle's home once in a while and if a friend invited him for a night's stay, sure!
Bryce also must do chores. Clean his room, take recycling to the basement and place them in the appropriate bins, gather his dirty laundry to wash, put away his clean clothes.
I don't do the "he just doesn't understand or do it in a timely manner because of his mental problems, so I'll just do it for him" crap. He has working arms, legs, feet and hands! Why should I do it for him when he is PERFECTLY able-bodied to do so?
The only time you will see me use the "Disabled" card is when I have to list them for the doctors, to obtain services for the school or medical settings and to explain (if it happens) when he has an episode.
Otherwise, he is just a kid. Not a handicapped or disabled child. Just a normal child. I refuse to let his disabilities hinder my child from doing ANYTHING he wants to do or to try and do.
He will need to be an independent citizen of society. How will he become one if I do EVERYTHING for him and make the "Disabled" excuse for him for everything?
The world doesn't revolve around Bryce's disabilities. He and his disabilities are having to revolve and integrate in to the world around them. And that's as it should be.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Readers/Followers... (Yeah, I'm pretty upset!)
Okay, I think I need to nip this in the bud. Right here. Right now.
I do NOT do the "I followed you/follow me back" crap. That is NOT the way I roll. If I decide to click on your profile and check out your blog, I will. But without ANY pushing.
This blog is not my way to get a bunch of "followers" that are only doing the above 'game'. I want REAL readers/followers of this blog.
Why? Because the subject matter of THIS blog is REAL.
It is NOT a game.
Mental illnesses and disorders are not things that are to be triffled and played with. Their causes are real. Their affects are real.
And PERSONALLY, I feel that those of you that do the copy/paste shit with no intention of reading the posts, only out to get more "readers" are not only disrespecting me, but you are also disrespecting my son and our family.
So be warned....
If you are going to "follow" then do so. And READ what the realities REALLY are for my child, us as a family, and MILLIONS of other kids and their families that are dealing with mental illness.
I do NOT do the "I followed you/follow me back" crap. That is NOT the way I roll. If I decide to click on your profile and check out your blog, I will. But without ANY pushing.
This blog is not my way to get a bunch of "followers" that are only doing the above 'game'. I want REAL readers/followers of this blog.
Why? Because the subject matter of THIS blog is REAL.
It is NOT a game.
Mental illnesses and disorders are not things that are to be triffled and played with. Their causes are real. Their affects are real.
And PERSONALLY, I feel that those of you that do the copy/paste shit with no intention of reading the posts, only out to get more "readers" are not only disrespecting me, but you are also disrespecting my son and our family.
So be warned....
If you are going to "follow" then do so. And READ what the realities REALLY are for my child, us as a family, and MILLIONS of other kids and their families that are dealing with mental illness.
Monday, January 3, 2011
What Do YOU See In Him??
When you see my son, what do you see? Do you see the happiness he can have most of the time? Do you see that he can be sly at any given moment? Do you see how much he loves his family?
Can you see that my son is Bipolar (classed as Mood Disorder), with OCD, ADHD, Asperger's Tendencies,Manic Depression, an Anxiety Disorder, Tardive Dyskenesia and a Behavior Disorder?
When our children with these 'problems' have an "off" day of lashing out and being 'abnormal', it is OUR normal. We have gotten used to the stares and whispers out in the public eye. Especially when an episode from the Mania he experiences just suddenly pops up during a shopping trip or other outing.
Sure all is fine and good with the world around us....Until *it* happens. Bryce's eyes glaze over in a "haze" and get a more sharp tone. His voice is quiet. His movement almost at a stand still. Then it happens. OUTBURST!
Next thing I know, I am having to take Bryce off to the side to talk him down, maybe even bear hug him from behind. Otherwise he is going to try and knock things over, run off, or hit someone (mainly me or his sisters).
And this is where the world's judges come in. They gawk and stare at the "evil" little boy and the parents that obviously can't "control" their kid. They see that as one of us is dealing with Bryce, the other is trying to maintain calmness with Hayley and Skyler, as to not have them feel upset or embarrassed.
Once everything is said and done, the calm comes as the storm passes. And everything is as it once was before the episode hit. And yes, these can occur at ANY given moment at ANY time of day, in ANY place (even in the home).
What you see as an "outsider" looking in though is NOT what I see. I don't see the "evil" little child that is unruly and needs his "ass whipped more often".
What I personally see as Bryce's mother, and Scott sees in his son as the boy's father is the potential that our son has to become a normal and productive member of society.
Bryce is in mainstream classes at school. And in ADVANCED Math and Reading classes.
He has friends and a 'social life'.
Bryce loves to play games on the computer.
My boy is a major Hot Wheels and Zhu Pets junkie.
He has a wonderful talent for knowing about Astronomy and Science in general.
But Bryce also requires monthly Psychiatric sessions because to help curb MOST of the symptoms of all of his disabilities, he needs medication. And to be sure that the medicines are working properly, there are no adverse affects, and that he is overall doing well, he must see a "shrink".
Okay, yes I said that I "drug" my kid. But, there are SO MANY misconceptions about the medications that are given to Psychiatric patients. Especially those given to children.
My son is not a "zombie'. He is not "foaming at the mouth" or listless. He is functioning at a better rate for his age THANKS TO those drugs. And it helps curb the ideals for him to go and get a hammer or knife and hold it up at me, all the while saying he is GOING TO KILL ME.
Yep, that's actually happened a few times over the years. Why do you think I have to keep the tool room locked? Mainly with the hammer. I don't remember him ever trying it with a knife. But he has raised scissors, ready to strike at me.
What this is all boiling down to is that for parents such as myself, we are tired of "professionals" telling us what we do or do not know. No one knows our children better than us. And when we cry out for help, we EXPECT someone to be there, listen and do RIGHT by our kids. Not pass us off and think that they 'know' our children. When that happens, dangerous or even fatal errors can occur.
Same goes for society as well. When you see a parent dealing with an "evil little brat", don't assume that the kid is just a 'bad seed' and the parent is just not "parenting right". Look at the scene a little closer. Try for a second to put yourself in their shoes. Because their child might be Special too.
Hidden Disabilities get the most "heat" in this nation (USA) and passed off by the general public more than it should be. It's time to stand back and get to know the person before judging them. They are human too and all they ask for, like anyone else is some compassion, understanding, and caring.
Can you see that my son is Bipolar (classed as Mood Disorder), with OCD, ADHD, Asperger's Tendencies,Manic Depression, an Anxiety Disorder, Tardive Dyskenesia and a Behavior Disorder?
When our children with these 'problems' have an "off" day of lashing out and being 'abnormal', it is OUR normal. We have gotten used to the stares and whispers out in the public eye. Especially when an episode from the Mania he experiences just suddenly pops up during a shopping trip or other outing.
Sure all is fine and good with the world around us....Until *it* happens. Bryce's eyes glaze over in a "haze" and get a more sharp tone. His voice is quiet. His movement almost at a stand still. Then it happens. OUTBURST!
Next thing I know, I am having to take Bryce off to the side to talk him down, maybe even bear hug him from behind. Otherwise he is going to try and knock things over, run off, or hit someone (mainly me or his sisters).
And this is where the world's judges come in. They gawk and stare at the "evil" little boy and the parents that obviously can't "control" their kid. They see that as one of us is dealing with Bryce, the other is trying to maintain calmness with Hayley and Skyler, as to not have them feel upset or embarrassed.
Once everything is said and done, the calm comes as the storm passes. And everything is as it once was before the episode hit. And yes, these can occur at ANY given moment at ANY time of day, in ANY place (even in the home).
What you see as an "outsider" looking in though is NOT what I see. I don't see the "evil" little child that is unruly and needs his "ass whipped more often".
What I personally see as Bryce's mother, and Scott sees in his son as the boy's father is the potential that our son has to become a normal and productive member of society.
Bryce is in mainstream classes at school. And in ADVANCED Math and Reading classes.
He has friends and a 'social life'.
Bryce loves to play games on the computer.
My boy is a major Hot Wheels and Zhu Pets junkie.
He has a wonderful talent for knowing about Astronomy and Science in general.
But Bryce also requires monthly Psychiatric sessions because to help curb MOST of the symptoms of all of his disabilities, he needs medication. And to be sure that the medicines are working properly, there are no adverse affects, and that he is overall doing well, he must see a "shrink".
Okay, yes I said that I "drug" my kid. But, there are SO MANY misconceptions about the medications that are given to Psychiatric patients. Especially those given to children.
My son is not a "zombie'. He is not "foaming at the mouth" or listless. He is functioning at a better rate for his age THANKS TO those drugs. And it helps curb the ideals for him to go and get a hammer or knife and hold it up at me, all the while saying he is GOING TO KILL ME.
Yep, that's actually happened a few times over the years. Why do you think I have to keep the tool room locked? Mainly with the hammer. I don't remember him ever trying it with a knife. But he has raised scissors, ready to strike at me.
What this is all boiling down to is that for parents such as myself, we are tired of "professionals" telling us what we do or do not know. No one knows our children better than us. And when we cry out for help, we EXPECT someone to be there, listen and do RIGHT by our kids. Not pass us off and think that they 'know' our children. When that happens, dangerous or even fatal errors can occur.
Same goes for society as well. When you see a parent dealing with an "evil little brat", don't assume that the kid is just a 'bad seed' and the parent is just not "parenting right". Look at the scene a little closer. Try for a second to put yourself in their shoes. Because their child might be Special too.
Hidden Disabilities get the most "heat" in this nation (USA) and passed off by the general public more than it should be. It's time to stand back and get to know the person before judging them. They are human too and all they ask for, like anyone else is some compassion, understanding, and caring.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
My hopes for my child(ren) in 2011.
Here is what I hope for my son with the start of the new year...
1) That he can FINALLY receive much needed Services that are SUPPOSED TO BE given to him per request in school (504 Plan, IEP, Day Treatment Services, a couple accommodations..ANYTHING).
2) That the stability keeps up with what meds and doses of said medications he is on now. So far, this chick has NO room to complain, in comparison to about a year and a half ago.
3) That he makes even bigger strides in his interpersonal relationships with his friends and family members.
4) That as a family, we keep getting stronger and on the bad days, can work together better to get past each bump in the proverbial road that comes our way.
5) I hope that all three of my children grow even more tight than they are now. They are close, but they are starting to stray, thanks to age. So I can only hope the bond deepens as they get older.
6) That all three of my kids live life to its fullest with grace, dignity, love, respect, tolerance and peace. I can only hope that my teachings and advocacy have thus far done their jobs in helping me to raise the future.
1) That he can FINALLY receive much needed Services that are SUPPOSED TO BE given to him per request in school (504 Plan, IEP, Day Treatment Services, a couple accommodations..ANYTHING).
2) That the stability keeps up with what meds and doses of said medications he is on now. So far, this chick has NO room to complain, in comparison to about a year and a half ago.
3) That he makes even bigger strides in his interpersonal relationships with his friends and family members.
4) That as a family, we keep getting stronger and on the bad days, can work together better to get past each bump in the proverbial road that comes our way.
5) I hope that all three of my children grow even more tight than they are now. They are close, but they are starting to stray, thanks to age. So I can only hope the bond deepens as they get older.
6) That all three of my kids live life to its fullest with grace, dignity, love, respect, tolerance and peace. I can only hope that my teachings and advocacy have thus far done their jobs in helping me to raise the future.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
My version of "normal".
Yeah. It's me again. Just felt the need to say this..
My son is "different", being he has Tardive Diskenesia, brought on as side effects due to his medications. He has times where his tongue moves in and out (kind of like a snake). He inner-touches his fingers. His speech is "jumbled" at times and he seemingly has a stuttering problem.
Also, he can have massive melt downs about the littlest thing. What is trivial to "normal" people is "life changing" or so-called "earth-shattering" things to him.
He cannot handle change well. Sudden changes primarily (substitutes at school, major changes of a room's structure, etc.). Nor can he handle changes in his daily routines without advanced (at least a couple of hours, if not days) warning. Same with changing his environment.
Aside from all of that, he is your average nine-year-old boy. He loves his Hot Wheels, his Transformers, to ride his bike and hang with his friends (the few he has).
Wait a sec... Did I say he is "NORMAL"? Yes. Yes indeed I did. Even after all that I had listed above, my son IS a normal child. Maybe not society's view of 'normal'. But normal none the less.
He's "normal" to me at least. I see him no other way.
My son is "different", being he has Tardive Diskenesia, brought on as side effects due to his medications. He has times where his tongue moves in and out (kind of like a snake). He inner-touches his fingers. His speech is "jumbled" at times and he seemingly has a stuttering problem.
Also, he can have massive melt downs about the littlest thing. What is trivial to "normal" people is "life changing" or so-called "earth-shattering" things to him.
He cannot handle change well. Sudden changes primarily (substitutes at school, major changes of a room's structure, etc.). Nor can he handle changes in his daily routines without advanced (at least a couple of hours, if not days) warning. Same with changing his environment.
Aside from all of that, he is your average nine-year-old boy. He loves his Hot Wheels, his Transformers, to ride his bike and hang with his friends (the few he has).
Wait a sec... Did I say he is "NORMAL"? Yes. Yes indeed I did. Even after all that I had listed above, my son IS a normal child. Maybe not society's view of 'normal'. But normal none the less.
He's "normal" to me at least. I see him no other way.
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